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Lisa Hoffman, an Introduction
I am an onion. Well, you know, not a REAL onion, I’m just talking metaphorically here.As I age, each year wraps around and over the previous. Year by year memories are formed and covered with new layers.
I know, this whole onion person metaphor is kind of weird, but I really like onions, so work with me here…
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Once Upon a Time…
Once upon a time in a small city in Mid-Central Wisconsin, there lived a family with three daughters. The youngest daughter was born prematurely and weighed only three pounds. When she came home from the hospital two months later, her two sisters asked if they had to keep her? They were so hoping for a brother. Over the years, their wish was kind of granted. Their little sister was quite a Tomboy. She played cowboys and Indians with the neighborhood kids and was happiest when she was playing basketball or football with her classmates.
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Sidetracked Legacies
Now that I’ve left teaching (and my kids are back at school (no more Covid shutdowns–I hope) I am in the process of reinventing my life.
Specifically, I’m working on developing a new career plan…and that begins with strategic daily routines and new avenues to create and contribute. One new addition to my life is something called “Sidetracked Legacies”.My morning starts with getting up, putting on my exercise clothes, and spending a few minutes with my kids before they head off to school. Then I head out for a “momma jog” with the pups, Stella and Evie. I use this time to listen to podcasts. The two that I regularly tap into lately are “The Life Coach School” by Brooke Castillo and “Don’t Keep Your Day Job” by Cathy Heller. These are timely and interesting since I’m on the road to becoming a certified life coach and launching my own podcasts…soon! They hit me right where I’m at.
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What’s So Special About a Silly Apron?
Did you know that there is a day dedicated to “aprons” (November 24th)? I couldn’t help but reflect back on a very special apron that I have. I really don’t usually wear an apron, but way back in the day–like 1961–I was going with a guy (he is amazingly, still, my husband today) that had a surprising skill that changed the way I will forever view the humble apron.
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Midlife MasterClass–Trailer
You will be able to tune into the podcast beginning January 2022. I’m starting a podcast called “Midlife MasterClass”.
A couple of weeks ago I asked for help in choosing between two podcast covers. One cover was a bold graphic design and the other was more personal with a picture of me. The overwhelming choice was the more personal picture. Thank you to everyone who commented and messaged me with encouragement.
Now I’m on to phase 2…the trailer for my podcast.
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Fall Gardening…NOT for the Faint of Heart
As previously mentioned in this prior post, I love, love, LOVE to garden! But not all seasons are appreciated equally. You see, I have a problem with fall gardening.
I have a very large perennial garden and after all the thought and work I’ve put into it, the end is so sad. In Wisconsin, we call it “fall”.
So many people love the changing colors of the trees and bushes. But why does no one but me notice our dying gardens? Arghhhh. I look out at my backyard and see brown ferns, the leftover stems from phlox, and weeds that were previously hidden. Don’t even get me going on the holes from when my grand dogs visited.
Here are some sanity strategies that I’ve come up with (instead of just mowing everything down and planting grass seed).
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Starting Over (One More Time!)
I thought my time for “starting over” had passed. That idea turned out not to be true. At the end of April, I went back to work. I decided to re-evaluate what I was doing. Retirement was great and yet I felt the need to fill some gaps. This time, I chose a completely new field. It was the right thing to do. My work was going well. It was time to stop the drain on my retirement funds and to add a new purpose to my life. -
Gratitude or Appreciation? You get to choose..
Gratitude or appreciation…When I was a little girl my parents taught me to always say “please” and “thank you” when appropriate. I can remember if I forgot, Mom would say “what do you say?” and the correct answer was ”thank you”. When we learn these words, often the true meaning and importance is lost on us. As children, we don’t necessarily understand the emotion of appreciation that is supposed to be tied to the words. Now as adults, we still bypass the simple, daily act of thankfulness. But being grateful is a habit that will always serve us well throughout our lives. Always.
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Are Grandparents Obsolete?
Women over fifty (and of course, men also), are all so excited with the prospect of being grandparents. I go along with this as it gives us a second chance, or tries to make up for some of the mistakes that we made with our children. Most of us were probably young and did the best we thought we could, but as our children will most often advise us we often screwed up at some point. -
Gray or Nay?!
I have been dying my hair since, I don’t know, about fifteen (I think). It feels like I HAVE always colored my hair and WILL always color my hair. However, it seems like I have been fighting with my daughter, Lisa, for years about the whole concept of “going gray”. She fears that I am continuing this procedure way past the time it is cool or attractive for me. I believe she SHOULD continue to dye her hair.
The question is, when is the proper time to just let it go gray? (Hopefully, when I say gray I mean a wonderful shade of white/silver-gray that complements my features, brings out the green in my eyes, gives me perky breasts, makes me look 10 pounds lighter, lengthens my legs …)
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Craft the Life you Want…Start with Organizing Your Sock Drawer
The first step in crafting the life you want is to get rid of everything you don’t.
-JoshuaBecker
It was November 1998. Tom and I had just listed out the household items that we were dividing between the two of us. We were getting a divorce. He got the leather lounge chair with the matching ottoman, the good blender, and our best set of knives. I kept the master bedroom furniture, the new sofa, and the dishes we got for our wedding 13 years prior. He took the new Acura. I kept all of my flea-market treasures.
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Talking to Yourself
Last week, half of the sisters were out of town, so Lisa and I met one on one. These are rare occasions since we both have commitments that keep us very busy and out of trouble. I was thinking about how pleasant our visit was and then I got sidetracked (surprise, surprise).I realized as I thought back, that during our visit, I was sending myself very negative messages about guess who? ME. I have a wonderful relationship with my husband, my son, my sister and her husband, my nieces and their families, and my stepdaughter and her family. Sadly, the worst relationship I have seems to be with myself.
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My “Hot Tub Rules” for Underwear
Opening the top left drawer of my dresser in the bedroom, I need a fresh pair of underwear. However, the drawer is filled with so many items besides the needed unders. This is where I store 1/2 ream of printed emails that my husband sent to me in the year before we got married. It holds 18 old mother’s day cards from my three children, 8 bibs from races that I’ve run and 4 metals from three half-marathons and one full marathon that I ran, and 12 multi-colored headbands.
At first glance, it holds everything EXCEPT underwear. Do I not own underwear? Do I even wear underwear?Have you ever given any thought to the idea that underwear should be considered when making a commitment to yourself about self-care? Well, let me tell you a story…
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Time to Clean – Becoming a FlyLady
If you are anything like me, I have a hard time wanting to clean my house. I don’t enjoy cleaning at all. Growing up, my mom did it right. She had it set up that Lisa and I had jobs to do to clean the whole house by the time she came home from work. I dusted and Lisa vacuumed. On Saturdays, you didn’t do anything else until those jobs were done. -
Faith
Where do you do church?
How should a church look?
These seem to be two very controversial questions lately. Especially after COVID, where we have all been confined to our homes, apartments, (or wherever we might have the fortune or misfortune to find ourselves)…spiritual practice rules are up for debate. -
Think and Grow What???
I recently reread the 1937 version of Napoleon Hills’ “Think and Grow Rich”. Mr. Hill opens his first chapter with the phrase “Thoughts are Things”. He goes on to say that when we mix our thoughts with purpose, persistence, and a burning desire for their translation into riches or other material objects, these thoughts have the power to create what we are desirous of. Wow. That’s quite a statement.
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Technology Troubles
I’ve always prided myself on being able to keep up with the necessary knowledge and skills needed to complete tasks. Well, scratch that “always” off the books. It seems that everything I need to do today requires technical knowledge that I struggle with. Writing our Sidetracked Sisters Blog has always been fun for me. Recently, it seems like the programs we need to understand and use have become more complicated. Every time I make notes about what I need to do and how I need to submit my writing, something has changed. So I try to use my version of “common sense” and I really mess things up. I refuse to give in to failure and yet I dislike feeling like I’m not keeping up.
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Walking, Walking, Walking – Keep it Moving
For the past 3 months, my sister and I have been walking the dogs every morning. We are becoming known around the neighborhood as the crazy dog ladies (at least that’s what I think we must look like while walking 4-5 dogs).
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Dress for Success
Then, I went to the pharmacy yesterday to get a prescription for my dad. It wasn’t ready yet, so I had about 10 minutes to shop while I waited.
I grabbed a watermelon and some boxes of Kraft Mac&Cheese that were on sale. I was investigating the spices when someone said my name. It didn’t register that they were talking to me until they said my name again, “Lisa?”
I glanced up to recognize an elder version of a guy I used to drool over when I was 14. Eric was still about 6’5″ and his blond athletic self. He is/was 3 years older than I. (In High School, this seemed soooo important). Now, I noticed that he looked somewhat….faded…but he was still tall, and still blond, and…HE noticed me. -
Update–8 Weeks Later
Whenever I’ve done one of those life evaluation surveys or goal setting or tried to start a new habit, it always feels so good to begin on a Monday or on the first day of the month. I’m not a big fan of January 1 resolutions. But I do like re-evaluations and starting new habits at the beginning of seasons–fall and summer both coincide with the beginning/end of a school year. But this time I’ve gone rogue and set myself up with a public weight loss challenge.
I posted 8 weeks ago that I planned to drop 8 pounds because bulge had crept to my middle and set up housekeeping. Now it was time to lose those 8 pounds. I stated that I would provide an update on June 1st…
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Spring Hygge Anyone?
Spring
Raindrops and puddles
Laughter, dressed in yellow coats,
Umbrellas in hand
Yeah. Right.
Have you seen any kids lately wearing those Hallmark-style yellow raincoats? Me neither. Spring here in Wisconsin seems to be one wet, cold, windy day after another. Kids still love their umbrellas, but we all seem to be wearing damp jackets and holding our breath…just waiting for summer to arrive.
Have you heard of Wisconsin’s eleven seasons? Winter, Fool’s Spring, Second Winter, Spring of Deception, Third Winter, Mud Season, Actual Spring, Summer, False Fall, Second Summer (one week), and Winter.
Spring is sooooooo long. We feel impatience. There is a restlessness in the air.
So, how do you get your mind in a place of appreciation, mindfulness, and gratitude?
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Fern Gardeners…Beware!
Years ago when I realized I had inherited the gardening gene from a favorite uncle of mine, I lived in a different house, on a different street, and had different sun exposure.
There was full sun on all sides of my just-built house. It was fun planting flowers such as snapdragons, marigolds, zinnias, geraniums and I achieved a profusion of flowers and consistently brilliant colors. I spent hundreds of dollars every spring purchasing annuals to accomplish this result.
Then, we moved, and guess what? I now live in a house with mature maple and birch trees. This translates into a yard with almost no sun. Can you say…gardening challenge? As noted before I was used to lots of sunlight and could grow almost all sun-loving plants. -
Share the Love
In our neighborhood, there is a person who lives at the corner who hangs dog treats on the bushes next to the sidewalk. A small sign tells dog walkers to “Please take one.”
She is putting a little love out into the world.
The other day, I saw a woman in the grocery checkout line who was wearing a dress identical to one that I own. I thought that it looked nice on her. A few minutes later, as I was driving out of the parking lot, I saw the same woman. She was walking to her car with her shopping cart. I rolled down my window and hollered “Hey, I just wanted to tell you how great you look in that dress. I have the same one at home and I love it.” She replied, “Thanks, I got it on sale at Kohls.” I answered back, “Yeah, I even wear it just like you do, with leggings and a jacket”.
Just putting a little love out into the world.
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My Dog is Family
What is it with dogs? Are you one of the people that celebrated National Pet Day earlier this month? Do you love a furry friend?
Whoever said that diamonds are a girl’s best friend…obviously never had a dog!
Do you need unconditional love, something to love you forever and ever (sounds great, right!)?
Do you love having something warm and fuzzy to cuddle with, share a bed with?When Mollie, a liver/white tri English Springer Spaniel that was with us for fourteen years died, I said it would be my last.
I just couldn’t put my heart through another heartbreak.
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How to Deal with Impatience and Not Go Crazy
Lately, I find that I have absolutely no patience with the people and things around me. I’m sure my family will say that I’m always like that, but I think it’s been getting worse. Yesterday, I found myself slamming my phone down on my desk simply because the screen would go into sleep mode too soon. Today, I feel like I’m just trying to pick a fight with anyone that crosses my path. Even as I sit here writing this, I can hear the person across the table from me crunching on food and it’s making me feel crazy. -
Wallpaper With a Twist
In our family, we all like to help each other with projects, especially home projects. Just one word of warning. If Sandy is creating be sure you understand the parameters of the project. We were asked to help wallpaper Michelle’s bathroom. That request sounded tame enough. Right??
Wrong!
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How to Gain 8 Pounds in 8 Weeks
The day that I’m writing this is exactly 8 weeks until June 1st.
June always feels like the beginning of summer to me. Summer..sleeveless shirts, shorts, sandals (read no more covering up with turtlenecks, sweaters, or fleecy leggings). I’ve used these items to camouflage my fluffy body for a few months. Putting on weight happens soooooo effortlessly. I weigh myself every Monday (mostly) and watched the numbers creep up, pound by pound, each week. I wasn’t trying to lose weight, just trying to stay the same. But I was struggling.
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What to Do When Your Body is Falling Apart
What do you do when your an active woman with a full life and your body starts to fall apart? Well, I made an appointment to see my primary care physician…
Midlife: That time in your life when you finally get your head together and your body starts to fall apart! At the office visit, my doctor informed me that that I no longer needed a mammogram, pap smear, or colonoscopy. I found this interesting so I asked, “Why is that?” He skirted around the question, but I guessed, “You mean I am just too old?”
Well, the fact is, say…if cancer is detected, I am actually too old to go through the process of working on a cure or whatever….
WOW!
HELLO?
Let that sink in a moment.
That made me feel, kind of, sort of WEIRD.
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Voiceless Woman
I remember driving with my mom in the passenger seat. I might comment on a pretty house. She answered me with silence.
When I asked my mom for her opinion on how a new dress looked on me, she would reply with “I wonder what it would look like on me?” She wouldn’t answer my question.
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Be True To Yourself
While we are all trying to improve ourselves and make the most out of our lives, one thing that we must keep in mind is to be true to yourself. Following what society expects or desires you to be or to look like or to accomplish does nothing for you if you don’t agree with those expectations. All you end up doing is frustrating yourself. Here are 5 things to consider when trying to fit into society’s expectations and also be true to yourself. -
To Meditate or NOT to Meditate
Meditation is supposed to be a wonderful way to relax, come to terms with your inner self, help relax your body, help your mind focus, blah, blah, blah.
Well, you know what? I have found meditation to be a huge waste of time. I have tried, really, I have tried!
Come on inner peace…I don’t have all day! (I know people around me would sa I HAVEN’T really tried,(see here) but that is just not true.)
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Helping Your College Student with Homesickness
When my youngest kid left for college this past fall, we went through some significant homesickness. She has always been my “velcro” kid and loves to be home and a part of things. There were a lot of tears and feelings of “I don’t want to go” happening. As a parent that likes to always see her kids happy – this broke my heart. I didn’t know how to help – so I resorted to the Internet to guide me in what to do. After reading a few posts – I decided on my own methods.
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The Emotional Bank Account
When I was growing up, I always thought relationships had to be 50/50. Give and take needed to be equal or the relationship would not succeed. In reality, what I discovered was that relationships almost always consist of an unequal number of contributions. If one person is having a great day, they might contribute 80%. If the other person was having a bad day or a troublesome day, their contribution might only be 20% or less. The goal was to have the total equal to 100%. Unfortunately, that didn’t always happen.
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Is Spring House Cleaning Even a Thing Any More?
The first day of spring this year is just around the corner. And that gets me thinking about…”Spring House Cleaning”! Crazy, I know. Isn’t this an antiquated activity?
I remember when some of the most beautiful spring days were dedicated to emptying out one room of a house at a time. Then we spent days cleaning windows, washing walls, scrubbing floors, shampooing carpets, organizing drawers, sorting out closets, you get the idea. We used to basically clean the whole damn house, from top to bottom, one room at a time. -
Lean In to Mid-Life…
I quit my job, my career, that activity that defined me as a person for 30 years. Since I’m over 55, I guess that means that I’m “retired”.
But what DOES that mean? I was doing the responsible thing by sticking to my “chosen” path for so long. Retirement sounds like my grandma who played Canasta with the ladies every Tuesday afternoon.
For the last two decades, I’ve sacrificed my energy to a career that was dependable, reliable, and safe.
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Join Us!
On April 8, 2014, we started this blog.
Almost 7 years ago, we began by introducing ourselves, “Sidetracked Sisters are Sandy & Judy (sisters) and Lisa & Michelle (sisters). We are 4 sides of the same coin…(hmmmmm – how is that possible?). Some say we are very much alike, yet others say we are as different as they come. We are family and LOVE to torment each other.”
But you probably know that already if you’ve been following us for a while.
Sidetracked Sisters started as a home-based crafting group. After several years, we began writing our blog where we shared thoughts and 178 writings on random topics.
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Developing Relationships with Your Mother-in-Law
Here are six tips for having a good relationship with your mother-in-law. -
Halloween Is Not Just For Kids! – Enjoy Yourself!
Who thinks that Halloween is strictly for kids. I have noticed that a lot of adults sure know how to enjoy themselves. I have had a couple of fun memories that still make me laugh about Halloween! -
Celebrating Indigenous People’s Day
Some of you might have been wondering why I posted a Discover Columbus post on what I called Columbus Day back on October 12, 2020. One of the Sidetracked Sisters brought to my attention that the celebration of this day has become “Indigenous People’s Day. I knew that at some level. Unfortunately, not in time to make this post “Politically Correct”.
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Move it…or Lose it!
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I Try to Stick to One Book, Honest!
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Is It Time to Jump Ship?
How do you know when it is time to leave…
to retire…
to change jobs…
to jump ship and switch careers?
Maybe you are looking for an “aha” moment to point you in the right direction.
A signal that shows it. is. time…
I am a teacher. I have been a teacher for more than 20 years. I’ve always known that my passion is dreaming…learning…
teaching.
That was until the beginning of November 2015.
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To Tan or Not to Tan
To tan or not to tan, that is the question!!!
As I sit here with my white legs, white arms, white face, white body, white everything looking like a newly plucked chicken, next to my Hispanic granddaughter with beautiful caramel skin. I love caramel skin and in my next life perhaps I will have that gorgeous, flawless skin, caramel in color. But, today I am reflecting back to the days when we actually tried to achieve, and did, but not without a little (a lot) discomfort and pain. -
The Innocence of Youth
Mom and I went out the door hand in hand and headed to the bus stop. Mom didn’t drive when we were little so the two of us did our weekly trek to catch the bus for downtown. We would do our errands and then do our grocery shopping and finally take a taxi home with our treasures and groceries.
Three-year-old me ran up the steps and found a seat for us near the front of the bus. Most of the people that rode the bus back in the day knew each other. This day there was a man that was unfamiliar. Something was a bit different about him. I tried to whisper to Mom but my voice came out a bit loud. I asked how come that man had such a dirty face. She shushed me but too late. The man had heard my question. He told me that his skin was a different color than mine. I asked him why and he answered that he was born that way. He asked Mom if I wanted to touch his skin. She quietly declined and I climbed up in her lap. -
Rock Your Hairstyle (for Women Over 50)
I got my hair cut–I mean CUT–right before 2nd grade. I was 7 years old. My mom had just gotten her 1960’s shoulder-length locks updated into the iconic 70’s shag. I loved her new do and wanted to be a grown-up who could make choices about my hair. So after much begging and pleading, mom relented. Thus was the beginning with my love/hate relationship with my hair.
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No Bras Required – Ever!
Age 18 – No Boobs!! Bras have always been a source of strife in my life – being one of those people that really doesn’t require one completely. (I’m the odd duck in my family in this regard)
Look at this picture!! I’m 18 in this picture and you can see – I have NO BOOBS!! Ha-ha!
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Who the Hell Invented Bras?? It Must’ve Been a Man!
Bra drawer of a cute perky teen Who the hell invented bras, and who the hell says we have to wear them????
Who likes bras? Well, I don’t know many people, women, who do. On two different occasions, maybe three, I have gone bra shopping with family and friends, spending many, many hours in dressing rooms, thinking that I have found the ONE. Then a couple of days later I returned all of them much to the dismay of my helpers. As you will note in some other Sidetracked Sisters’ posts I am not very popular in this department.
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17 Tech Tricks Everyone Should Know
I’ve been working with computers for 30+ years. I’ve found lots of keyboard shortcuts over the years to help me. Here are 17 keyboard shortcuts/tech tricks that are not commonly known to help you at both home and work!
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Bra Shopping – The Perfect 6 Step How-To Guide
I recently needed a change. I was feeling blah and stale. When I looked in the mirror, my middle-aged face, clothes, and body all looked tired. I smoothed my hands over my face. I ran my fingers through my hair. I looked at my self straight on and sideways. Then I saw it. The “girls” could use a lift. They were looking rather blobby and rounded. I think the terminology is “uni-boob”. I decided that I would begin a mini-makeover from the inside out. That is, clothing-wise, with my undergarments–my bra.
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Shopping for Intimates (namely Bras) with my Sister?!?
Bra shopping is an event that comes along very rarely in my life. Several years ago, I found a bra that fit well and I keep buying the same make and model over and over in different colors but mostly flesh color. I know, boring. -
Parenting Brings Many Happy Memories
‘Chelle’s college graduation Well, I have had many happy parenting moments. Where to start? How about at the beginning.
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There is a Difference Between Being a Friend and an Enabler
I have always prided myself on being a good friend, but unfortunately, I had a very bad experience at trying to be just that.
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How Do I Love Thee – Let Me Count The Ways…
What do I love about myself is the question of the day. It’s a challenging question to answer because people tend to focus more on the negative aspects of themselves. I’m choosing to try to be more positive, so I’m actually having a hard time picking just one thing. That will most likely sound conceited to some. Here are a few things that I’m proud of about myself. -
Sandy’s 9 Tips for a Beautiful Garden
Here are some of my gardening tips:
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Letting Go, Decluttering and Streamlining
A magical night (in the perfect dress) We work from the time we’re old enough to make money to buy stuff. Actually, it’s true that there’s a lot of good stuff out there like collectibles, beautiful crystal, all of the issues of Oprah Magazine from Day one, clothes, furniture, decorations, and shoes (my special weakness). This is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to stuff. Then one day when we’re older, our desire to have things turns into the need and desire to purge and to work on letting go of the extras in your life.
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Changes are Coming – Time to Streamline My Life!
The women in my life are facing many changes and it’s brought to mind the idea that to have the kind of life you want, you need to let go of what you don’t want in your life. So it’s time to ask myself, what kind of life do I want and what do I need to let go of in order to obtain that kind of life? The first thing that comes to my mind is the clutter that I’ve accumulated since I moved out on my own. I tend to be a pack-rat and my basement contains so much clutter. The storage room contains toys and games from when the children were little, ceramics that Grandma Is never got around to painting, old prom dresses, etc. For whatever reason – I have a hard time letting go of the old stuff. By letting go of this clutter, I can make room for the new and simplify my home. I’ve currently been cleaning up some of the paperwork clutter. I’ve been shredded old documents that I’ve been holding onto dating back to 1986!!! (Don’t ask me why I’ve been saving documents for that long!!!)
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I Was Sooooo Cute as a Child – What a Body!
As a child, my body was an absolute bean pole, skinny that is. I actually went to the doctor as a teenager to get something to help me gain weight. He, of course, thought I was nuts, but gave me some kind of a prescription (probably just sugar pills). He said, “Someday you will wish you were this way.” Boy, was he right!
Then there is my hair. I am old, so to speak, and I can truthfully say I have yet to find a hairstyle that I feel is me. I can only keep trying. I am still waiting for my prime. I think it has come and gone, but one can only hope. Some days, I can actually say “What the hell”, and then others it frustrates me. I think that is normal for most people. Well – it is for me.
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How to be a (Worst) Friend
I am well well-suited to write this post for I fulfill the top three qualifications to be the worst friend…
I’ve always loved being with friends, laughing and hanging with great women, drinking and sharing memories with others who appreciate a self-deprecating story.
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50th Birthday – Setting Goals for the Year
OMG – this year will mark my 50th birthday. Thinking about this has brought to mind some things that need to change and some goals I need to achieve. I’m currently single, overweight, and will soon have no kids at home. It’ll be just me and the animals. Do I want to spend the next part of my life in the same way that I’ve been living? -
My Latest “AHA” Moment
Hhhmmm… I sat down at my desk and opened my daily calendar. Suddenly it hit me. Today is April 4, 2019, and I am turning 70 years old. Most of the people I know, who are my age, seem to have their act together. Several friends own lovely cabins up North. People I graduated from High School with have substantial pensions and retirement funds. Others have retired and are traveling and seeing the world. I always thought I would be enjoying these things too. Instead, I was still working at the bank and as much as I enjoyed helping others reach their goals, working at the bank was no longer one of mine.
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Retirement Reality
My aha moment came many weeks, months, after my retirement last year. I realized it after 56 years of working as a paralegal/legal secretary for the same firm my boss retired and the office closed. It is hard to break old habits, like cleaning at night and on weekends, never having any free time without feeling guilty, and being able to have some free time for myself. My aha moment came when one day many months later I realized, while I was on a road trip with a friend, that I didn’t have any real-time constraints other than my family needing me to come back for things such as cleaning, cooking, driving grandkids around, you know, the usual. We were driving along and I thought aha, I am on my own at this moment and don’t have to go to work. No one was expecting me to get out a will, do divorce papers, real estate documents, correspondence, and the list goes on. -
Friends – Both Old and New – I Love You All!
My BFFs Are you the type of person that has lots of friends around you or just one or two good ones? Throughout my life, I’ve had a few different people that I considered my good friends.
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I Love Me – I Love Me Not!
What is something I love about myself? And Why? Good grief. When someone asks me a question like this, my first response is “I have absolutely no idea”. Then when I get quiet and dig deeper, I find a thing or two. -
Want a Friend? Be a Friend!
When I was a little girl, I always felt like I didn’t have any friends. I was raised in a neighborhood of all boys. Play revolved around playing cowboys and Indians and other games that involved me being the only girl. I must say since I was the only one with cowboy boots and a holster set, I often played a lead role. I would pretend to be Roy Rogers or The Lone Ranger. Most of the boys were younger and smaller than I was so they didn’t argue with me. They followed my lead. -
Will You Marry Me?
What is a compliment?This can come in many ways. It could be when you were asked to prom, homecoming, or more exciting a marriage proposal.
I think my best compliment was my wedding proposal. Even though, in my case, it was when we were very young, but, guess what it is still working. Sometimes I don’t know how, but it is still in the work. I often kid that I need a medal, but, in fact, we both probably do. We have figured how to make this union work.
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That Reminds Me…
What does it mean if I can’t tell a joke? I can’t even remember a joke. I only know one joke aficionado who, when he tells a joke, I impatiently wait for the end and try (often unsuccessfully) to NOT roll my eyes.
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Love or Hate Cell Phones
Who has a love/hate relationship with their cell phones?Well, first of all, I hate the cost of these stupid things. My gosh my rent used to be $65.00 per month. I know, that was in the dark ages! Now to get an updated phone that does lots of things, costs ten times that per month. You’ve got to be kidding!!!!
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I Love All Colors!
I love all colors. I also love a monochromatic color scheme. Do I ever use it? Never. Oh well, I love the white-on-white idea of just about anything from china, to room decorations, etc. -
Have you heard any good ones lately?
“Have you heard the one about…?” You hear that phrase as someone passes and if you’re like me, you want to hear the rest of the story, all the way to the punch line. -
Stupid Jokes – I can never remember them anyway!
Stupid Jokes – I can never remember them anyway!O.K. there are a lot of jokes out there that are funny I must admit. I happen to have a significant other, a/k/a husband, who loves to tell jokes. How he remembers so many is beyond me. I hear a joke which I actually feel I should share and, of course, I can’t remember the stupid joke.
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Damn! I’m FUNNY!!
“Rectum? Damn near killed him!” – “Liquor? I hardly know her!”These are my two favorite jokes – or rather punch lines to jokes. I don’t know where I first heard either of these or what the actual jokes are, but I find both so funny. I don’t care how often I say them – they always make me chuckle. After years of hearing these over and over, my kids just roll their eyes and tell me I’m not very funny.
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Be Unplugged!
I have a love/hate relationship with technology…specifically with cell phones and how people use them. It’s time for us all to sit back and see how our gadgets are also complicating our lives and putting up barriers between us and the people we love. -
To Use or Not to Use (cell phones)
I have a lot of pet peeves when it comes to cell phones. People simply don’t know the proper times to use and NOT to use them. For example – public restrooms… Does the person you called really want to listen to the sounds emanating from a public restroom?? I know I’d rather not hear those sounds when I’m actually IN the bathroom let alone when someone has called me. Can’t they just wait till they are done and then make their call? -
Compliments vs. Insults
I’ve had a tough time writing this post. I’ve erased and started over multiple times. I wrote it to the end once and when I read it back to myself. I wanted to gag, so it too was deleted.The truth is, I don’t remember being complimented. It is much easier to remember the snarky remarks and yes, even the insults. Compliments? Not so much.
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My Happy Parenting Moments
Attempt #1My attempts at “parenting” have taken many forms. My first hint of what parenting looked like was at a distance with my two nieces. I lived out of state. I always made sure birthday gifts were received on time and was always available by phone but unlike the real thing, their parents did the heavy lifting. As the girls grew older, I had the wonderful experience of being a confidante and a mentor. I enjoyed this relationship with all my heart and still do. I do understand that this was not “real” parenting.
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I AM ENOUGH!!
I’m trying to think of what my best compliment is. Is this an easy thing for other people to come up with? I’ve been thinking about this and I seem to only think of insults that I’ve received. Unfortunately, it’s very easy to come up with a lot of negative comments or insults, but not as easy to come up with the compliments. I think that’s a problem for a lot of people. The negative things are much easier to believe. What’s the quote from Pretty Woman… “People put you down enough, you start to believe it.” and “The bad stuff is easier to believe… ever notice that?”
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Cell Phone Etiquette
I resisted having a cell phone for years. The thought of having a phone “on me” all the time gave me the creeps. Then I took a job out of town that took me away from home at all different hours and in all different seasons, rain and snow and I gave in. Before I knew it, I had just the “right” cell phone. My blackberry even had to match my glasses. In no time at all I was hooked. I couldn’t leave home without it.
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Cooking is a Waste of Time
I dislike cooking. I find cooking, on average, a waste of time. First of all, you have to decide what to make, then you have to go to the store. Another thing I dislike to do and purchase the ingredients Then you spend hours making your delicacy, it takes ten minutes to eat it, and then, guess what, you get to clean the mess up. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy cooking when the house is clean and everything is done, and I am cooking for a get-together of family and/or friends. The key here, everything else needs to be done. -
How Lovely the Silence of Growing Things
I am more myself in my garden than anywhere else. Its the place I feel most grounded. It is my happy place, my church. -
It’s the Little Things
I need to call Mom!
I want to be the mom who has kids, that when they mess up, never think “mom’s gonna kill me”. I want their first thought to be “I need to call my mom”. Where did I hear that recently??? It makes me wonder…What builds that kind of relationship? Perhaps the following three events would qualify.
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Becoming a Mom
I have lots of happy parenting memories! There was no question in my mind growing up that I wanted to be a parent. I loved babies!! It was when they started getting a little older that I started to question the idea. I was never the greatest babysitter. I wanted the kids to cooperate and listen to me obediently, but as any parent knows, that’s not what kids do!! -
Lazy or Just Inadequate?
Am I lazy or just inadequate?? I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Both in my personal life and my work life. In my work life, I’ve said for years that I want to get back to my computer programming/development skills. I have all the tools I need to refresh this information in my head, so why don’t I accomplish this? What is holding me back from accomplishing this goal?
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I Was Born a Pleaser
Somehow, in life, I was born a pleaser.
I was the youngest of three girls and I quickly learned how to act so that my sisters would be pleased with me. The other side of this spinning coin is, I have often been devastated when someone close to me says mean things to or about me. I can never understand why they would want to be hurtful. This results in me wanting to do something or try something, but being held back by the abuse I allow myself to suffer in the opinions of others. -
Honey… What’s Cooking??
I have a confession to make. I don’t cook very often. My husband was raised in the restaurant business and started scraping gum off the bottom of tables with a putty knife when he was too little to remember. One thing led to another and he started food preparation when he was very young. Being around food and people who cooked well caught on with him.
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I F**king Hate Cooking
I hate cooking. My kids have always been impossible to cook for. But before I get into that – maybe I should explain where I think my dislike of cooking came from.
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Where Does the Time Go?
Where does the time go?
Some of us are working hard, head down, getting stuff done…others, not so much. -
Soups, Casseroles, etc – Cooking Is Love To Me
In my mind, cooking equals love. The thinking goes this way…
If I love you, I take care of you.
If I take care of you, I want you to be healthy.
If I want you to be healthy, I want you to eat good food.
If I want you to eat good food, I have to cook.
If I cook, then you won’t get processed or fast food.
If you don’t get processed or fast food, you will be healthy.
If you are healthy, it means that I am doing a good job of taking care of you.
If I am taking care of you, then I love you.
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Forgive and Forget vs. Confront, Fight, and Fix
I recently read the book “All About Love” and connected with the author, bell hooks, when she said that “Women believe it is a sign of commitment, an expression of love, to endure unkindness or cruelty, to forgive and forget”.I was married during college to a bright and passionate young man. We were married for 12 tumultuous years. During that time, I believed that everything must be done to save the relationship.
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Do I Have a Favorite Drink?
What is my favorite drink?This sounds like an easy topic…not. My answer is, it depends.
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Hey! Get Me an Old Fashion!
My favorite drink: Alcoholic that is.
I guess I would have to say the this would be an “Old Fashion”. I say this because it has come to be a kind of old friend so to speak. When I came of age, (I don’t like beer) I tried what my Mom always ordered. A Bacardi. Then I thought I should be drinking what my friend liked. Manhattans.
Well, after a couple of years of being totally wiped on only one or two of those (most likely one), I realized that I didn’t really care for them. Anyway, an Old Fashion was presented to me. It had a good taste of booze, I like them rather sweet, and that is where I am at the present time. Margaritas come in second. When you are out of state you don’t even think of asking for an Old Fashion because they are made with brandy, not a staple in other states.
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Green Drink vs. Gin and Tonic
You might think that I have a touch of bipolar with this one. You see, I definitely have a morning drink and an evening drink…and these two are at the opposite end of the beverage spectrum. -
Weird Favorite Drinks
When someone asks you “What is your favorite drink?” – do you automatically think they are referring to an alcoholic drink? Well – I do, and that’s where I take pause. I’m not a big drinker. Typically people talk about coming home from work and having a drink or a beer… I come home from work and grab a glass of milk. Is that weird?
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Does Your Talk Match Your Walk?
Do I walk my talk? Do I follow through? Do my actions match my words? Do I do as I say? Sadly, in many cases, I would have to say NO…I feel kind of creepy admitting that because my intentions are always good. If I get down right honest, I often think out loud. I try out ideas like I try on clothes. When I speak my words and I look for reactions. My need to please is strong, so if the reactions to my thoughts out loud are too severe, I may go another direction. -
Practice What You Preach
I feel I definitely practice what I preach most of the time. For years and years, I’ve said I wanted a cottage on a lake. Now, it wasn’t just any lake or just any area, but I wanted it to be on South Lake Michigan Drive in Door County, WI, on Lake Michigan.
I always knew I was going to do this. We didn’t know how, didn’t know when, but it was going to happen. It had to. I put pictures up at work, constantly looked at the availability of properties and there was nothing… especially in our price range.
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Too Much Profanity!
I wish kids today (including my own) wouldn’t use profanity as much as they do. I really feel that there are so many more productive ways to express oneself other than swearing. This is something I strongly believe, BUT…. do I follow thru myself? Not so much.
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Be Careful Of What You Say Out Loud – Do Your Actions Match Your Words?
Do my actions match my words?
They DO. But…I’m very careful about what I say out loud. There’s a certain power that dreams–shared and spoken aloud–have in my life. A few of my biggies have been completing my master’s degree, adopting my kids, running a marathon. I committed and then took small, methodical steps to work toward the goal. I am slow and steady. I believe in planning your work and working your plan.
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The Magic of Christmas
When I think of Christmas, I remember all of the joy of being a child and feeling the magic of Christmas. There was the night I heard footsteps on the roof and I just knew that Santa and his reindeer were there. As I dozed off to sleep that night, I was sure I saw Rudolph’s bright red nose leading the sleigh onward and upward. -
Making Christmas Cookies
Making Christmas cookies has always been an important part of our holiday traditions. When Grandma Is was around – she would make all the cookies herself and gather the kids to decorate them (Lisa and I). -
Let the Hysteria Begin
When I was a kid, I would love to decorate for the holidays. My Mom always let me do my creative things. I would put evergreens wherever I could find a place. I would put my little sister to bed, (this was not an easy task, as she was always suspicious) then I would sneak downstairs and help decorate the tree which Santa had brought.
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Perfect Time for Gratitude
Sometimes I get really down and crabby. This has been one of those times for me, so tonight when we decided to express our “Gratitude List”, I felt like the timing was perfect. Coincidentally, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I think the “Universe” is telling me to be grateful and thankful.I realize that my greatest lessons have actually come from the most challenging and difficult times in my life. I am truly grateful for my resilience and my ability to be strong and to come back even when circumstances feel like I’m drowning in despair.