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Cure for a New Year’s Resolution – Get a Dog
How to keep your New Year’s Resolution:My thought for my resolution was to get a dog. My resolution was to walk. I needed inspiration and a really good reason to get out there and get my buns moving.
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To Do or Not To Do (A New Years Resolution Story)
Me – Then
Me – Now Every year I plan out New Years resolutions to follow and every year, like so many others, I fail to follow my plan after about 2 weeks. I don’t know what it is or why that happens, but it’s like clockwork.
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What’s So Special About a Silly Apron?
Did you know that there is a day dedicated to “aprons” (November 24th)? I couldn’t help but reflect back on a very special apron that I have. I really don’t usually wear an apron, but way back in the day–like 1961–I was going with a guy (he is amazingly, still, my husband today) that had a surprising skill that changed the way I will forever view the humble apron.
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Midlife MasterClass–Trailer
You will be able to tune into the podcast beginning January 2022. I’m starting a podcast called “Midlife MasterClass”.
A couple of weeks ago I asked for help in choosing between two podcast covers. One cover was a bold graphic design and the other was more personal with a picture of me. The overwhelming choice was the more personal picture. Thank you to everyone who commented and messaged me with encouragement.
Now I’m on to phase 2…the trailer for my podcast.
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Starting Over (One More Time!)
I thought my time for “starting over” had passed. That idea turned out not to be true. At the end of April, I went back to work. I decided to re-evaluate what I was doing. Retirement was great and yet I felt the need to fill some gaps. This time, I chose a completely new field. It was the right thing to do. My work was going well. It was time to stop the drain on my retirement funds and to add a new purpose to my life. -
Are Grandparents Obsolete?
Women over fifty (and of course, men also), are all so excited with the prospect of being grandparents. I go along with this as it gives us a second chance, or tries to make up for some of the mistakes that we made with our children. Most of us were probably young and did the best we thought we could, but as our children will most often advise us we often screwed up at some point. -
Gray or Nay?!
I have been dying my hair since, I don’t know, about fifteen (I think). It feels like I HAVE always colored my hair and WILL always color my hair. However, it seems like I have been fighting with my daughter, Lisa, for years about the whole concept of “going gray”. She fears that I am continuing this procedure way past the time it is cool or attractive for me. I believe she SHOULD continue to dye her hair.
The question is, when is the proper time to just let it go gray? (Hopefully, when I say gray I mean a wonderful shade of white/silver-gray that complements my features, brings out the green in my eyes, gives me perky breasts, makes me look 10 pounds lighter, lengthens my legs …)
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Talking to Yourself
Last week, half of the sisters were out of town, so Lisa and I met one on one. These are rare occasions since we both have commitments that keep us very busy and out of trouble. I was thinking about how pleasant our visit was and then I got sidetracked (surprise, surprise).I realized as I thought back, that during our visit, I was sending myself very negative messages about guess who? ME. I have a wonderful relationship with my husband, my son, my sister and her husband, my nieces and their families, and my stepdaughter and her family. Sadly, the worst relationship I have seems to be with myself.
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My “Hot Tub Rules” for Underwear
Opening the top left drawer of my dresser in the bedroom, I need a fresh pair of underwear. However, the drawer is filled with so many items besides the needed unders. This is where I store 1/2 ream of printed emails that my husband sent to me in the year before we got married. It holds 18 old mother’s day cards from my three children, 8 bibs from races that I’ve run and 4 metals from three half-marathons and one full marathon that I ran, and 12 multi-colored headbands.
At first glance, it holds everything EXCEPT underwear. Do I not own underwear? Do I even wear underwear?Have you ever given any thought to the idea that underwear should be considered when making a commitment to yourself about self-care? Well, let me tell you a story…
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Faith
Where do you do church?
How should a church look?
These seem to be two very controversial questions lately. Especially after COVID, where we have all been confined to our homes, apartments, (or wherever we might have the fortune or misfortune to find ourselves)…spiritual practice rules are up for debate. -
Walking, Walking, Walking – Keep it Moving
For the past 3 months, my sister and I have been walking the dogs every morning. We are becoming known around the neighborhood as the crazy dog ladies (at least that’s what I think we must look like while walking 4-5 dogs).
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Dress for Success
Then, I went to the pharmacy yesterday to get a prescription for my dad. It wasn’t ready yet, so I had about 10 minutes to shop while I waited.
I grabbed a watermelon and some boxes of Kraft Mac&Cheese that were on sale. I was investigating the spices when someone said my name. It didn’t register that they were talking to me until they said my name again, “Lisa?”
I glanced up to recognize an elder version of a guy I used to drool over when I was 14. Eric was still about 6’5″ and his blond athletic self. He is/was 3 years older than I. (In High School, this seemed soooo important). Now, I noticed that he looked somewhat….faded…but he was still tall, and still blond, and…HE noticed me. -
Update–8 Weeks Later
Whenever I’ve done one of those life evaluation surveys or goal setting or tried to start a new habit, it always feels so good to begin on a Monday or on the first day of the month. I’m not a big fan of January 1 resolutions. But I do like re-evaluations and starting new habits at the beginning of seasons–fall and summer both coincide with the beginning/end of a school year. But this time I’ve gone rogue and set myself up with a public weight loss challenge.
I posted 8 weeks ago that I planned to drop 8 pounds because bulge had crept to my middle and set up housekeeping. Now it was time to lose those 8 pounds. I stated that I would provide an update on June 1st…
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How to Gain 8 Pounds in 8 Weeks
The day that I’m writing this is exactly 8 weeks until June 1st.
June always feels like the beginning of summer to me. Summer..sleeveless shirts, shorts, sandals (read no more covering up with turtlenecks, sweaters, or fleecy leggings). I’ve used these items to camouflage my fluffy body for a few months. Putting on weight happens soooooo effortlessly. I weigh myself every Monday (mostly) and watched the numbers creep up, pound by pound, each week. I wasn’t trying to lose weight, just trying to stay the same. But I was struggling.
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What to Do When Your Body is Falling Apart
What do you do when your an active woman with a full life and your body starts to fall apart? Well, I made an appointment to see my primary care physician…
Midlife: That time in your life when you finally get your head together and your body starts to fall apart! At the office visit, my doctor informed me that that I no longer needed a mammogram, pap smear, or colonoscopy. I found this interesting so I asked, “Why is that?” He skirted around the question, but I guessed, “You mean I am just too old?”
Well, the fact is, say…if cancer is detected, I am actually too old to go through the process of working on a cure or whatever….
WOW!
HELLO?
Let that sink in a moment.
That made me feel, kind of, sort of WEIRD.
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Be True To Yourself
While we are all trying to improve ourselves and make the most out of our lives, one thing that we must keep in mind is to be true to yourself. Following what society expects or desires you to be or to look like or to accomplish does nothing for you if you don’t agree with those expectations. All you end up doing is frustrating yourself. Here are 5 things to consider when trying to fit into society’s expectations and also be true to yourself. -
To Meditate or NOT to Meditate
Meditation is supposed to be a wonderful way to relax, come to terms with your inner self, help relax your body, help your mind focus, blah, blah, blah.
Well, you know what? I have found meditation to be a huge waste of time. I have tried, really, I have tried!
Come on inner peace…I don’t have all day! (I know people around me would sa I HAVEN’T really tried,(see here) but that is just not true.)
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The Emotional Bank Account
When I was growing up, I always thought relationships had to be 50/50. Give and take needed to be equal or the relationship would not succeed. In reality, what I discovered was that relationships almost always consist of an unequal number of contributions. If one person is having a great day, they might contribute 80%. If the other person was having a bad day or a troublesome day, their contribution might only be 20% or less. The goal was to have the total equal to 100%. Unfortunately, that didn’t always happen.
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Lean In to Mid-Life…
I quit my job, my career, that activity that defined me as a person for 30 years. Since I’m over 55, I guess that means that I’m “retired”.
But what DOES that mean? I was doing the responsible thing by sticking to my “chosen” path for so long. Retirement sounds like my grandma who played Canasta with the ladies every Tuesday afternoon.
For the last two decades, I’ve sacrificed my energy to a career that was dependable, reliable, and safe.
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Developing Relationships with Your Mother-in-Law
Here are six tips for having a good relationship with your mother-in-law. -
Move it…or Lose it!
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I Try to Stick to One Book, Honest!
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To Tan or Not to Tan
To tan or not to tan, that is the question!!!
As I sit here with my white legs, white arms, white face, white body, white everything looking like a newly plucked chicken, next to my Hispanic granddaughter with beautiful caramel skin. I love caramel skin and in my next life perhaps I will have that gorgeous, flawless skin, caramel in color. But, today I am reflecting back to the days when we actually tried to achieve, and did, but not without a little (a lot) discomfort and pain. -
Rock Your Hairstyle (for Women Over 50)
I got my hair cut–I mean CUT–right before 2nd grade. I was 7 years old. My mom had just gotten her 1960’s shoulder-length locks updated into the iconic 70’s shag. I loved her new do and wanted to be a grown-up who could make choices about my hair. So after much begging and pleading, mom relented. Thus was the beginning with my love/hate relationship with my hair.
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No Bras Required – Ever!
Age 18 – No Boobs!! Bras have always been a source of strife in my life – being one of those people that really doesn’t require one completely. (I’m the odd duck in my family in this regard)
Look at this picture!! I’m 18 in this picture and you can see – I have NO BOOBS!! Ha-ha!
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Who the Hell Invented Bras?? It Must’ve Been a Man!
Bra drawer of a cute perky teen Who the hell invented bras, and who the hell says we have to wear them????
Who likes bras? Well, I don’t know many people, women, who do. On two different occasions, maybe three, I have gone bra shopping with family and friends, spending many, many hours in dressing rooms, thinking that I have found the ONE. Then a couple of days later I returned all of them much to the dismay of my helpers. As you will note in some other Sidetracked Sisters’ posts I am not very popular in this department.
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Bra Shopping – The Perfect 6 Step How-To Guide
I recently needed a change. I was feeling blah and stale. When I looked in the mirror, my middle-aged face, clothes, and body all looked tired. I smoothed my hands over my face. I ran my fingers through my hair. I looked at my self straight on and sideways. Then I saw it. The “girls” could use a lift. They were looking rather blobby and rounded. I think the terminology is “uni-boob”. I decided that I would begin a mini-makeover from the inside out. That is, clothing-wise, with my undergarments–my bra.
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Shopping for Intimates (namely Bras) with my Sister?!?
Bra shopping is an event that comes along very rarely in my life. Several years ago, I found a bra that fit well and I keep buying the same make and model over and over in different colors but mostly flesh color. I know, boring. -
There is a Difference Between Being a Friend and an Enabler
I have always prided myself on being a good friend, but unfortunately, I had a very bad experience at trying to be just that.
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How Do I Love Thee – Let Me Count The Ways…
What do I love about myself is the question of the day. It’s a challenging question to answer because people tend to focus more on the negative aspects of themselves. I’m choosing to try to be more positive, so I’m actually having a hard time picking just one thing. That will most likely sound conceited to some. Here are a few things that I’m proud of about myself. -
I Was Sooooo Cute as a Child – What a Body!
As a child, my body was an absolute bean pole, skinny that is. I actually went to the doctor as a teenager to get something to help me gain weight. He, of course, thought I was nuts, but gave me some kind of a prescription (probably just sugar pills). He said, “Someday you will wish you were this way.” Boy, was he right!
Then there is my hair. I am old, so to speak, and I can truthfully say I have yet to find a hairstyle that I feel is me. I can only keep trying. I am still waiting for my prime. I think it has come and gone, but one can only hope. Some days, I can actually say “What the hell”, and then others it frustrates me. I think that is normal for most people. Well – it is for me.
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How to be a (Worst) Friend
I am well well-suited to write this post for I fulfill the top three qualifications to be the worst friend…
I’ve always loved being with friends, laughing and hanging with great women, drinking and sharing memories with others who appreciate a self-deprecating story.
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Friends – Both Old and New – I Love You All!
My BFFs Are you the type of person that has lots of friends around you or just one or two good ones? Throughout my life, I’ve had a few different people that I considered my good friends.
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I Love Me – I Love Me Not!
What is something I love about myself? And Why? Good grief. When someone asks me a question like this, my first response is “I have absolutely no idea”. Then when I get quiet and dig deeper, I find a thing or two. -
Want a Friend? Be a Friend!
When I was a little girl, I always felt like I didn’t have any friends. I was raised in a neighborhood of all boys. Play revolved around playing cowboys and Indians and other games that involved me being the only girl. I must say since I was the only one with cowboy boots and a holster set, I often played a lead role. I would pretend to be Roy Rogers or The Lone Ranger. Most of the boys were younger and smaller than I was so they didn’t argue with me. They followed my lead. -
Will You Marry Me?
What is a compliment?This can come in many ways. It could be when you were asked to prom, homecoming, or more exciting a marriage proposal.
I think my best compliment was my wedding proposal. Even though, in my case, it was when we were very young, but, guess what it is still working. Sometimes I don’t know how, but it is still in the work. I often kid that I need a medal, but, in fact, we both probably do. We have figured how to make this union work.
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Compliments vs. Insults
I’ve had a tough time writing this post. I’ve erased and started over multiple times. I wrote it to the end once and when I read it back to myself. I wanted to gag, so it too was deleted.The truth is, I don’t remember being complimented. It is much easier to remember the snarky remarks and yes, even the insults. Compliments? Not so much.
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I AM ENOUGH!!
I’m trying to think of what my best compliment is. Is this an easy thing for other people to come up with? I’ve been thinking about this and I seem to only think of insults that I’ve received. Unfortunately, it’s very easy to come up with a lot of negative comments or insults, but not as easy to come up with the compliments. I think that’s a problem for a lot of people. The negative things are much easier to believe. What’s the quote from Pretty Woman… “People put you down enough, you start to believe it.” and “The bad stuff is easier to believe… ever notice that?”
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Forgive and Forget vs. Confront, Fight, and Fix
I recently read the book “All About Love” and connected with the author, bell hooks, when she said that “Women believe it is a sign of commitment, an expression of love, to endure unkindness or cruelty, to forgive and forget”.I was married during college to a bright and passionate young man. We were married for 12 tumultuous years. During that time, I believed that everything must be done to save the relationship.
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Does Your Talk Match Your Walk?
Do I walk my talk? Do I follow through? Do my actions match my words? Do I do as I say? Sadly, in many cases, I would have to say NO…I feel kind of creepy admitting that because my intentions are always good. If I get down right honest, I often think out loud. I try out ideas like I try on clothes. When I speak my words and I look for reactions. My need to please is strong, so if the reactions to my thoughts out loud are too severe, I may go another direction. -
Practice What You Preach
I feel I definitely practice what I preach most of the time. For years and years, I’ve said I wanted a cottage on a lake. Now, it wasn’t just any lake or just any area, but I wanted it to be on South Lake Michigan Drive in Door County, WI, on Lake Michigan.
I always knew I was going to do this. We didn’t know how, didn’t know when, but it was going to happen. It had to. I put pictures up at work, constantly looked at the availability of properties and there was nothing… especially in our price range.
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Too Much Profanity!
I wish kids today (including my own) wouldn’t use profanity as much as they do. I really feel that there are so many more productive ways to express oneself other than swearing. This is something I strongly believe, BUT…. do I follow thru myself? Not so much.
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Be Careful Of What You Say Out Loud – Do Your Actions Match Your Words?
Do my actions match my words?
They DO. But…I’m very careful about what I say out loud. There’s a certain power that dreams–shared and spoken aloud–have in my life. A few of my biggies have been completing my master’s degree, adopting my kids, running a marathon. I committed and then took small, methodical steps to work toward the goal. I am slow and steady. I believe in planning your work and working your plan.
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5 Love Languages – ‘Chelle
Have you ever heard of The 5 Love Languages? It is a book that I think EVERYONE should read!! I swear by the information in this book!!
Basically – there are 5 ways that people give and receive love.
1. Words of Affirmation – This language uses words to affirm other people.
2. Acts of Service – For these people, actions speak louder than words.
3. Quality Time – This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention.
4. Physical Touch – To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch.
5. Gift Giving – For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift.
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Orange is not for everyone!
All of my life, as I remember it, I have been very aware of color. My older sister always looked so pretty, so for the first many years that I could choose colors, I copied her example. I constantly asked myself why I looked washed out and dumpy when she looked wonderful? -
What color are you?
What color are you? What colors look best on you? Back when I was a teen, my mom and my god-mother took my girlfriend and I to “have our colors done”. Some of you may ask “You had WHAT done?” Well – the process of getting your colors done involves determining what colors look best on you. (Color Me A Season)
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I Take Commitments Seriously!
I was the one in our family that always swore when I got married, it would be for life. I said that I take my commitments very seriously and wouldn’t renege on them. Then life got in the way.
I was so shy in school that I could barely say hello to a boy in the hallway. I was very uncomfortable having a conversation with someone of the opposite sex.
My sister was always popular. She had boyfriends at a young age and handled herself well. She married at age 19 some 55 years ago in July.
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Protected: Getting Used to Divorce
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Is Divorce the Answer?
Just hit the print button. that is what I say to anyone who has just plain had it in their insufficient marital status. I use this jokingly and unfortunately, have used the phrase for a serious situation also. You see, I have worked in a law office for 55 years and have seen so many divorces, I wouldn’t even be able to count. -
My Body Image is a Rollercoaster
There was a day when I enjoyed seeing my reflection in a mirror or in a store window. I think this goes back to when I was 15 or 16. I was swimming laps every day after teaching classes at the YMCA pool. I could eat anything and it never showed up on my hips or anywhere else. I felt great and loved wearing the latest styles. My friends said I was too skinny but I didn’t care. -
Big Boobs and a Fluffy Tummy
There is an old picture of me with a skimpy two-piece bikini walking on a beach somewhere in Door County carrying a big log. Don’t ask me why I was carrying the log. I was probably 12. Long legs, barely there cleavage. I was confident and carefree. That was the last time I was that confident and carefree in a bathing suit. -
Taking Control of Your Body Image
“Come here girls – stand back to back and let’s see who’s butt is bigger?”
“Boy ‘Chelle – you’re built like a brick shit house”
“Your sister sure looks good in that size 4 – too bad you can’t wear something like that”
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Can You Meditate?
We are discussing meditation and all I can think about is sleeping. How do people meditate? Sitting still and focusing on … nothing. Really? I don’t think I could handle that. All I’d be thinking about is what I should be doing instead. -
Overachieve Meditation
This is a topic that absolutely foreign subject for me. Perhaps I do some form of mediation, but I highly doubt it. The time that I could see doing this is during the day. This, surprisingly, is my awake time. That means I have to move around, and find, unless I am involved in a really fabulous book, I need to accomplish something, even if it is walking, bike riding, whatever.
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Sit. Breathe. Be.
I love the idea of meditating. I’ve experimented with it through the years. But it’s never been a practice that held any substance or continuity for me. -
Start Where You Are
I always knew that taking time to calm down, reflect, clear my mind and be open to the deeper thoughts buried within my brain would be of benefit to me. I knew these things and I had absolutely no idea where to start.
Did I read a book, join a group, listen to a singing bowl, hit a gong with a mallet, figure out a mantra???
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Are New Yoga Mats Motivating?
I just paid a gob of money to learn exercises to strengthen my broken wrist, to increase strength and mobility and to rid myself of pain in my knees and hips. This was an investment in ME… Great, right?? Wrong. Once my OT and PT were done, have I continued to exercise? No, not at all. Why? I just don’t feel like it. There is never a right time and I have other “things” that take priority. -
Dancing is Exercise
I feel the need to exercise. I feel so good when I do this, and yet, it is something that
always goes to the bottom of my to-do list. -
Are Your Mind and Body Friends?
My alarm clock goes off at 5:00 am. I go to the kitchen and get a glass of water. Stella is asleep after an early breakfast. I leave my fuzzy fleece pj pants on, slip on socks and my tennis shoes. Sports bra goes on over the top of my t-shirt. (When you exercise with no witnesses, it doesn’t matter what you wear.) On go coat, neck gator, balaclava, gloves and mittens. I call Stella…quietly. She stretches and yawns like she is doing me a favor. -
Exercise Attempts
Every year I plan on jump-starting my exercise habit. Every year I fall short. I would love to be one of those people that loves to exercise, but I don’t know how to get there. I have a treadmill at home, but when I use it, I feel guilty for not taking the dogs for a walk. -
Walk to Downshift
Stress makes me crazy. Literally. I want to sleep the second I get home from work and then when it is actually time to hit the hay…guess what, I can’t shut my brain off! It doesn’t make sense.I wish I could drink and the calm continues. But alcohol just makes my brain depressed and my body tired. Besides that, I don’t need the empty calories..and I wake up in the middle of the night..and I can’t get back to sleep…My brain is on while my body feels groggy and heavy.
So..is downshifting an art? An art that I have a very limited talent for?
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How Does This Work?
How do you downshift or relax after a sometime (most of the time) stressful day, or just an ordinary, could be boring day.I would like to say that I would leave work, go for a nice casual walk, come home and have a wonderful dinner and then relax for the rest of the night. Unfortunately, this doesn’t ever seem to happen, so when I come home after a very stressful day at work, I like an old-fashioned drink, then I love to (weather permitting) sit out in my patio and just read or listen to the crickets and chill.
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Country Roads
Back in 1999, author Stephen King was struck and seriously injured by a minivan while walking on the shoulder of the road near his summer home in Maine. The driver was distracted by his dog in the back of the minivan and was apparently not driving recklessly, speeding, nor had he been drinking. King’s injuries, which included a collapsed right lung, multiple fractures of his right leg, cuts to his scalp, and a broken hip kept him in the hospital for almost a month.
I run every morning on rural Wisconsin roads. Like Stephen King, I go against traffic. I also wear a reflective vest. While I’m on my run, I see perhaps 3 cars. If I run later, mid-morning, that number increases to about a dozen.
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One Little Resolution
The family was at the cottage and the tv was on a local station. Five celebrities were looking back over the past year, they played a snippet of last year’s show…resolutions for the upcoming 2014 year. Did our famous group achieve their goals? (meditation, fitness, weight loss, meatless Thursdays, and book reading)? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Although the book reader didn’t even remember her goal until it was shown on playback, ALL achieved their resolution for 2014. The secret? Well, I believe it is in the missing s. Did you notice the title Resolution(s). Well, the achievable number of “New Year Resolutions” is exactly ONE. -
Shopping Sucks
I think I may be the only person in the world that hates shopping. It totally stresses me out. I can never think of something wonderful to get for the person I’m shopping for. Or if I do think of something wonderful – by the time I actually need to get the present – I’ve forgotten what that wonderful thing is!!
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Flea Market Adventures
We have a bi-annual Girls’ weekend shopping trip that we go on, where all the women in my family (of all ages).
Twice a year, all the women in my family (of all ages) and our girlfriends, go shopping in St. Charles, IL. We started this tradition around the time that I started having kids, so in the beginning, I was either pregnant, nursing, or had a toddler with me. In our family, if you are a boy, you only get to come on the adventure if you are under the age of 3. Once you hit that age, you are banned from coming. Now… if you are lucky enough to be a girl, you get to come as long as you are fun to have around.
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Shopping for Treasure
I go on a junket called “Girls’ Weekend” the first weekend of every October and the first weekend of May. The focus of the weekend is the flea market. There are tv shows about the adventure of “flea marketing”. In the shows, people find treasures, then change them up to resell for a profit. There are magazines dedicated to “flea market style” where market items are used to add bling, pop, or interest to a room or a remodel.
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Tradition for the Sidetracked Clan
Some traditions are too important to break. Girl’s weekend falls in that category. Every first weekend in May and October is Girl’s Weekend for the Sidetracked Clan. Rules are Girls only- baby girls included (or breastfed baby boys).
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Girls Only!!
Girl’s weekend started twenty years ago. Our wonderful friend, Bonnie, who is no longer with us physically, actually got us started. I’m sure she is hovering with us as she would never have missed this chance to shop. -
Can You Do It All In a Day?
What would you do if you found out that you were going to die today? -
Savor Each Bite
If I were to die today… I’m assuming it will be in the evening, I know that this is coming since morning. I wake up and know….
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No Regrets – Just a Tapestry of Memories
I’ve always said life should be lived so there would be no regrets…and still if the moment came that I knew this breath was my last how would I feel? -
I’m Just Not Ready Yet
I always say that “I can’t imagine life without me”. This is a really true statement and feeling. Perhaps we all feel this way, but how can life go on if I weren’t here????
