I sat down at my desk and opened my daily calendar. Suddenly it hit me. Today is April 4, 2019, and I am turning 70 years old. Most of the people I know, who are my age, seem to have their act together. Several friends own lovely cabins up North. People I graduated from High School with have substantial pensions and retirement funds. Others have retired and are traveling and seeing the world. I always thought I would be enjoying these things too. Instead, I was still working at the bank and as much as I enjoyed helping others reach their goals, working at the bank was no longer one of mine.
70 years old. What was next? Was this the end or the beginning? I often have stayed “too long at the dance” because I felt I had to be responsible and dependable. As I thought over the past many months, I realized that the joy had gone out of my days. I was trying to be what everyone else wanted me to be and needed me to be.
I have often asked myself what I want to do for myself “when I grew up”? What I didn’t want to be doing was always easier to come up with.
It was time. Time for a shift. Time for more freedom. It was important to examine the things I enjoy doing and deciding how these things could come onto the main stage of life. Time for honesty. Time to give up excuses. No more blaming anyone but myself for past choices that didn’t work out, before it’s too late.
The next chapter must begin now. Clarity comes to me in pieces. I love to write. Where could that take me? My voice-over work is joyful. Why did I stop? Where did my crisis of confidence come from?
Time to grow a thicker skin and ask, “Has anyone been successful doing the things I truly want to do?” If yes, then why not me?
….to be continued.
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