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Teenage Fashion Dilemma
We, as a culture, seem to be attracted to black and white opinions. We see things as good or bad, flower or weed, Republican or Democrat, yum or yuck, right or wrong.As a parent it’s easy to be labeled as either the “go-to” parent or the “hard-ass”. Between Craig and I (generally speaking) I am the one who is more inclined to say “yes”.
But it really isn’t as simple as that…
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Dad’s Favorite Word – NO
During my childhood, I don’t think the word Yes was even invented. My dad was a salesman during all of my growing-up years. He was the head of the household even though he was not home most of the time. This required any decision-making events to be put on hold upon his return from work. Now, you couldn’t just say “Hi Dad” and pop the question which would require a simple yes or no answer. No, you had to work with due diligence and with a lot of savvy on how to handle a man that didn’t know the word yes. -
No Cookies at my House
It seems like it’s always easier for a parent or a babysitter to say NO to any request from a child. I’ve often wondered why.When I was little, my neighborhood friends and I would play outside and occasionally would go to someone’s house and say we were hungry. We asked to come in and have a snack. The moms always said NO. Sometimes they would hand us a cookie each and send us outside to enjoy it.
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The Downside of Yes
For a long time, as a parent, my first reaction when one of the kids asked me if they could do something was to say “No”. I usually had that reaction because I was concerned about them making a mess that I’d have the clean up or I was worried about them doing something to make someone else angry or other such nonsense. -
Sleeping with the Bridesmaids
This story is on a hearsay basis. In other words, I wasn’t there, but have had this story told to me several times and I think it is pretty funny and is one of my favorites for this family. -
Caught Naked
Have you ever seen a family member naked that you shouldn’t be seeing or didn’t want to be seeing? Well, our family has a habit of seeing the wrong people naked and at inopportune times. Over the years, there have been multiple instances of this. -
Bad Grandma
I always say that since I have become a grandma I seem to constantly be in trouble, or at least get blamed for some happening that the kids get me involved in.I have a rather rambunctious, curious grandson who has always kept everyone on their toes. He is sweet, fun-loving, and as I said, curious and adventuresome.
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Smoking with the Cool Girls
Being a little sister is not always easy. Whenever Sandy and her girlfriends were trying things out, I wanted to try them too.As is often the case, when I was going through this experience, it wasn’t funny. With every telling, it gets funnier and funnier. And now, it is downright hysterical.
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Who Needs Backup Sensors Anyway?
I’ve never been known as an awesome driver. As a matter of fact, I’ve been teased relentlessly over the years for developing ADD tendencies while behind the wheel.
This propensity to ADD while driving has its drawbacks. But sometimes I get into trouble even when I’m clearly 100% focused. like. when…backing up.
“Protective” Barriers
Most recently, I had a day job driving a forklift. I loaded freight onto a pallet and moved said freight to a staging area. On one fateful day, I had a “big and bulky” load of only 2 items. I was “looking alertly in the direction of movement with my body appropriately having 4 points of contact with the lift and using a wide-legged supported stance” as I maneuvered my pallet into the lane. Unfortunately, the load of boxes was blocking my ability to see the barrier rod that prevented people from entering a conveyor area. -
Not a Prima Ballerina
I started my dance “career” at age 4 by taking tap classes. I believe Mom initially got me into classes to help me overcome my shyness. Hiding under Grandma Is’s skirt was where you’d find me if anyone tried talking to me during our errands.Now when it came time to be in dance class, my shyness disappeared. I loved being the leader of our class and getting to be the first one onto the stage during the recital. I never recall having stage fright or freezing while on stage. That never occurred to me.
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First Communion Nightmare
My mom was raised Catholic and she agreed to raise her children as Catholics. The only caveat was that she did not want us to go to parochial school. In order for us to fulfill her agreement, we were required to attend Saturday Catechism classes until we were through the eighth grade. -
Tween Makeover
me, 7th Grade, 1977 I’ve written before about how I had many worries and thoughts about the future when I was young. But I was also a planner. One of the biggest “plans” I had was for my transition from elementary school to Jr. High.
In elementary school, I was a pretty typical kid. Braces, headgear, and rubber bands worked to fix my smile. I took tap dance lessons. In the band, I played the flute.
But I wanted to be different. So I came up with a plan. I was going to have a life makeover! But, of course, “makeover” wasn’t yet a concept.
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Newspaper to the Rescue
April 7th, 1980. I was 9 years old and was heading to Grandma Is’s house after school. Grandma’s house was only 2 blocks from school and I made the journey without any challenges. It was a beautiful spring day. Not a cloud in the sky. At least not yet. -
Save the Pets!
I survived the Beaver Dam tornado of 1980. Someone actually printed up a bunch of t-shirts with this brag–back in the day.
I was riding my bike home from the Jr. High (Middle School) on this fateful day. As I was riding down Mary Street hill (the same hill from this post). I thought to myself, “Strange how the faster I ride, the stronger the wind blows.” It was like somehow my actions affected the atmosphere. They were correlated…
The sky was darkening to the west. The daylight took on a greenish cast…and then the tornado sirens went off just as I rode past the last few houses before turning into my own driveway. Was my first response to seek cover and head to the basement? No, of course not. My concern was for all of our pets.
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The Day That Shook Our World
My husband and I were living in Napa, Ca. Our one-year-old son, Matt was in his eight-sided play area. Our dog, Nikki, was asleep on the bed and Michael had just gotten back from a business meeting in San Francisco.We were all set to watch a world series game between the San Francisco Giants and the Oakland Athletics. It was October 17, 1989. Without warning, the TV screen went black and turned to static. The dog stood up on the bed and looked around with wild eyes. Matt started to cry and Michael, who was concentrating on a business report said “Judy, would you get the dog away from my chair? She keeps bumping it and I can’t type.”
Nikki was nowhere near Michael’s chair. I leaned over to lift Matt out of the play area and got so dizzy, I thought I was going to fall over. Simultaneously Michael and I looked at each other and said “earthquake”.
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Sunny Skies and Tornados
The only real natural event that I have ever been in was the tornado that touched down in Beaver Dam in the year 1980. It was always felt that we would never be subject to a tornado because of the lake effect. In searching for the data on this tornado I note that this evidently is misinformation as there were others mentioned, just not memorable to me. The tornado that I witnessed firsthand happened on April 7th, 1980. -
Worrying About the What-Ifs
You know the quote… “A mother’s work is never done”? Well – I think it’s more accurate to say “A mother’s worry is never done”. When thinking about what I worry about, I start to think that it’s easier to ask what I don’t worry about. -
Worry – A Wasted Emotion
One of the first self-help books I read in my twenties was written by Dr. Wayne Dyer. He discussed guilt and worry as being the two most wasted emotions. He explained that guilt was about the past and worry was about things to happen in the future. Both of these emotions are out of our control unless we learn from past mistakes, rid ourselves of guilt, and take appropriate action to eliminate worry in the future. -
Constant Worrier
Everyone says that I am a constant worrier. To be honest I think I worry so much that I don’t even realize that I am worrying. It is my way of life. I do have a lot of people that seem to need me to take care of them. (I’m just kidding actually.) I read somewhere that worrying is a total waste of time and energy. I do realize this but just can’t seem to let my worrying go. -
Rambunctious Boys and a Mini Me
Is there a difference between raising girls vs boys? I definitely experienced a significant difference between the two sexes. I wasn’t prepared for the discrepancy I experienced as I only grew up with my older sister and never had to deal with boys in the household. -
Matching Not Required
This is me at 4 years old. Yeah, I can still sleep pretty much anywhere, anytime… It seems that lately, I am so tired at the end of the day that I often get into bed–clothes on. I have a new day job that is really intense. when I get home, I shower, do my hair, put on a pinch of makeup, and go take care of dinner. So when I say that I get in bed fully clothed, that means socks and a bra also.
But life has not always been so crazy.
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My Favorite PJs (or Lack Thereof)
I was recently talking with friends at work. We were discussing buying Christmas gifts for their kiddos. They said the latest trend is to buy 4 gifts for each child: #1 something they need, #2 something they want, #3 something to read, and #4 something to wear. -
I Love My Stripper
When I was little a new pair of pajamas was a wonderful treat. We usually got a pair for every Christmas and were always looked for in anticipation. The ones I am referring to are the soft, cuddly, fresh PJs. I never wanted to have them washed because then they would not be so soft and the cuddliness would go away. So, trying to keep them out of the wash was the key. -
Don’t Scare the Kids
I can’t say that I have ever had a favorite pair of PJs. Throughout the years, I’ve worn nightgowns, silk shirts/shorts, “nighties”, sweats, and gone naked. Each one has been comfortable at the time that I wore (or didn’t wear) it. -
No BS Weight Loss
I’ve always had a poor body image about myself. From feelings of being too thin to feelings of being overweight, I have never been happy about how my body looked. -
Red Tray Diet
I have been a yoyo dieter. Throughout my life, my weight has gone up and down and up and down. Not dramatically really. Most people probably would say that I’ve weighed about the same throughout my life. As an adult, my high and low weights have differed by about 35 pounds or so.
But I know when I feel good. I know when my clothes fit and when I feel good in my skin. But that doesn’t mean that I’ve never struggled with body image or dieting.
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Stringbean No More
When I was a kid, I was a string bean. I could eat anything and never gained a pound. The only “diet” I practiced at this time was drinking malts before I went to bed to try to gain a few pounds. -
Where There’s a Will, There’s a Way
When I was in high school and when I got married I weighed 98 pounds. I was always a skinny kid and the word diet never came flowing off of my lips. Who could ever restrict their eating habits? This was a foreign subject to me. Actually, when I was in middle school I had my mom take me to the doctor to see why I was so thin. He prescribed some pills but assured me that someday I would wish I was this thin. I think the pills were a placebo and didn’t do a thing. So, I continued to be skinny. -
I Blame My Dad
When I was in school my family exercised horrible sleeping patterns and habits. My dad was a salesman and because he came home late we would eat after 7:30 p.m. when his mail had to be sent out. This created the schedule for things such as homework being done after dinner going later into the night. I don’t remember being motivated very often to start homework right after school. Why ruin that wonderful free time? -
A Permanently Exhausted Pigeon
At this point of my life, I don’t think I’m a night owl OR an early bird. I know for sure that I’ve never been an early bird. The idea of waking up early in the morning puts absolute dread in my heart. -
Early Bird Wannabe
Here are the grandmas on a “work weekend”. It’s probably around midnight. See one grandma is snoozing and the other is waiting for the party to begin! In college, my mom and two grandmas would come up to Eau Claire and help decorate my dorm room or apartment. Inevitably, we would chat for a while, go out to eat, and begin working on our 10 pm. I would begin to fade at about 1:00 am, and mom was just hitting her stride.
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Night Owl Style
Early morning is my time to roll over in bed and luxuriate in uninterrupted sleep. Sleeping until noon is not my style but getting up around 9 or 9:30 am is. Getting up slowly and putting on comfy clothes is a great start to my day. By this time, I feel rested and ready to accomplish the goals I have set for myself. -
Holiday Traditions
Traditions…We have many holiday traditions in our family. It seems that new experiences and activities continue to be added.
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Weird Habits
When thinking of habits, I know I have more, but these are the 3 that came to mind…Procrastinating, Creasing and Chickees!
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My Wandering Mind
I have this habit of not focusing. This results in not listening or reading instructions and I would like to correct this habit. Have you ever tried to sew an evening dress or skirt without reading the directions? Well, I have done this and I must say it does work out, but not without a few problems that could have been eliminated had I read the instructions.
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That’s Attractive…NOT
I don’t know how or when I started chewing my fingernails, but I remember when I made myself stop. I was teaching. First Graders are germy, have runny noses, and are not overly concerned with restroom hygiene. I decided that biting my nails was unprofessional, juvenile, and just plain gross.But where do you go with that nervous energy?
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Creating a Sense of Urgency
From the time I was very young, I’ve lacked a sense of urgency. I was often late for school, missed my ride to school, and had to walk home because I would put too many tasks into too short a period of time and I would run out of time before I ran out of tasks. -
A Toddler With a Knife
It doesn’t matter if I want to do the thing or not…I still procrastinate. Procrastination often occurs when I’m tired and the activity takes some mental energy.For example, I’m supposed to edit a post about..procrastination…for our Sidetracked Sisters blog…
I love taking pictures, looking at old photos, creating images using software, and posting on social media. But I still procrastinate!
AND my procrastination strategies are SOOOOO sneaky!
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Just One More Chapter
I am an expert at procrastination. I always have good intentions and look forward to accomplishing great things such as getting ready for holidays, special occasions, and just regular household activities. But, I tend to find just about anything else to do instead of what I am supposed to do. Yup, this is called procrastination. -
Laminated To-Do Lists
I am the queen of procrastination. No matter how hard I try or plan to be efficient and punctual, I always seem to fall short. Whether it’s cleaning my house, working in the yard, or some other task I’m not fond of doing, I always seem to find better things to do with my time. -
Wants Before Needs
Procrastination could or should be my middle name. When I was young and my mom was at work, there were certain things that had to be done before she came home. I was home alone and my pastime of choice was watching old movies. The duties I had could wait, especially if there was a Cary Grant or Clark Gable or Robert Mitcham movie on TV. I loved sitting with my back against the ottoman watching old classic movies. I would watch the clock and time it out so I could run around like a crazy person and get my tasks done before mom came home. -
Still Searching
I am 78 years old and to this day, I have not found the hairstyle that I really like. Sad, isn’t it? I have probably run out of time, but I keep going forward trying new styles and for some reason, I end up with pretty much the same one. It might be a bit shorter, or longer, but it generally always seems to end up looking pretty much the same. -
No Turning Back
First Grade It was the summer before Second Grade that I got my hair cut short. I remember loving momo’s new short pixie/shag. Mom warned me that there was no going back when you make a decision to go short.
So go short I did.
Mom actually still has the thick blondish ponytail that her friend Tom cut off (he was a barber) before beginning my transformation.
I quickly realized that I preferred long hair. But as mom warned, “There is no turning back!”
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Short and Sassy
When I was a little girl, my mom would cut my hair. I basically had a short bob with a curl on each side and straight across my forehead bangs. Whenever a special occasion came up, like school pictures or a holiday, mom would trim my hair. If the sides weren’t even, she’d trim a bit off the long side and so on and so on until finally my hair on the side went halfway up my ears. My bangs suffered the same fate. This went on until they were very short and sort of straight across. A disaster to say the least. -
Hair is an Accessory
I kept my hair long up until I went to college. You may think that it was by choice, but actually, it was Mom’s choice. I was forbidden from cutting my hair, probably because Lisa had cut hers, and mom was traumatized from that point on. Even though I couldn’t cut my hair, I did on occasion get a perm in my hair to try to combat the stick-straight quality of it. The perms didn’t hold for very long and I even went to a beauty salon a time or two to get a spiral perm. Those perms worked better than the at-home perms but still weren’t a long-term solution.
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Makeup is Optional
‘Chelle in 9th grade I didn’t start wearing makeup until I was in 9th grade. I never went out to buy my own, but simply acquired it from either Lisa or Mom. I only wore concealer, mascara, a little blush, and eyeliner. At one point, I tried wearing white concealer as an eye shadow, but I quickly stopped that practice because we were at a high school football game and Lisa screeched above the din of the crowd “Why do you have white creases on your eyelids? What did you do?” I was horrified.
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Silver Sparkle Disease
When I was young, my older sisters always wore makeup. I remember thinking that the well-placed makeup transformed them both from pleasant looking to “beautiful women”. -
A Put Together Woman
I have come to the conclusion that makeup is entirely overrated. Just think about the money and time we spend on this really unnecessary act of thinking we look better being made up. I remember when I was dating my husband years ago he said to me that he liked it when I didn’t have so much makeup on. Well, I was never one to wake up with that glamorous glow that the movie stars mostly have. Even when they are coming out of a coma, notice how they still have lipstick on. I can’t even keep mine on for more than five minutes before it is licked or chewed off.
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Comfortable in Your Own Skin
I remember my first foray into the land of makeup…
Everyday Me
Julie and I walked downtown. It was late summer and a new school year was approaching–7th grade. We went to Langmack’s Drug Store (think Ace Hardware, not Sephora) and stood before a wall of pastel powders, concealing pastes, and sparkling creams. Julie chose a pinkish shade of a liquid Covergirl blush. I chose the same brand that was more peachy. Covergirl. The name seemed appropriate for girls shopping for our first cosmetics.
Wednesday, September 25, 2022, 4:24 pm This wasn’t grandma’s lipstick abruptly rubbed on my cheeks to “give me a little color”.
This initial memory is just the beginning of my addiction (a little too strong of a word perhaps) to make-up. You see, I’m one of those who feel almost naked without something on my face. Even during the Covid lockdown, I continued my full-face routine. Every. Day.
I have occasionally tried to go without but always come back.
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Dates to Remember
We all have dates we’ll always rememberOne of mine comes up in September
September 22 was the date that mom passed
The memory of her forever will last
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Work to be Free
Sitting in front of my computer screenTrees outside changing hue
Mindlessly working along
Wishing I were doing something new
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Fun Dad
“I want to be a fun dad,” my husband said.
His eyes sparkled
with tearful anticipation
as we worked to adopt our sons from Russia.
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Love of Springers
The love of a dog is a beautiful thingI’ve had many and they are so special in their own way.
One never replaces the other,
But fills the days with love and endless days of play
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Not Hard To Find
Home on MacArthur Drive The first time I left home was the first and the last. I graduated from high school in 1962, worked as a secretary for the Superintendent of Schools prior to graduation, and upon graduation, then in August of that year, I went to work for the next fifty-six years at the law office. I got engaged while a senior in high school and waited one year to regroup and got married in the summer of 1963.
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Freedom and Jesus
I always knew I would go to college. It was more than growing up, more than the next step…it was freedom!
Actually, I didn’t even know there was an option. It wasn’t until years later that I discovered that my dad didn’t really believe that I would go…and graduate. (I’m kinda glad that no one ever shared that little detail with me.)
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Naïve Decisions
Lake Monona When I turned seventeen, I was reeling from life in general. On Mother’s Day of 1966, my oldest sister passed away. Up until then, my life revolved around her care and helping my mom with her workload.
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Longing for College Life
The first time I moved away from home would be moving to college. I was so excited to make the move, I had planned out my entire dorm room before even getting home from my college tour. -
Wisdom from Mom
Life in my thirties presented a huge contrast to life in my twenties. I had married very young, divorced, rebounded into a second marriage, and divorced a second time all before I turned thirty. -
Cadaver Grafts and Karate Class
Bradley (age 10), Nathan (age 7) and I were all taking a karate class. I thought it would be a great way for the boys to learn some discipline and also burn off some extra energy. (which they had a lot of) Many days, it was a struggle to get them to class, but every once in a while, they enjoyed going. -
Strolling Thru My 30s
Reflecting back, my thirties were very busy and challenging, but all in all, good years. There were a few bumps in the road, such as job changes, purchasing a different home, and a miscarriage. My husband and I each had good jobs, we were both happy and healthy. We were parents of two girls ages five and 10 who were also happy and healthy. -
The Infertility Mountain
I turned 30 in 1994. Tom and I had moved to Sun Prairie to be closer to my family when we began having children of our own. Unfortunately, starting a family turned out to NOT be so straightforward. And that is the theme of my 30s…infertility.
“You have been assigned this mountain to show others it can be moved.” -Anonymous
Here is my “baby” Eli. Before Tom and I divorced, we separated for a while. Within days of him moving out, I bought a dog. We began trying to start our family when I was 27. We got divorced, childless, when I was 33. Then I married Craig when I was 35. More infertility work followed. We got Luka and Kadon from Russia in 2006, when I was 41.
It seemed like the goal to start/have a family colored every event of that decade. To say that my clock was ticking VERY LOUDLY is not overstating the facts. -
The Dragonfly Speaks to Me
Traditionally, we do not choose our spirit animal. Instead, it must choose us. Animals have often held a spiritual significance in our lives. Being aligned with specific animals is thought to exist throughout indigenous cultures. -
A Turtle’s Timid Transformation
I used http://www.spiritanimal.info to determine my spirit animal. The turtle was what I have been drawn to for years. I wear a bracelet every day with one on it. The turtle reminds me to take small, steady steps toward my goals.But apparently, my spirit animal can change. Who knew?
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The Call of the Wolf
My spirit animal is the WolfHaving taken a test to find out what my spirit animal is I was surprised to see it is the wolf. It is stated that these animals are actually very social, family-oriented, and good at communicating with each other. With the use of body movement, touch, eye contact, and vocal sounds, they engage with other wolves constantly.
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Always Landing On My Feet
I think my spirit animal is the cat.According to https://www.spiritanimal.info, the cat carries many meanings revolving around the balance between seemingly opposites, such as inner and outer, action and rest, and light and dark. It’s strongly symbolic of the connection with what usually hides in darkness or the unknown. The cat generally represents:
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The Creepy Black Moon
I lay in my bed mid-afternoon. The orange curtains made the softened sunlight somehow warmer. Bored, my eyelids would slowly close—a childhood naptime–the sweet stuff of adult memories.
But in the evening, the same room seemed sinister. The closet door hid unknown horrors. Under my bed lurked creatures just waiting for me to close my eyes so that they could come out and “get me”.
Even today, I remember the window, through which I could view the full moon.
I woke up one night and lay in the bed, dreading the idea of getting out and having my feet touch the floor. So I lay there. The only thing that protected me was the sheets and blankets that were pulled up tight under my chin. I felt safe, safer with the protection of the layers of cloth.
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Circus Trauma
Circus Nursery
I was 4 years old and had a beautiful circus-themed nursery. There was a handmade circus wagon on one side that my dad made special for me, complete with a canopy overhead. The circus wagon had cute stuffed animals on it of a lion, a tiger, and a bear, among others. On the opposite wall were pictures of those same sweet circus animals. Mom thought she had done such a great job making this cute, sweet nursery, but little did she know… -
Never Quite Enough
I have always wanted to be good, not necessarily the best, but just good at whatever I did. This especially was the case when I would participate in team sports. One of my fears as a child was when being chosen to play games and teams were needed I would never be chosen as one of the first few. This left me feeling bad that I didn’t have the ability or the reputation to be either the most popular or the best at a sport. Consequently, I always shied away from playing team sports. -
Missing Mom
It was chilly in my room. The snow was wisping in through three holes in the storm window and landing on the foot of my bed. I lay in bed and listened for the sounds of the radio or the sounds that mom normally was making in the kitchen. All I could hear was silence. -
The Easy Way Out
College Bound When I was seventeen, my oldest sister passed away. Life as I had always known it was gone forever. She had been the focus in my life for the past nine years.
Suddenly my family went back to life as normal. I didn’t really have a “normal”. My sister and her husband had bought a home and were raising their family. My Mom and Dad began to travel and enjoy each other’s company. I wasn’t sure where I fit in.
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Meant to Be?
Looking back at my life, what is the one decision that I would change if I could?Well, there is one thing that I wish I could do-over. By changing this one thing, my life would’ve taken an entirely different turn. Keep in mind, that I’m very happy with how things have turned out, but I do wonder how things would be different. -
For All the Right Reasons
I am supposed to write about decisions in my past that I would change. To be honest I feel that I have in reality made mostly the right decisions for myself.
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Making the Wrong Decision
There is a 1980 song called “Freewill” by Rush that spoke to my adolescent metaphysical angst about the meaning of life. The repeating snippet that has stuck in my soul since I was a High School sophomore is…
“You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice.
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”
I met my first husband, Tom, during the first week of my freshman year at college. He was tall and charismatic. The leader of his church student group, he seemed so sure of himself. Church leaders trusted him and were molding him to take a leadership role in the group. A confident musician, he sang and played guitar in the worship group during Sunday service. I saw him as talented, smart, and goal-driven. -
There Is Only One Me!
Three words that best describe me are snarky, persistent, and creative:
Snarky
I love to be snarky. Actually, it comes quite naturally. One of my favorite characters that I identify with is the cartoon character “Maxine”. She reminds me of how I think most of the time. Mix in a little more empathy and that is me. I am not a flowery speaking type of person. -
I Can Be Complicated
Three words to describe me would have to be a gross simplification! I can be a bit complicated! - I find myself to be extremely curious. When I’m at a staff meeting at work or talking to one of my friends, I often have questions about what has been discussed or communicated. I find myself to be very curious about the purpose or meaning of what was said.
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She Thought She Could, So She Did!
Trying to use 3 words to describe myself is no easy feat. Do I want to use positive or negative words? I’m currently working on my positive self-talk, so I think I need to focus on the kinder words. I had to resort to asking the family for words that described me and here is what they came up with. -
You Can Do It!
What are three words that describe me…? When you’re working on legacy writing, sometimes you want people to know how awesome you are! Come on, you can do it!!!
For this topic, the Sidetracked Sisters each prepared by thinking of words to describe the others. I even asked my daughter Aubrey to add a word for everyone. Then, when we got together to write, each of us didn’t have to be digging around for defining words, we could just sort, accept, or reject words that were chosen for us.
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Shame on You
Worry, shame, suffering, depression, regret…sucky emotions that I try to avoid in my life at all costs.
A Wise old woman was talking to a girl and said,
“There are two wolves always fighting inside me.
One is filled with anger, hate, jealousy, shame, and lies.
The other wolf is filled with love, joy, truth, and peace.
This battle rages inside of you and all people.”
The girl thought for a moment and asked,
“Which wolf will win?”
The Wise old woman answered,
“The one you feed.”
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Losing Loved Ones
In contemplating what my greatest fear is, I’d have to say it’s the fear of loss. The idea of losing a member of my family is unbearable to me. Whether it’s my sister, my mom or dad, my aunt, any of my kids, or any of my family, the thought brings me to tears. -
Lost Souls in Frames
It is hard to focus on just one of my greatest fears. It seems I have several. But to minimize them here is the first one: I am, and have been terrified of being in an auto accident and dying from the result. This has gone on for as long as I can remember. When I was younger I would actually decline going out of town, especially when my husband was driving, as I was terrified of getting killed in an auto accident. I overcame it for a while, but I must say I think being more aware of my mortality at this time, it has come back to haunt me. -
Storms, Heights, and Aging. Oh My!
When I think about my greatest fear, I have a variety of fears to choose from. I’ve always been terrified of storms. -
Money Will Take Care of Itself
Money is a loaded topic to me. When I was younger, I never really gave money too much of a thought. We always seemed to have enough money to do the things I wanted to do and buy the things I wanted to buy. I had no reason to feel deprived by a lack of money. -
Too Much Money?
To me, money is a “means to an end. It definitely tends to rule the world. It seems everything is about having money, earning money, wanting money, or not having enough money. Can you ever have enough money? It seems not so. -
Piggy Bank Love
I loved my piggy bank. When I was 6 years old, I would pull the plastic plug out of her belly and dump the pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters out onto my bed. Next, I would sort the coins into piles. Then I would organize the piles into smaller groups of 100 cents. I felt rich.
As a 12-year-old, my mom would give me spending money for our yearly family vacation. During the week-long camping trip at Jellystone Campground, I had the opportunity to go mini-golfing and to spend my money on treats and souvenirs. It felt so powerful to have the choice to buy as much ice cream as I wanted–or not. I would walk around the camp store every day admiring the mugs, keychains, and refrigerator magnets. I could buy any of these things. But I didn’t. Instead, I always counted my leftover money at the end of the week and added it to my piggy bank. I felt rich. -
The Love of Money is the Root of All Evil
When I was a little girl, I didn’t think much about money. I received a small allowance which went into my piggy bank. From time to time, Mom would take me to the bank to deposit my money. I enjoyed watching my savings grow and to be honest, I don’t remember what I used it for. Each birthday and Christmas, I would receive money from my relatives and it was earmarked for the savings account. -
My Bucket List in Retrospect
One of the things to do today is to compose a bucket list. Perhaps I have a very simple mind or am very satisfied with my life but as I start this writing, I don’t have one. Perhaps, I could write down my list in retrospect. Maybe because I’m one of the older Sidetracked Sisters, I have already accomplished some of the items that would be on my “Bucket List”. -
The Bucket List: Fill, Empty, and Repeat
I’ve always believed in goals, dreams, and bucket lists. But that doesn’t mean that they are easy for me.
Back in college, I spent the summer of 1985 in Washington DC at a church Youth Leadership Training Conference. Everyone worked full-time and attended activities and training in the evenings and on weekends.
During one of the first trainings, we were encouraged to have daily “quiet time” when we were supposed to read the Bible and pray. One of the goals of this activity was to gain clarity on our life goals.
Unfortunately, God did not reach his gaze down and bestow this wisdom upon me.
I knew that I wanted to finish my degree, get married, and have 13 children. This sounded pretty godly and was approved–as long as I looked to and depended upon my future husband as my head and leader.
Yeah. Right.
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The Hardest Choices
Life is full of change, challenges, and choices. School, college, what am I going to be when I grow up, finding a life partner, divorce, infertility, adoption, work drama, relationship drama, health drama… the list goes on.
Most challenges come and we muddle through to the best of our ability. We don’t see the challenge of a health scare coming, but we rally our resources to research and battle the event.Our kids challenge us with choices and behaviors that we tackle on a regular basis. We talk to their teachers and go on long car rides and try to talk some sense in an effort to guide a nearly adult teen to make “good” decisions.
But the hardest challenges are those we choose. No medical diagnosis or call from the police to knock us back on our heels and force change. The challenge that I’ve struggled with over the years has always been “What am I going to be when I grow up?”
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Protected: Divorce is the First Step
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It Should’ve Been Me
My oldest sister was my idol. I didn’t look at her as a role model because she set the bar too high. -
Who Do You Think You Are?
The best advice I’ve ever given is this: Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken and if people don’t like you, that is ok. -
Center of the Universe
“Who died and made you the center of the universe? Everything that people choose to do does not revolve around you. Frankly, people do as they must.” -
Turn it OFF!!
*Screen time is time spent watching TV, using the computer, and cell phone.
*Research shows that the average household has more televisions than people and has them on for more than 8 hours per day.
*Adults average about 8.5 hours of screen time per day.
*Aim for no more than 2 hours of screen time per day outside of work.
Image from Shel Silverstein’s poem “Jimmy Jet and His TV Set Back in the early 2000s, we would sponsor something called “TV turn-off” at the school where I taught. We would encourage families to commit to one week where households wouldn’t turn on their TVs. Probably 20% of the families participated or tried to anyway.
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Words of Wisdom x 4
I am not one to take advice, but throughout my life, I have actually been given some good pieces of wisdom and I actually took them.
One of the most memorable pieces of advice I was given was from my Dad. I was a teenager and having trouble with my boyfriend, now husband. We were on the phone and I anticipated him cheating on me. -
Snakes, and Piggies, and Dragons…Oh, My
It was spring, 1971. I was in First Grade. We actually had a long enough lunchtime that students could go home mid-day to eat before returning for afternoon classes.
On this sunny, noontime, I was crossing the mowed lot adjacent to our home. Walking through the low-cut weeks, I saw a couple of little garter snakes slithering away from my feet. I quickly grabbed one in each hand and brought them home. Going into the house through the garage, I saw a big cardboard box sitting on the garbage cans. A perfect spot to save my snakes for later! -
Hamsters, Uncle Lloyd and Simple Math
I had been telling everyone in my family for months that I wanted a pair of hamsters. Dad said no. Mom said no and I was frustrated. I was ten years old and I was fascinated by hamsters. -
My Houdini Hamster
Over the years I’ve had a slew of pets including dogs, fish, hamsters, birds, salamanders, crayfish, and cats. My first bird was a yellow parakeet with red eyes that I named Buttercup and my first hamster was a white albino teddy bear hamster (but I don’t remember it’s name).
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And Then There Was Oliver
When I was living at home we had a variety of pets. This included dogs, turtles, fish, chameleons, frogs, hamsters, and birds. -
One Pink Shoe, One Green
To say I love clothes and shoes is an understatement. I actually somehow have two full, down from three closets, full of clothes. One of my closets actually has nothing but jackets which I never wear since I am now retired. I also have a surplus of skirts that I haven’t worn even one for over one year. When I go into a store I never try them on there as I hate to try on clothes. This does result in a few returns along the way, but it is what it is. I have to be comfortable or I will never wear the outfit again. -
Comfort Before Beauty
I give quite a bit of thought to what I put on my body. One of my rules of thumb is that “life is too short to wear uncomfortable shoes”!