Do my actions match my words?
They DO. But…I’m very careful about what I say out loud. There’s a certain power that dreams–shared and spoken aloud–have in my life. A few of my biggies have been completing my master’s degree, adopting my kids, running a marathon. I committed and then took small, methodical steps to work toward the goal. I am slow and steady. I believe in planning your work and working your plan.
I love it when I am working toward a goal. Big goals public goals are easiest. It’s much harder for me to walk the walk in the little, more private, things. I believe in making my bed and walking Stella every morning, shining my kitchen sink reading to my kids every night. Many years ago I read an inspirational book called Living a Beautiful Life. I was inspired to do the little things that add up to the kind of life I want for myself.
Right now I’m struggling to incorporate…re-incorporate DAILY meditation into my life. I believe in the power and positive benefits of meditation. I love the calm I gain…the focus and the clarity that just IS when I am in a regular practice of meditation. I preach this to my kids. I read practical books to give me insights like Just Sit: A Meditation Guidebook for People Who Know They Should But Don’t. I have gone through months when I have regularly sat and gotten my zen on every day.
But then something happened. My routine changed…probably the school year stated and I fell into a new rhythm–one WITHOUT daily meditation. Starting a new school year doesn’t stop my other routines, I brush my teeth every day and make myself a protein shake for breakfast. I do lots of activities religiously and I don’t cycle on and off. What is different about mediation? Are the effects not as annoying as hunger, not as pathetic as Stella’s patient waiting, not as disgusting as rotten teeth? I love accomplishment and routine, maybe I haven’t linked my ability or inability to accomplish to my ability or inability to meditate. Maybe that is what is holding me back from the next series of goals that loom unfulfilled in my future?
I have this slow cycle of regular mediation practice followed by 0 practice. Whatever the excuse, its time to get back and practice what I preach. There. I think I’ve just said it out loud.