Once upon a time in a small city in Mid-Central Wisconsin, there lived a family with three daughters. The youngest daughter was born prematurely and weighed only three pounds. When she came home from the hospital two months later, her two sisters asked if they had to keep her? They were so hoping for a brother.
Over the years, their wish was kind of granted. Their little sister was quite a Tomboy. She played cowboys and Indians with the neighborhood kids and was happiest when she was playing basketball or football with her classmates. As she grew older, life had sadness to deal with. When she was 9, her oldest sister became ill and had to be cared for 24/7. Sadly, she passed away when our young girl was only 18. She passed on Mother’s Day and the whole family’s hearts were broken.
The youngest had spent nine years helping care for her sister. She didn’t date much or go out with her school friends. Her life was rather sheltered.
Just to be transparent, let’s call this young lady Judy. When Judy’s sister passed away, the family was devastated but slowly they went back to life as usual.
Mom and Dad went on vacations that Dad earned through his work. Judy’s middle (now) oldest sister was married and starting to raise her family. She was very street smart and adapted to the family’s new situation.
Judy didn’t really have a “life as usual”. As the youngest, she had looked to her oldest sister as a mentor and now she was gone. She had always seen her middle sister as her best friend and now she filled the role of mentor, too Judy and her sister became closer every day, and yet it was challenging because her sister had a beautiful daughter and was anxious to have another baby.
Judy often felt lonely and confused. She wanted a relationship like her Mom and Dad had, and one like her sister and her husband shared. She had never been good at relationships. She didn’t know what she was looking for. She was also painfully shy and clumsy around groups of people and especially men. The relationships she did have were ones where she fell into them and they were easy and didn’t turn out well.
She had several catastrophes in the relationship arena. Two failed marriages and one failed long-term relationship soured Judy on the idea of finding “the one”. She decided she would have to live her life alone and make it work.
She felt a bit like “Goldilocks” in the story about the three bears. The first marriage she was too young. The second marriage he was too old. The third relationship he was too flighty.
So, Judy went back to her life as usual. That meant alone and confused. One day, an old friend called and asked Judy to lunch. They had known each other for over fifteen years. He too had experienced two marriages but neither of them had lasted.
When they met for lunch, it was different than other experiences she’d had. The conversation was easy and fun. They had known each other for many years and had history. They enjoyed their time together and had several more pleasant lunches.
Then, one day, something changed. Instead of lunch, they met for dinner and that special spark that Judy had been waiting for was there between them. This special dinner happened over thirty-six years ago. This relationship grew and became everything Judy had been looking for. This friend was in fact Judy’s soulmate.
“A soulmate is someone who challenges you to be better, someone who can’t stand seeing you sad, someone who stays faithful, loyal, and committed to you, someone who helps take care of you when you’re sick, someone who stands by your side through the good days and the bad days, and someone who wants to grow old and grey with you.”
–Quoted from 3am Thoughts
Who I am is largely a credit to this rewarding relationship.