Caught Naked

Have you ever seen a family member naked that you shouldn’t be seeing or didn’t want to be seeing?  Well, our family has a habit of seeing the wrong people naked and at inopportune times.  Over the years, there have been multiple instances of this.

Instance 1

I was 18 years old and had just finished my shower when the phone rang.  I answered the phone and proceeded to have a conversation with whoever was on the other end of the line.  The upstairs phone was at the top of the stairway but it didn’t occur to me to cover myself.  I thought I was home alone.  Unbeknownst to me – my dad was at the bottom of the stairs staring up at whom he thought to be his lovely bride.  In horror – he realized he was gazing up at his teenage daughter – NOT his wife.  He quickly moved away from the stairway and wisely did not share this story with me until many, many years later.

Instance 2

Mom had just gotten out of the shower and was walking around the upstairs doing random things – towel around her hair and naked. Unbeknownst to her, Craig (her son-in-law) was in Lisa’s bedroom helping Dad fix the porch railing.  Craig saw Mom and didn’t want to freak her out, so he turned toward the wall and pretended to type on an antique typewriter.  Once Mom saw Craig – she screamed and ran back into the bathroom.  When she confronted him and asked, “What are you doing?!” He just stammered, “Um, I, um, was just, um, looking at this old typewriter.”

Instance 3

The men in the family were at Grandma Doris’s house on a hot summer day putting a new roof on her house.  One of the guys had to use the restroom.  They were in “mid-stream” when Grandma Doris decided it was time to take her shower and she proceeded to walk into the bathroom completely naked.  There was a bit of hollering as Grandma couldn’t move very fast and on the other side of the issue – the one peeing couldn’t exactly stop what they were doing.  

Maybe my family has an obsession with being naked.  Maybe my family just contains a lot of exhibitionists.  I’m not sure of the issue, but you know you are a true member of the family when you see one of us naked.

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