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Third Time is the Charm
Being the “baby” in a family of three girls had its benefits and downsides. My ideas and suggestions about things were often discounted because I was the “baby”. On the other hand, I learned to be flexible and to go with the flow. -
Save the Best for Last
I’m the youngest by 5.5 years of 2 girls in my family. Mom always calls me her #1 #2. Being the youngest had its pros and cons. With a 5.5-year difference between Lisa and me, it sometimes felt like I was an only child. When Lisa was 18 and going to college, I was only 13 and in 8th grade. -
A Toddler With a Knife
It doesn’t matter if I want to do the thing or not…I still procrastinate. Procrastination often occurs when I’m tired and the activity takes some mental energy.For example, I’m supposed to edit a post about..procrastination…for our Sidetracked Sisters blog…
I love taking pictures, looking at old photos, creating images using software, and posting on social media. But I still procrastinate!
AND my procrastination strategies are SOOOOO sneaky!
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Just One More Chapter
I am an expert at procrastination. I always have good intentions and look forward to accomplishing great things such as getting ready for holidays, special occasions, and just regular household activities. But, I tend to find just about anything else to do instead of what I am supposed to do. Yup, this is called procrastination. -
Laminated To-Do Lists
I am the queen of procrastination. No matter how hard I try or plan to be efficient and punctual, I always seem to fall short. Whether it’s cleaning my house, working in the yard, or some other task I’m not fond of doing, I always seem to find better things to do with my time. -
Wants Before Needs
Procrastination could or should be my middle name. When I was young and my mom was at work, there were certain things that had to be done before she came home. I was home alone and my pastime of choice was watching old movies. The duties I had could wait, especially if there was a Cary Grant or Clark Gable or Robert Mitcham movie on TV. I loved sitting with my back against the ottoman watching old classic movies. I would watch the clock and time it out so I could run around like a crazy person and get my tasks done before mom came home. -
My Favorite Halloween Candy
Thinking back to my trick-or-treating days, I have a hard time remembering details. I’m sure we must have gone trick-or-treating, but I’m also sure it was minimal. My favorite candy bar at that time was a Hershey Bar with almonds. I do remember that getting chocolate was the exception to the rule. More common were Life Savers or other less expensive candies. I remember a couple of years when we Trick-or-Treated for UNICEF. This never really took off because the concept was a mystery to most of the households. -
The Smarties Choice
Halloween is fast approaching and a surplus of Halloween candy is appearing in all the stores. How to make a decision about what to purchase for those hungry goblins, ghosts, and scary witches is always a challenge. Well, as most of us over the years have come to realize, we all have our favorites. I happen to love candy corn. I see it on the store shelf and my mouth drools. Unfortunately, after I give in and purchase said candy corn I usually overindulge and manage to get an upset stomach. This, of course, takes the joy out of this selection of candy. -
All Things Candy
I’m a fan of anything sweet, so I think the best part of Halloween has to be the candy! From candy bars to smarties, there are not many types of candy I don’t like. -
Don’t Mess With the Original
I know that back in the day, kids would go from house to house Trick-or-Treating with a pillowcase to collect candy–not even necessarily wearing costumes. Halloween, as we know it today, began in the 1930s with children receiving homemade cookies and pieces of cake, fruit, nuts, coins, and small toys.
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Sports, An Acquired Taste
I grew up in the day when sports were not a big part of a girl’s interest package. I was rather ambivalent about sports on TV like football and basketball. My dad enjoyed watching and I enjoyed spending time with him, so I watched some too. -
I Just Don’t Get It!
Get your own “Just Say No” items by Steven Rhodes at https://www.redbubble.com Anyone who knows me, knows that I’m not a fan of sports. I grew up in a household of 3 girls and dad was not a big sports fan either. I actually try to avoid sports if I can. I know that’s not a popular opinion in today’s society, but that’s just who I am.
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Thank You Title IX
Today girls can be both a girly girl and a chef, a ballerina and an artist, a princess, and an athlete. Life was a bit more lopsided when I was a child, although I didn’t realize at the time how much things WERE changing. I have always been open to liking and participating in sports. It’s just that I’m not that good.
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Sports on a Limited Basis
To say I am not actually a sports fan is an understatement. I think this happened when I was very young. My Dad was an avid sports fan and on his off time from working, he enjoyed watching them on tv or listening to them on the radio. He was not a physical participant, but a chair-side enthusiast. He would actually sit in his recliner watching some type of sport on tv and have another sport plugged into his ear from the radio. I hated Sundays because that was when sports were constantly on our tv. My friends would be going to picnics, to their family cabins, visiting friends and relatives, and just enjoying life. We, on the other hand, were sitting at home because dad had to watch his sporting event. He even had to watch sports when we would visit relatives. I suppose visiting friends was limited to when there were no sports on tv. Like that ever happened! As an adult when I hear the usual sounds of sports on tv I just cringe. I try to share what event is on, but if the sun is shining I am out of there. -
Still Searching
I am 78 years old and to this day, I have not found the hairstyle that I really like. Sad, isn’t it? I have probably run out of time, but I keep going forward trying new styles and for some reason, I end up with pretty much the same one. It might be a bit shorter, or longer, but it generally always seems to end up looking pretty much the same. -
No Turning Back
First Grade It was the summer before Second Grade that I got my hair cut short. I remember loving momo’s new short pixie/shag. Mom warned me that there was no going back when you make a decision to go short.
So go short I did.
Mom actually still has the thick blondish ponytail that her friend Tom cut off (he was a barber) before beginning my transformation.
I quickly realized that I preferred long hair. But as mom warned, “There is no turning back!”
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Short and Sassy
When I was a little girl, my mom would cut my hair. I basically had a short bob with a curl on each side and straight across my forehead bangs. Whenever a special occasion came up, like school pictures or a holiday, mom would trim my hair. If the sides weren’t even, she’d trim a bit off the long side and so on and so on until finally my hair on the side went halfway up my ears. My bangs suffered the same fate. This went on until they were very short and sort of straight across. A disaster to say the least. -
Hair is an Accessory
I kept my hair long up until I went to college. You may think that it was by choice, but actually, it was Mom’s choice. I was forbidden from cutting my hair, probably because Lisa had cut hers, and mom was traumatized from that point on. Even though I couldn’t cut my hair, I did on occasion get a perm in my hair to try to combat the stick-straight quality of it. The perms didn’t hold for very long and I even went to a beauty salon a time or two to get a spiral perm. Those perms worked better than the at-home perms but still weren’t a long-term solution.
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Makeup is Optional
‘Chelle in 9th grade I didn’t start wearing makeup until I was in 9th grade. I never went out to buy my own, but simply acquired it from either Lisa or Mom. I only wore concealer, mascara, a little blush, and eyeliner. At one point, I tried wearing white concealer as an eye shadow, but I quickly stopped that practice because we were at a high school football game and Lisa screeched above the din of the crowd “Why do you have white creases on your eyelids? What did you do?” I was horrified.
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Silver Sparkle Disease
When I was young, my older sisters always wore makeup. I remember thinking that the well-placed makeup transformed them both from pleasant looking to “beautiful women”. -
A Put Together Woman
I have come to the conclusion that makeup is entirely overrated. Just think about the money and time we spend on this really unnecessary act of thinking we look better being made up. I remember when I was dating my husband years ago he said to me that he liked it when I didn’t have so much makeup on. Well, I was never one to wake up with that glamorous glow that the movie stars mostly have. Even when they are coming out of a coma, notice how they still have lipstick on. I can’t even keep mine on for more than five minutes before it is licked or chewed off.
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Comfortable in Your Own Skin
I remember my first foray into the land of makeup…
Everyday Me
Julie and I walked downtown. It was late summer and a new school year was approaching–7th grade. We went to Langmack’s Drug Store (think Ace Hardware, not Sephora) and stood before a wall of pastel powders, concealing pastes, and sparkling creams. Julie chose a pinkish shade of a liquid Covergirl blush. I chose the same brand that was more peachy. Covergirl. The name seemed appropriate for girls shopping for our first cosmetics.
Wednesday, September 25, 2022, 4:24 pm This wasn’t grandma’s lipstick abruptly rubbed on my cheeks to “give me a little color”.
This initial memory is just the beginning of my addiction (a little too strong of a word perhaps) to make-up. You see, I’m one of those who feel almost naked without something on my face. Even during the Covid lockdown, I continued my full-face routine. Every. Day.
I have occasionally tried to go without but always come back.
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Dates to Remember
We all have dates we’ll always rememberOne of mine comes up in September
September 22 was the date that mom passed
The memory of her forever will last
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Work to be Free
Sitting in front of my computer screenTrees outside changing hue
Mindlessly working along
Wishing I were doing something new
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Fun Dad
“I want to be a fun dad,” my husband said.
His eyes sparkled
with tearful anticipation
as we worked to adopt our sons from Russia.
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Love of Springers
The love of a dog is a beautiful thingI’ve had many and they are so special in their own way.
One never replaces the other,
But fills the days with love and endless days of play
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The Grass is Always Greener
When I was a kid, I had so many opportunities for anticipation. I kind of look at it from the standpoint of “the grass is always greener”…You know, I thought others seem to be in a better situation than me, although they may not be. But other times, I just loved looking ahead to what I KNEW would be special times in the future.
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Made in the Shade
When I think about growing up or my childhood, the best parts include the times I had the ability to do things that I felt gave me extra freedom or responsibility. -
Lazy Summer Days
I enjoyed being a kid. I was adventurous and loved to explore new things. One of my favorite things I remember as a kid was the lazy summer days. In my day we didn’t have all the activities that kids today seem to be involved in. My summers were my favorite time of the year. It meant jumping out of bed, pulling on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, grabbing a bowl of fresh raspberries from the garden, and on to my friend’s house. -
Not Grown Up Yet
I remember bits and pieces of being a child and I often wanted more. I wanted to stay up late like the grown-ups. I wanted to decide what I would eat for dinner and what to buy at the grocery store.It seemed like all the big decisions were made by the adults.
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Not Hard To Find
Home on MacArthur Drive The first time I left home was the first and the last. I graduated from high school in 1962, worked as a secretary for the Superintendent of Schools prior to graduation, and upon graduation, then in August of that year, I went to work for the next fifty-six years at the law office. I got engaged while a senior in high school and waited one year to regroup and got married in the summer of 1963.
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Freedom and Jesus
I always knew I would go to college. It was more than growing up, more than the next step…it was freedom!
Actually, I didn’t even know there was an option. It wasn’t until years later that I discovered that my dad didn’t really believe that I would go…and graduate. (I’m kinda glad that no one ever shared that little detail with me.)
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A Turtle’s Timid Transformation
I used http://www.spiritanimal.info to determine my spirit animal. The turtle was what I have been drawn to for years. I wear a bracelet every day with one on it. The turtle reminds me to take small, steady steps toward my goals.But apparently, my spirit animal can change. Who knew?
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Always Landing On My Feet
I think my spirit animal is the cat.According to https://www.spiritanimal.info, the cat carries many meanings revolving around the balance between seemingly opposites, such as inner and outer, action and rest, and light and dark. It’s strongly symbolic of the connection with what usually hides in darkness or the unknown. The cat generally represents:
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Give Me Aladdin’s Lamp
One of my favorite Disney movies is Aladdin. I love Robin Williams’s portrayal of the genie. He has so many great lines and it makes me laugh every time I watch that movie. While watching that movie, I’ve often thought, “What would I wish for if I had 3 wishes?” -
Winning the Lottery
I know, “Winning the Lottery” was not supposed to be the theme for this week’s sidetracked post. I guess it was my turn to break the rules or in further transparency, it looks like I wasn’t listening when the topic was discussed. In my defense, I’ve never been much of a believer in Genies in or out of a bottle or in the Pot of Gold at the end of the Leprechauns’ rainbow. But I have known people who won the lottery. -
Three Wishes … No Thank You
Okay, for some crazy reason, maybe a genie, a shooting star, maybe a fairy, birthday candles, or perhaps a leprechaun unbelievably grants me three wishes.What would I wish?
Now, I have never bought a lottery ticket.
I was once given tokens to spend as part of a weekend package that included a visit to a casino. I gave the tokens away.
So this opportunity will be a real challenge for me. How big or small should I wish? Well…
Health, wealth, and happiness are the first things that come to mind.
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Vibrant ’til the End
**This is a writing. It is not real.**
Lisa passed at the age of 100 leaving her husband of 65 years, Craig, three grown children, their spouses, and bucket loads of grand and great-grandchildren. -
My Early Obituary
**This is a writing. It is not real.**
On a special day in the future, Judy passed away peacefully surrounded by her loving family members and their dogs. Judy made a special request that when the time came, there would be a gathering of all her loved ones. She passed in her orange bedroom knowing that her color preferences would be honored. -
In Loving Memory
**This is a writing. It is not real.**
How do you describe the life of Michelle? She was born on May 2, 1970 at 8:30 am. Being true to her stubborn nature, she was born 1 week after the date she was due. She was going to come out when she decided it was time.
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The Creepy Black Moon
I lay in my bed mid-afternoon. The orange curtains made the softened sunlight somehow warmer. Bored, my eyelids would slowly close—a childhood naptime–the sweet stuff of adult memories.
But in the evening, the same room seemed sinister. The closet door hid unknown horrors. Under my bed lurked creatures just waiting for me to close my eyes so that they could come out and “get me”.
Even today, I remember the window, through which I could view the full moon.
I woke up one night and lay in the bed, dreading the idea of getting out and having my feet touch the floor. So I lay there. The only thing that protected me was the sheets and blankets that were pulled up tight under my chin. I felt safe, safer with the protection of the layers of cloth.
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Circus Trauma
Circus Nursery
I was 4 years old and had a beautiful circus-themed nursery. There was a handmade circus wagon on one side that my dad made special for me, complete with a canopy overhead. The circus wagon had cute stuffed animals on it of a lion, a tiger, and a bear, among others. On the opposite wall were pictures of those same sweet circus animals. Mom thought she had done such a great job making this cute, sweet nursery, but little did she know… -
Erogenous Zones?
When I was in my late twenties, I discovered self-help books. The first book of this type that I read was called “Your Erroneous Zones” and was written by Dr. Wayne Dyer. To be honest, my friends had told me the title was “Your Erogenous Zones” and the title piqued my interest. -
Color Me Beautiful
Back in the early 1980s, a book was published called “Color Me Beautiful”. The inside flap of the book states “Using simple guidelines, professional color consultant Carole Jackson helps you choose the thirty shades that make you look smashing. COLOR ME BEAUTIFUL will also help you: develop your color personality; learn to perfect your make-up color; discover your clothing personality; use color to solve specific figure problems, and more, including full-color palettes containing the thirty shades for each season–pages you can cut out to carry when you shop!” -
So Much More Than the Story
What makes someone a reader?
Doesn’t everyone love stories?
I think I was born loving books. In Beaver Dam, I loved the old stuffy, overheated public library when I was a child. The wide entrance stairway led to a foyer where you could go left to the adult area. Or, you could turn right and go up a creaky flight of stairs to the children’s room. It held a vague feeling of…expectation. -
The Easy Way Out
College Bound When I was seventeen, my oldest sister passed away. Life as I had always known it was gone forever. She had been the focus in my life for the past nine years.
Suddenly my family went back to life as normal. I didn’t really have a “normal”. My sister and her husband had bought a home and were raising their family. My Mom and Dad began to travel and enjoy each other’s company. I wasn’t sure where I fit in.
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Meant to Be?
Looking back at my life, what is the one decision that I would change if I could?Well, there is one thing that I wish I could do-over. By changing this one thing, my life would’ve taken an entirely different turn. Keep in mind, that I’m very happy with how things have turned out, but I do wonder how things would be different. -
Making the Wrong Decision
There is a 1980 song called “Freewill” by Rush that spoke to my adolescent metaphysical angst about the meaning of life. The repeating snippet that has stuck in my soul since I was a High School sophomore is…
“You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice.
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”
I met my first husband, Tom, during the first week of my freshman year at college. He was tall and charismatic. The leader of his church student group, he seemed so sure of himself. Church leaders trusted him and were molding him to take a leadership role in the group. A confident musician, he sang and played guitar in the worship group during Sunday service. I saw him as talented, smart, and goal-driven. -
A Crash Far From Home
So, here she is at the beginning of the summer. It was the summer of 1986. I drove my brown 1972 Mercury Comet to Washington DC for a Church Leadership training conference.
Having my own car gave me an awesome feeling of independence and freedom!
I drove daily to work and felt familiar with the traffic near the University of Maryland, College Park, campus where I was staying.
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On My Way Home
As the rain came pelting down, the car windows kept steaming up. The rhythm of the windshield wipers acted like a hypnotic metronome keeping time to the raindrops and the fog. -
Death of the Red Hornet
When someone says “Have you ever been in a car crash?”, immediately I have 2 memories that come to mind. The first involves Grandma Is and the brown Mercury Comet. -
Cover That Hoo-ha
I’m sitting on a sandy beach towel. It’s the summer of 1978 and I coyly look toward the camera. Although my pose looks comfortable, I am inwardly hesitant and unsure. I feel like my swimsuit is comfortable and fits me. The blue is slimming on my hips and the bold white and pink chevron draws the eyes up. My feminine asserts…my boobs were the focus. But even with this beautiful body in a gorgeous, flattering suit…I feel self-conscious. -
The Birth of My Princess
I had always said that I wanted 4 kids. My hubby said, “No – 2 is fine”. I offered a compromise and said “How about 3?” He again was adamant that 2 was fine. But for some reason, my family didn’t feel complete. -
Little Red Swimsuit
My body used to think the only piece of clothing I owned was a swimsuit. I worked at the YMCA as a lifeguard and swimming instructor. My “uniform” was a red one-piece swimsuit covered by my red YMCA jacket. When I wasn’t wearing my work suit, I was wearing a bikini, or a two-piece suit and sailing or water skiing on Beaver Dam Lake. I always felt proud of the way I filled out my suit. -
A Lifetime of Weight Concerns
Growing up I was always thinking about my weight. I was never happy with what I looked like. As a young child, I was painfully aware that I was so thin. The veins were so close to the surface of the skin that my chest appeared purple. Because of this, I would never wear anything with a V-neck or a low collar to hide this fact. -
It’s the Odd-Ball Things
Both mom and dad did so many amazing things for me over the years, but the ones that really stand out were the ones that dad did. We used to tease mom that it was because I didn’t have any happy childhood memories of her, but in actuality, it was because the things that dad did were the odd-ball things. -
My Birth of My Pumpkin
I was pregnant again and my doctor had told me that my due date was December 13th, but that this was going to be a big baby. I remember during one appointment, my doctor did an ultrasound and said, “You’re going to have a boy and he is NOT shy!” Our little boy was in my belly, arms and legs somewhat outstretched and his privates were very obvious! -
A Struggle for Dad’s Approval
I am a pig-tailed, 4-year-old girl, demurely leaning against my dad’s extended knee. He is half kneeling in some wild daisies beside tall sheltering pines. He is grinning with pride at the camera, my right hand is thoughtfully touching his chin. My adoring eyes are on his face as I take the first bite out of a perfect red apple. It is a 1969 photo of peace and approval. It is the goal I seem to be always reaching for. -
Memorable Firsts with a Memorable Guy
When I was young, I was very intimidated by guys. My siblings were all female and I seldom saw my one male cousin. When I was in seventh grade, I began going to dances at the Junior High School. My girlfriends all had guy crushes and they were always reciprocated. -
Two Wrongs Can Make a Right
Do two wrongs really make a right? When I think of my experiences with Marriage, I think they can. Sometimes, we have omens that we should pay attention to. -
Manifesting the Perfect Day
Engagement–a few months before My wedding was going to be intimate, serene, and perfect. I imagined it that way and worked thoughtfully on the details.
Few events in life have as many deep customs, subtle nuances, and crazy rituals, AND opportunities for things to go wrong–like a wedding.
My wedding day, July 7, 2000, began sunny and bright with POSSIBLE showers later in the day. We were celebrating the event at the Heidel House. It was a quaint, secluded resort on the shores of Green Lake in Wisconsin.
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Details Worth Remembering
For so many, their wedding day is one of the most memorable events of their life. For me, with my swiss cheese brain, the complete details are a bit lacking. I do, however, remember a few details worth mentioning.
Wedding shoes
I was adamant that I would NOT go barefoot at my reception regardless of how my feet felt. None of the shoes I found were anything that I liked, so I found a simple pair of white satin heels and applied beaded appliques. I hate it when brides are wearing a beautiful gown and then proceed to either barefoot or wear stupid comfortable shoes. So – even though my feet were killing me, I kept my wedding heels on for the duration of the day. (My toes were numb for the next week in Jamaica) -
Can Netflix Binging be Considered Self-Care?
I’ve never really thought much about self-care until recently. Previously, I feel like I just did certain things because I liked them. Now, I try to more consciously perform some self-care. Here is a list of the items I’m currently doing to take care of myself. -
Hippy Dippy vs Healthy and Grounded
How do you “self-care”?
Well, the first thing you need to know is “What IS self-care anyway? According to the Googles, it is “doing something that helps your body, mind or soul feel good”.
Hippy Dippy
Oh god, this brings up visions of a bubble bath in a claw-footed tub, a meditation on an Indian-patterned pillow in a sunlit studio, yoga on an open patio overlooking the ocean, and long walks in an old-growth forest. So hippy-dippy, so self-indulgent and unrealistic.
Now, the other day, I was walking on a cool morning along a country road. The road was lined with dandelions. Millions and billions of dandelions. I know Evie and Stella (my Golden Retriever walking companions) thought I was crazy as I slowed down and began to take pictures. Then I reached down to one random flower/weed and plucked it. And you know what we used to do as kids? We would rub the flower under our chin and ask…”Do I like butter?”
If there was yellow pollen on your neck, you did. -
Take Care of You for Me
I have always loved the words “take care of you for me and I’ll take care of me for you.” This is a principle that I had to learn over time. I am a pleaser and often would do things for friends or family to my detriment. -
I Can Be Complicated
Three words to describe me would have to be a gross simplification! I can be a bit complicated! - I find myself to be extremely curious. When I’m at a staff meeting at work or talking to one of my friends, I often have questions about what has been discussed or communicated. I find myself to be very curious about the purpose or meaning of what was said.
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She Thought She Could, So She Did!
Trying to use 3 words to describe myself is no easy feat. Do I want to use positive or negative words? I’m currently working on my positive self-talk, so I think I need to focus on the kinder words. I had to resort to asking the family for words that described me and here is what they came up with. -
Shame on You
Worry, shame, suffering, depression, regret…sucky emotions that I try to avoid in my life at all costs.
A Wise old woman was talking to a girl and said,
“There are two wolves always fighting inside me.
One is filled with anger, hate, jealousy, shame, and lies.
The other wolf is filled with love, joy, truth, and peace.
This battle rages inside of you and all people.”
The girl thought for a moment and asked,
“Which wolf will win?”
The Wise old woman answered,
“The one you feed.”
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Losing Loved Ones
In contemplating what my greatest fear is, I’d have to say it’s the fear of loss. The idea of losing a member of my family is unbearable to me. Whether it’s my sister, my mom or dad, my aunt, any of my kids, or any of my family, the thought brings me to tears. -
Storms, Heights, and Aging. Oh My!
When I think about my greatest fear, I have a variety of fears to choose from. I’ve always been terrified of storms. -
My Bucket List in Retrospect
One of the things to do today is to compose a bucket list. Perhaps I have a very simple mind or am very satisfied with my life but as I start this writing, I don’t have one. Perhaps, I could write down my list in retrospect. Maybe because I’m one of the older Sidetracked Sisters, I have already accomplished some of the items that would be on my “Bucket List”. -
The Bucket List: Fill, Empty, and Repeat
I’ve always believed in goals, dreams, and bucket lists. But that doesn’t mean that they are easy for me.
Back in college, I spent the summer of 1985 in Washington DC at a church Youth Leadership Training Conference. Everyone worked full-time and attended activities and training in the evenings and on weekends.
During one of the first trainings, we were encouraged to have daily “quiet time” when we were supposed to read the Bible and pray. One of the goals of this activity was to gain clarity on our life goals.
Unfortunately, God did not reach his gaze down and bestow this wisdom upon me.
I knew that I wanted to finish my degree, get married, and have 13 children. This sounded pretty godly and was approved–as long as I looked to and depended upon my future husband as my head and leader.
Yeah. Right.
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The Hardest Choices
Life is full of change, challenges, and choices. School, college, what am I going to be when I grow up, finding a life partner, divorce, infertility, adoption, work drama, relationship drama, health drama… the list goes on.
Most challenges come and we muddle through to the best of our ability. We don’t see the challenge of a health scare coming, but we rally our resources to research and battle the event.Our kids challenge us with choices and behaviors that we tackle on a regular basis. We talk to their teachers and go on long car rides and try to talk some sense in an effort to guide a nearly adult teen to make “good” decisions.
But the hardest challenges are those we choose. No medical diagnosis or call from the police to knock us back on our heels and force change. The challenge that I’ve struggled with over the years has always been “What am I going to be when I grow up?”
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It Should’ve Been Me
My oldest sister was my idol. I didn’t look at her as a role model because she set the bar too high. -
Center of the Universe
“Who died and made you the center of the universe? Everything that people choose to do does not revolve around you. Frankly, people do as they must.” -
Turn it OFF!!
*Screen time is time spent watching TV, using the computer, and cell phone.
*Research shows that the average household has more televisions than people and has them on for more than 8 hours per day.
*Adults average about 8.5 hours of screen time per day.
*Aim for no more than 2 hours of screen time per day outside of work.
Image from Shel Silverstein’s poem “Jimmy Jet and His TV Set Back in the early 2000s, we would sponsor something called “TV turn-off” at the school where I taught. We would encourage families to commit to one week where households wouldn’t turn on their TVs. Probably 20% of the families participated or tried to anyway.
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A Little Bit of This and a Little Bit of That
I’ve always been told I look just like my mom. I could never really see it myself until I was about 18. I was doing my makeup at her vanity and she was standing behind me. Looking from her face to mine and back again, it suddenly hit me and I started to cry stating “Oh my God. I DO look like you.” Really nice right? I’m sure mom really appreciated my tears! I don’t know why I cried – I think Mom looks great and always has. I should be so lucky to look as good as she does. -
My One and Only
I never thought I would have children, so before the blessed event, I used to piggyback on my sister’s two girls. Appearance-wise, there was a time when the four of us looked very much alike. We were in a Chinese restaurant in Oakland, California one night. When the waitress approached our table, she looked around at the four of us and said “four people, same face!” We had a good laugh and decided the waitress was very observant.
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On Children
How much influence do we really have over our children?Aubrey and I were at Texas Roadhouse with four other mom-daughter couples. We were talking about random topics when the subject of birth stories came up. Aubrey and I quietly listened to everyone’s stories.
I don’t even know the exact time she was born in the early hours of July 27, 2009.
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Plastic Eggs and Yummy Bunnies
Judy, Uncle Lloyd and the bunny cake Easter traditions for us are filled with plastic eggs and yummy bunnies in all different shapes and forms. Holidays in our family are always chock-full of happy memories.
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Easter and Moldy Money
I remember Easter as being disappointing when I was young. My focus wasn’t on family or food. Jesus wasn’t the primary reason for this season. It was mostly just another opportunity for presents.
I’d get sidewalk chalk or a skateboard and a jump rope…but would be unable to play with these toys because there was always snow on the ground. Once, I got a cute little sleeveless sundress that I would freeze my ass off when I wore it to church. One year I wore a wide-brimmed white Easter hat. I’m actually not sure if I wore it or not, but it had its own drawer for years afterward–never worn again.
When I was a bit older, we would always have breakfast after Easter service at church.
The tradition of decorating hardboiled eggs began when I was a child and continues now with my children. The smell of vinegar at any time of the year brings me right back to this activity with my Grandma Is. Now we go to my mother-in-law’s house to craft our beauties. As we cover the table with newspaper and pour vinegar into coffee cups–the memories come flooding back. -
Easter Hunting
There are lots of things to love about Easter – from the candy to the family dinner, but my favorite part has always been the Easter egg hunt. -
Snakes, and Piggies, and Dragons…Oh, My
It was spring, 1971. I was in First Grade. We actually had a long enough lunchtime that students could go home mid-day to eat before returning for afternoon classes.
On this sunny, noontime, I was crossing the mowed lot adjacent to our home. Walking through the low-cut weeks, I saw a couple of little garter snakes slithering away from my feet. I quickly grabbed one in each hand and brought them home. Going into the house through the garage, I saw a big cardboard box sitting on the garbage cans. A perfect spot to save my snakes for later! -
Hamsters, Uncle Lloyd and Simple Math
I had been telling everyone in my family for months that I wanted a pair of hamsters. Dad said no. Mom said no and I was frustrated. I was ten years old and I was fascinated by hamsters. -
My Houdini Hamster
Over the years I’ve had a slew of pets including dogs, fish, hamsters, birds, salamanders, crayfish, and cats. My first bird was a yellow parakeet with red eyes that I named Buttercup and my first hamster was a white albino teddy bear hamster (but I don’t remember it’s name).
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Sister…I’m Going West!
It was a beautiful spring afternoon in 1975. My 5-year-old sister, Michelle, and I trekked across the freshly plowed field towards the rock hill on the edge of our grandparent’s acreage. A warm wind was blowing and we stood together on the top of the hill. Without much thought, I began walking down the “backside”. For some reason, Michelle asked me where I was going.
“West”, I answered. “I’m going west!” I repeated.
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Torture, Arguments and Reactions
We heard Dad taking the stairs two at a time as he ran up to find out why we weren’t asleep yet. I had a room of my own. My bed was a roll away and, on this night, we were pretending it was a pirate ship. The bar connecting the bed when it was folded up, was the ship’s wheel. We were laughing and pretending and having a great time. I was facing forward and, in my imagination, I was guiding our ship through rough waters. -
My Sister – My Hero
My sister was always my hero growing up. This is not a new thing for me to reveal by any means. She played the flute, so did I. She was a cheerleader, so was I. She went to UW Eau Claire, so did I. There are many more examples, but you get the idea. -
The Birth of My Peanut
I remember the birth story of each of my kids very well. Many people will tell you horror stories about childbirth, but I’m not one of those people. I loved being pregnant and having my kids. I never had a day of morning sickness and each of my labors was pretty easy (compared to some). -
Family–Not “If” but “When”
I’ve always known I wanted a family. When I was in elementary school, I was committed to adoption. At the age of 10, I didn’t want to contribute to world overpopulation.
As college students involved in an evangelical, fundamentalist church, my fiance (Tom) and I discussed–and were excited–about the idea of 13 children! This idea also served to traumatize both sets of our parents.8754457
Then, as a young married couple, we decided to divorce because I continued to be committed to the prospect of raising a child/children. However, my husband’s feelings had changed. He enjoyed and believed a more carefree life that focused on music was more in-line with his needs.
Craig and I When I met Craig, I shared with him on our first date that I wanted a family–but it wouldn’t be easy. He was game for pursuing infertility work or adoption from the very beginning.
You see, I had actively begun trying to get pregnant after 5 years of marriage with my first husband. It was 1992. Like so many couples, we just assumed it would happen quickly when the decision was made.
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Kiley, the Prophet
Our beautiful Kiley was only 3 when her Daddy and I were married. She and I had a good relationship. Her only regret was having to share her dad with me. One day when we were cleaning the glass on the patio table together, she said “Judy, you know you really should have a baby. Daddy has me to take care of and you don’t have anyone!” I laughed and said maybe Daddy and I could share. I didn’t explain that I had been told I couldn’t have children. -
There’s a Man in my Kitchen!
My favorite food memories have happened in the last thirty-five years. Coincidentally my husband and I have been married for thirty-five years.I think I realized that he was the real deal when I learned that he loved to cook. His cooking is his art. Nothing is too hard or off the table of possibilities.
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I Hate Tuna!
I have a serious aversion to canned tuna! The smell, the texture, the presentation… All of it grosses me out. When I was younger, mom would make these tuna burgers that many people will say, sound delicious. I will have to strongly disagree! Even the thought of it makes me want to gag. -
Comfort Foods
As a child, I spent my days with my Grandma Is. She took care of me while my mom worked. We would play cards. She read the “Daily Citizen” newspaper from beginning to end and painted her fingernails her favorite bright red color.
Summer days followed a familiar routine. The tv was never turned on (it was only re-runs anyway). I played with neighborhood kids or worked on my coloring books. The best part of the day was lunch…my favorite.
We’d go into the kitchen together, she’d set a small pot to boil on the stove. While it got hot, she sliced 4 pieces of summer sausage and laid out 3 sweet bread and butter pickles in a shallow bowl. Once the water was boiling, she would carefully and precisely measure exactly one cup of noodles. I would cajole her to make a heaping cup…so she would compromise by adding a pinch more noodles.
Once the noodles were done, she’d dump out the water and add butter and salt before adding them to my bowl. A glass of milk in a pastel metal drinking glass completed the meal.
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Comfort Before Beauty
I give quite a bit of thought to what I put on my body. One of my rules of thumb is that “life is too short to wear uncomfortable shoes”! -
Naked, But With the Right Shoes
I always say I would go naked if I had the right shoes to wear! That may be a slight exaggeration, but I do love shoes. -
No Worries
It was June 1981. I was more excited than nervous. The next day, I was going to the Department of Motor Vehicles for the road test for my driver’s permit. It was dark out when dad and I drove out of town to the DMV to practice the skills I would be demonstrating the next day. I pulled out of the parking lot at the same time that people were entering the local racetrack for an event. Traffic was heavy for our small rural town. I took a left onto the highway and was unaware of the cars around me. I turned into the far lane, instead of the closest lane. Within one minute of my practice, I had shown my dad that I was NOT ready to drive the family care independently and safely. -
Late Bloomer
1957 Oldsmobile I was a late bloomer. When I was in High School, everyone was chomping at the bit to learn to drive and to get their licenses. I’ve always been a late bloomer. I knew Dad wouldn’t let me drive his car and I didn’t have another car to drive so I was in no hurry to learn.
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My Cleaning Mishaps AKA Not Cleaning
I admit to finding it difficult to write about cleaning and cleaning mishaps because I don’t clean very often. I pick up, I organize and I straighten but I seldom clean. -
The Consequence of NOT Cleaning UP
I was so tired that night in 1999. Instead of cleaning up the kitchen before bed, I promised myself that I would take care of the dishes and pot from our chicken dinner first thing in the morning.Later, I woke up slightly and smelled bacon cooking. I thought, “Huh, Craig must be home.”
Still later, I woke up a little more and smelled burned bacon. I got up and walked along the hall and down the stairs. As I neared the bottom of the staircase, a thick cloud of smoke erased the landing.