In our family, we all like to help each other with projects, especially home projects. Just one word of warning. If Sandy is creating be sure you understand the parameters of the project. We were asked to help wallpaper Michelle’s bathroom. That request sounded tame enough. Right??
The day that I’m writing this is exactly 8 weeks until June 1st.
June always feels like the beginning of summer to me. Summer..sleeveless shirts, shorts, sandals (read no more covering up with turtlenecks, sweaters, or fleecy leggings). I’ve used these items to camouflage my fluffy body for a few months. Putting on weight happens soooooo effortlessly. I weigh myself every Monday (mostly) and watched the numbers creep up, pound by pound, each week. I wasn’t trying to lose weight, just trying to stay the same. But I was struggling.
You know when you’re struggling.
Slogging along in life.
You can smile at your neighbors. You take out the trash on Fridays and make sure your family is fed. Brushing your teeth happens. But you lose touch with yourself. There is no bandwidth, no energy to do what makes you feel good and be healthy. I was in this place for about 8 weeks after Christmas and through February. Here is what I’ve learned if you want to gain 8 pounds in 8 weeks:
Livin’ the Couch Potato Life
Don’t exercise! In so many magazines and blogs I’ve read recently, I’ve heard about how you can’t easily lose weight by exercising. But let me tell you, you sure can gain weight if you don’t. I regularly walk each morning with Stella, and now our puppy Evie. But have you tried to exercise or do yoga with a puppy? I wrote about my daily routine here. But sometimes you just don’t FEEL like exercising. So I’ve been walking and when I get home, there is just so much to do. Breakfast, writing, homeschooling, making the bed, cleaning the grout on the kitchen floor…
Carbs are Your Friends
Eat carbs like a teenage boy. I have a husband, two teenage sons, and a daughter who dances 8+ hours a week. Carbs are staples in our kitchen. When I’m feeling tired, meals are served with pasta, rice or bread. (Last night, we had spaghetti for dinner and I not only ate several slices of warm, soft, chewy Italian bread, but I slathered sweet butter on each slice…yum!)
Drink alcohol daily. I love going to my parent’s house. Dad makes the best Brandy Old Fashions–sour, not sweet. (I got him this gift last Father’s Day and I have really enjoyed it!) Since my one son just got his driver’s license and needs practice, we go over and I have a couple of drinks EVERY night…I’m not driving…right?
I’m even having a hard time writing this. I think I may be having an anxiety attack at this very moment. I am serious about how I put on the weight, but I’m not genuine about having neutral feelings about the gain.
You see, no one but me knows that I’ve put on a few pounds. I don’t look a lot different, but I FEEL different (and not in a good way). I’m stiff, my arms feel weak. There is a bike tire around my middle. I notice that it’s harder to cross my legs when I’m sitting in a chair.
Just 8 little pounds and all this fuss?!? It’s just a symptom of a larger problem, really. I’ve lost sight of myself, not taking care of ME. I’ve gotten wrapped up in the day-to-day and everyone else’s needs. Can you relate?
I’m wearing yoga pants and athletic shoes so I must be burning calories, right?
Well, we have exactly 8 weeks until the “beginning” of summer. Let’s walk a little more, ditch the sugar, and say no to flour.
Are you still with me?
Let’s drink lots of water and have some “come to Jesus” time with veggies and leafy greens!
That’s my plan. Check back on June 1st to see how well I fared.
What do you do when your an active woman with a full life and your body starts to fall apart? Well I made an appointment to see my primary care physician…
At the office visit, my doctor informed me that that I no longer needed a mammogram, papsmear, or colonoscopy. I found this interesting so I asked, “Why is that?” He skirted around the question, but I guessed, “You mean I am just too old?”
Well, the fact is, say…if cancer is detected, I am actually too old to go through the process of working on a cure or whatever….
Midlife: That time in your life when you finally get your head together and your body starts to fall apart!
Let that sink in a moment.
That made me feel, kind of, sort of WEIRD.
I never thought that when you got older you kind of just let things go since they are going to go to hell anyway. I guess I’m just not quite ready for that mindset.
So are we just supposed to die young? It seems to me that our bodies are set to work until a certain age and then they seem to fall apart. (I seem to have gone past the life expecancy of my right knee!)
I have come to the conclusion that the reason the life expectancy of people years ago was much younger was because the body parts are for a certain age. If you have to deal with worn out knees, painful hips, or other decrepid joints, it just really takes the life right out of you.
I had been doing really well–physically, that is. (We won’t talk about mentally.) I love to exercise–mostly walking with my dog, Emma. Well, I loved to when I had a knee that actually worked.
But you want to know what is so hard about this whole situation? I don’t want to be “layed up” for weeks and weeks! I have always prided myself in being in fair shape. But now that I have reached the ripe old age of xx, o.k. 76, I am really bumbed out about this because I don’t have the time or the patience to have a down time, or a recoup time. My life has to go on. as. it. is.
If you look around, you will see people with canes, walkers, wheel chairs. That is because their longevity has run out and they are spending a lot of time and money just trying to keep their muscles, joints and bodies working.
I now understand, but don’t want to believe it.
So, here is to one knee replacement, with another one to follow. Onward you old body. You need to keep up with my wants and my desire to keep active and enjoy life.
So, if you ever find yourself in a similar position, your body seems to be ready to leave the party (and way too soon for the rest of you)…suck it up! Do whatever it takes to make your body do what it takes to keep up with your active lifestyle.
I remember driving with my mom in the passenger seat. I might comment on a pretty house. She answered me with silence.
When I asked my mom for her opinion on how a new dress looked on me, she would reply with “I wonder what it would look like on me?” She wouldn’t answer my question.
If I asked for her opinion about a new couch or a new pair of pillows for the living room, she would only respond to my question by asking, “What do you think?” She WOULD NOT add her 2 cents worth.
Opinions. I hated that my mom had NONE. (It still pisses me off and she passed away almost 20 years ago).
Now I am an older woman and I don’t want to be voiceless. I want others to ask my opinion and value my thoughts. I have experience, damn it, and life has taught me a thing or two.
You go through life with your kids (as babies, toddlers, and young children…and they adore you! Then they become more independent, but still need you and start growing into their own. When they become “tweens” and teens, the change begins. This is not a fun period of life for a lot of parents of teenagers, as you begin to feel that you are viewed as out of touch. They know everything and work very hard to show this to you. Actually, the fact is this is when they are the dumbest. (This must be true as I read it on the internet!!)
Fortunately, when your children become twenty-something adults, they seem to love your opinions, some of your tastes, and are usually, you see I say (usually), fun to have around.
Then, when your children have children of their own, they become your friends and you love to be around them. Grandparents are VERY valuable!!!
Then, something happens, they bring around their friends. They have fun talking and sharing ideas with each other. Since you have been having a good time with your child/children you feel justified to share in their conversation. (Especially if they are on your domain.)
Well, guess what, I have discovered that some of their friends think you are a total uneducated, unworldly, and just plain boring person! What?!? I have gotten the feeling, somehow, that I am “in the way”, an obstacle to navigate around.
The result…people either ignore your insightful comments or ignore you completely. I’ve gotten this look that says, “We were talking…who are you and what do you know about anything”?
I’ve seen several articles over the years about the “invisibility” of older people, especially women. See here, here, and here.
If you are lucky you might even get an opportunity to share a thought or experience. After you ponder this idea, god forbid, you think your opinion must be needed or even appreciated. Well, think again. You must have happened to have been included because you probably heard the conversation, by accident I’m sure, and thought surely they wanted your opinion. Don’t kid yourself. This is not the case. The proof is when you are told, “I knew I shouldn’t have shared this topic with you.” So much for being included.
I had a mother who never gave an opinion. It seemed like It made me think that she must not be very smart since she never expressed herself. Well, guess what, I now know why. She just got shot down so many times that she decided it wasn’t worth it. So she just gave up.
On the other hand, my mother-in-law gave opinions when asked (usually not what you wanted to hear), but everyone loved her for it. One of my favorite memories of her when I asked her for her opinion about a rustic mirror that I put above my sofa. Her response? “I think it is the stupidest looking thing I have ever seen!” On other occasions, she would reply with, “Well, YOU have to live with it.” She shared her unvarnished opinion with heart and an indifference to whether you would agree or not. It still makes me giggle when I think of the vehemence with which she shared many opinions.
Well, guess what? This old senior citizen will never shut up, so get used to it. Somewhere there has to be someone that likes my opinions and wants to listen to some very worthy and worldly advice. I want to be heard and my opinions appreciated by people over the age of four!!!!.
So what is the solution? Do you have a suggestion? I am not going to give up who I am. I am going to continue to express my opinion. My mom lost her voice when it wasn’t valued. I don’t want that to happen to me…
While we are all trying to improve ourselves and make the most out of our lives, one thing that we must keep in mind is to be true to yourself. Following what society expects or desires you to be or to look like or to accomplish does nothing for you if you don’t agree with those expectations. All you end up doing is frustrating yourself. Here are 5 things to consider when trying to fit into society’s expectations and also be true to yourself.
Meditation is supposed to be a wonderful way to relax, come to terms with your inner self, help relax your body, help your mind focus, blah, blah, blah.
Well, you know what? I have found meditation to be a huge waste of time. I have tried, really, I have tried!
Come on inner peace…I don’t have all day!
(I know people around me would sa I HAVEN’T really tried,(see here) but that is just not true.)
My introduction–and conclusion–to meditation was a couple of years ago. I went to a meditation workshop with my sister. Inside a church, on a Saturday was the destination for the day (ALL day mind you).. We were to sit in a pew, a hard pew at that. To begin our day, there was a speaker for a short time. Then we were to sit. and. meditate. This consisted of clearing our minds, relaxing, centering (this means controlling and balancing yourself), not talking, sitting quietly, and, well, MEDITATING!!!!
So…I have a hard time meditating. It was a BEAUTIFUL, mild, sunny day in January for that workshop. The fresh snow was pearly white, and it was just a gorgeous winter day.
We were supposed to sit and be quiet for a whole morning, afternoon, AND into the night! I just couldn’t do it. Sometime in the early afternoon I told my sister I had to get outside or I might crack up, or at least have a nervous breakdown. My energy level was at a high, I needed to move and do something, anything, and I felt like I would run a marathon.
Unfortunately, when I try to meditate my brain just won’t shut off. I understand that the goal was to develop my psychological well-being. Its a calming thing to do. Unfortunately, to me, it felt rstless, like I was wasting time. I would rather do just about anything other than just sitting,immobile, trying to clear my mind.
Give me a book, that would work.
Paint a wall, that would work.
Weed a garden, yes, that would work.
I guess I will have to call one of these activities my type of mediation.
When my youngest kid left for college this past fall, we went through some significant homesickness. She has always been my “velcro” kid and loves to be home and a part of things. There were a lot of tears and feelings of “I don’t want to go” happening. As a parent that likes to always see her kids happy – this broke my heart. I didn’t know how to help – so I resorted to the Internet to guide me in what to do. After reading a few posts – I decided on my own methods.
When I was growing up, I always thought relationships had to be 50/50. Give and take needed to be equal or the relationship would not succeed.
In reality, what I discovered was that relationships almost always consist of an unequal number of contributions. If one person is having a great day, they might contribute 80%. If the other person was having a bad day or a troublesome day, their contribution might only be 20% or less. The goal was to have the total equal to 100%. Unfortunately, that didn’t always happen.
The first day of spring this year is just around the corner. And that gets me thinking about…”Spring House Cleaning”! Crazy, I know. Isn’t this an antiquated activity? I remember when some of the most beautiful spring days were dedicated to emptying out one room of a house at a time. Then we spent days cleaning windows, washing walls, scrubbing floors, shampooing carpets, organizing drawers, sorting out closets, you get the idea. We used to basically clean the whole damn house, from top to bottom, one room at a time. Continue reading →
Almost 7 years ago, we began by introducing ourselves, “Sidetracked Sisters are Sandy & Judy (sisters) and Lisa & Michelle (sisters). We are 4 sides of the same coin…(hmmmmm – how is that possible?). Some say we are very much alike, yet others say we are as different as they come. We are family and LOVE to torment each other.”
But you probably know that already if you’ve been following us for a while.
Sidetracked Sisters started as a home-based crafting group. After several years, we began writing our blog where we shared thoughts and 178 writings on random topics.Continue reading →
Here are six tips for having a good relationship with your mother-in-law.
Doris wasn’t just a mother-in-law, but a fabulous friend. Personally, I feel she had quite a bit more to overlook in me in the beginning as I was selfish, opinionated, and just plain stupid. Example – I had my second child and was not up to par. It was spring and, of course, flower planting time. I being the perfectionist (and this is where stupid and selfish comes in) did the unthinkable… To be nice she planted a peachy/pink bed of petunias in an area where I would usually put, I think, red. Would you believe that when I felt up to it, I actually replaced her petunias with my preferred color? When I think of that today I just cringe. She never said a word, but I’ll bet she was not impressed with me.
Tip 1 – Be thankful for the little things they do for you and be gracious
When my husband and I started going together we were of different religions. I was with a girlfriend that was Lutheran, the same as my mother-in-law, and she said to me. “Why doesn’t Art find a nice Lutheran girl to date?” At the time I was appalled. Today I think it is pretty funny as later in life I turned to Lutheran and she turned to the religion that I had been for her second husband.
Tip 2 – Don’t sweat the small stuff. There is always tomorrow and things change
The two of us came from entirely different backgrounds. She was a farm girl and I was a city brat. Her taste was totally different than mine and we had a good time teasing about my exotic, or just plain different taste than hers. One time after putting up a half-moon mirror in my family room I asked her what she thought and she replied, “I think it looks totally stupid.” O.K. then!!! I had grown up enough by this time to actually laugh it off and I still have that totally stupid mirror still hanging in my family room.
Tip 3 – Appreciate true honesty and don’t take it personally
She was always there when I needed her, or just a phone call away. She actually got a warning ticket for speeding on Center Street to come and wash my kitchen floor. I was getting ready for one of the girl’s weddings and she thought I could use some help. The officer asked her where she was going in such a hurry, 50 in a 25-speed zone, and she said to wash my daughter-in-law’s floor. He gave her a warning, but I’ll bet there were a few laughs down at the station after that. I hope none of them knew me so as to judge me, expecting this poor older lady to wash my kitchen floor?.
Tip 4 – Appreciate the things they do for you even if it is not necessary
When I planted my perennial garden I worked during the day and had to get my plants in after dark for some reason. My mother and mother-in-law sat on logs in my backyard with flashlights to help me see what I was doing. My backyard neighbor had to hang over the fence in the morning to see what the hell was going on.
Tip 5 – Appreciate the big things they do for you
I could go on and on. She has since passed on and I miss her terribly. I miss our late evening gab sessions on the phone. Her stories that went on and on, and her being there for me was so enjoyable. Sure, she made me a little crazy sometimes, but I learned to overlook her differences and she overlooked mine. When she told me that I was more like a daughter to her than a daughter-in-law that was the ultimate compliment.
Tip 6 – Enjoy their differences and learn from them
They seem to have a book of knowledge that they love to share. Remember that they also compete with your own mother on most occasions and also learn how not to tread on toes.