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Vibrant ’til the End
**This is a writing. It is not real.**
Lisa passed at the age of 100 leaving her husband of 65 years, Craig, three grown children, their spouses, and bucket loads of grand and great-grandchildren. -
Leaving the Party Early
**This is a writing. It is not real.**It is with great sadness that at the ripe old age of 105 Sandy Rettschlag had to leave the party early.
Sandy couldn’t imagine life without her, and now she will find out how sad it is going to be. She always said she wanted to stick around and see how it all turns out.
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My Early Obituary
**This is a writing. It is not real.**
On a special day in the future, Judy passed away peacefully surrounded by her loving family members and their dogs. Judy made a special request that when the time came, there would be a gathering of all her loved ones. She passed in her orange bedroom knowing that her color preferences would be honored. -
In Loving Memory
**This is a writing. It is not real.**
How do you describe the life of Michelle? She was born on May 2, 1970 at 8:30 am. Being true to her stubborn nature, she was born 1 week after the date she was due. She was going to come out when she decided it was time.
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The Creepy Black Moon
I lay in my bed mid-afternoon. The orange curtains made the softened sunlight somehow warmer. Bored, my eyelids would slowly close—a childhood naptime–the sweet stuff of adult memories.
But in the evening, the same room seemed sinister. The closet door hid unknown horrors. Under my bed lurked creatures just waiting for me to close my eyes so that they could come out and “get me”.
Even today, I remember the window, through which I could view the full moon.
I woke up one night and lay in the bed, dreading the idea of getting out and having my feet touch the floor. So I lay there. The only thing that protected me was the sheets and blankets that were pulled up tight under my chin. I felt safe, safer with the protection of the layers of cloth.
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Circus Trauma
Circus Nursery
I was 4 years old and had a beautiful circus-themed nursery. There was a handmade circus wagon on one side that my dad made special for me, complete with a canopy overhead. The circus wagon had cute stuffed animals on it of a lion, a tiger, and a bear, among others. On the opposite wall were pictures of those same sweet circus animals. Mom thought she had done such a great job making this cute, sweet nursery, but little did she know… -
Never Quite Enough
I have always wanted to be good, not necessarily the best, but just good at whatever I did. This especially was the case when I would participate in team sports. One of my fears as a child was when being chosen to play games and teams were needed I would never be chosen as one of the first few. This left me feeling bad that I didn’t have the ability or the reputation to be either the most popular or the best at a sport. Consequently, I always shied away from playing team sports. -
Missing Mom
It was chilly in my room. The snow was wisping in through three holes in the storm window and landing on the foot of my bed. I lay in bed and listened for the sounds of the radio or the sounds that mom normally was making in the kitchen. All I could hear was silence. -
Scared Shitless
I have done a lot of babysitting in my life. I was never scared or terrified while babysitting or of the dark, until I saw the movie “The Babysitter”. -
Erogenous Zones?
When I was in my late twenties, I discovered self-help books. The first book of this type that I read was called “Your Erroneous Zones” and was written by Dr. Wayne Dyer. To be honest, my friends had told me the title was “Your Erogenous Zones” and the title piqued my interest. -
Color Me Beautiful
Back in the early 1980s, a book was published called “Color Me Beautiful”. The inside flap of the book states “Using simple guidelines, professional color consultant Carole Jackson helps you choose the thirty shades that make you look smashing. COLOR ME BEAUTIFUL will also help you: develop your color personality; learn to perfect your make-up color; discover your clothing personality; use color to solve specific figure problems, and more, including full-color palettes containing the thirty shades for each season–pages you can cut out to carry when you shop!” -
So Much More Than the Story
What makes someone a reader?
Doesn’t everyone love stories?
I think I was born loving books. In Beaver Dam, I loved the old stuffy, overheated public library when I was a child. The wide entrance stairway led to a foyer where you could go left to the adult area. Or, you could turn right and go up a creaky flight of stairs to the children’s room. It held a vague feeling of…expectation. -
The Easy Way Out
College Bound When I was seventeen, my oldest sister passed away. Life as I had always known it was gone forever. She had been the focus in my life for the past nine years.
Suddenly my family went back to life as normal. I didn’t really have a “normal”. My sister and her husband had bought a home and were raising their family. My Mom and Dad began to travel and enjoy each other’s company. I wasn’t sure where I fit in.
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Meant to Be?
Looking back at my life, what is the one decision that I would change if I could?Well, there is one thing that I wish I could do-over. By changing this one thing, my life would’ve taken an entirely different turn. Keep in mind, that I’m very happy with how things have turned out, but I do wonder how things would be different. -
For All the Right Reasons
I am supposed to write about decisions in my past that I would change. To be honest I feel that I have in reality made mostly the right decisions for myself.
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Making the Wrong Decision
There is a 1980 song called “Freewill” by Rush that spoke to my adolescent metaphysical angst about the meaning of life. The repeating snippet that has stuck in my soul since I was a High School sophomore is…
“You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice.
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”
I met my first husband, Tom, during the first week of my freshman year at college. He was tall and charismatic. The leader of his church student group, he seemed so sure of himself. Church leaders trusted him and were molding him to take a leadership role in the group. A confident musician, he sang and played guitar in the worship group during Sunday service. I saw him as talented, smart, and goal-driven. -
A Crash Far From Home
So, here she is at the beginning of the summer. It was the summer of 1986. I drove my brown 1972 Mercury Comet to Washington DC for a Church Leadership training conference.
Having my own car gave me an awesome feeling of independence and freedom!
I drove daily to work and felt familiar with the traffic near the University of Maryland, College Park, campus where I was staying.
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On My Way Home
As the rain came pelting down, the car windows kept steaming up. The rhythm of the windshield wipers acted like a hypnotic metronome keeping time to the raindrops and the fog. -
Careful Driver?
Fortunately, I have been in only one really nasty car crash. I was seventeen, in the car with my boyfriend, now husband, and another couple that was in the backseat. We were at the outdoor theatre on a rather chilly summer night. My date and I were having a dispute so I was sitting where I was supposed to be, by the window on the passenger’s side of the car. -
Death of the Red Hornet
When someone says “Have you ever been in a car crash?”, immediately I have 2 memories that come to mind. The first involves Grandma Is and the brown Mercury Comet. -
Too Little, Too Late
What is happening? To my body that is!! When I was a young teenager I was really skinny. I even went to the doctor to find out why I wasn’t gaining weight. He prescribed some pills. They were probably sugar pills for all I know, but they didn’t work. -
Cover That Hoo-ha
I’m sitting on a sandy beach towel. It’s the summer of 1978 and I coyly look toward the camera. Although my pose looks comfortable, I am inwardly hesitant and unsure. I feel like my swimsuit is comfortable and fits me. The blue is slimming on my hips and the bold white and pink chevron draws the eyes up. My feminine asserts…my boobs were the focus. But even with this beautiful body in a gorgeous, flattering suit…I feel self-conscious. -
The Birth of My Princess
I had always said that I wanted 4 kids. My hubby said, “No – 2 is fine”. I offered a compromise and said “How about 3?” He again was adamant that 2 was fine. But for some reason, my family didn’t feel complete. -
Little Red Swimsuit
My body used to think the only piece of clothing I owned was a swimsuit. I worked at the YMCA as a lifeguard and swimming instructor. My “uniform” was a red one-piece swimsuit covered by my red YMCA jacket. When I wasn’t wearing my work suit, I was wearing a bikini, or a two-piece suit and sailing or water skiing on Beaver Dam Lake. I always felt proud of the way I filled out my suit. -
A Lifetime of Weight Concerns
Growing up I was always thinking about my weight. I was never happy with what I looked like. As a young child, I was painfully aware that I was so thin. The veins were so close to the surface of the skin that my chest appeared purple. Because of this, I would never wear anything with a V-neck or a low collar to hide this fact. -
It’s the Odd-Ball Things
Both mom and dad did so many amazing things for me over the years, but the ones that really stand out were the ones that dad did. We used to tease mom that it was because I didn’t have any happy childhood memories of her, but in actuality, it was because the things that dad did were the odd-ball things. -
My Dad – My Rock
My dad was my rock. To say I always saw eye to eye with my dad, especially in my teenage days, was an overstatement! We often would butt heads as I was a rather rebellious teenager and didn’t like his rules and restrictions, but I always found him to be the very foundation of my life. -
My Birth of My Pumpkin
I was pregnant again and my doctor had told me that my due date was December 13th, but that this was going to be a big baby. I remember during one appointment, my doctor did an ultrasound and said, “You’re going to have a boy and he is NOT shy!” Our little boy was in my belly, arms and legs somewhat outstretched and his privates were very obvious! -
A Struggle for Dad’s Approval
I am a pig-tailed, 4-year-old girl, demurely leaning against my dad’s extended knee. He is half kneeling in some wild daisies beside tall sheltering pines. He is grinning with pride at the camera, my right hand is thoughtfully touching his chin. My adoring eyes are on his face as I take the first bite out of a perfect red apple. It is a 1969 photo of peace and approval. It is the goal I seem to be always reaching for. -
Memorable Firsts with a Memorable Guy
When I was young, I was very intimidated by guys. My siblings were all female and I seldom saw my one male cousin. When I was in seventh grade, I began going to dances at the Junior High School. My girlfriends all had guy crushes and they were always reciprocated. -
Two Wrongs Can Make a Right
Do two wrongs really make a right? When I think of my experiences with Marriage, I think they can. Sometimes, we have omens that we should pay attention to. -
Manifesting the Perfect Day
Engagement–a few months before My wedding was going to be intimate, serene, and perfect. I imagined it that way and worked thoughtfully on the details.
Few events in life have as many deep customs, subtle nuances, and crazy rituals, AND opportunities for things to go wrong–like a wedding.
My wedding day, July 7, 2000, began sunny and bright with POSSIBLE showers later in the day. We were celebrating the event at the Heidel House. It was a quaint, secluded resort on the shores of Green Lake in Wisconsin.
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59 Years and Counting
We got married quite young. I was engaged as a senior in high school. My fiancé at the time, now my husband of 59 years, was two years older than me. We had dated on and off since I was 15. Unbelievable. They said it would never last. -
Details Worth Remembering
For so many, their wedding day is one of the most memorable events of their life. For me, with my swiss cheese brain, the complete details are a bit lacking. I do, however, remember a few details worth mentioning.
Wedding shoes
I was adamant that I would NOT go barefoot at my reception regardless of how my feet felt. None of the shoes I found were anything that I liked, so I found a simple pair of white satin heels and applied beaded appliques. I hate it when brides are wearing a beautiful gown and then proceed to either barefoot or wear stupid comfortable shoes. So – even though my feet were killing me, I kept my wedding heels on for the duration of the day. (My toes were numb for the next week in Jamaica) -
Can Netflix Binging be Considered Self-Care?
I’ve never really thought much about self-care until recently. Previously, I feel like I just did certain things because I liked them. Now, I try to more consciously perform some self-care. Here is a list of the items I’m currently doing to take care of myself. -
Drunk on the Beach
Self-care is actually a way of life for me. I tend to do the things I like even when there are many things on my agenda that I put off as I don’t enjoy them. So, while looking over the list of topics that I have written down that is my self-care I feel that I mostly do self-care on a regular basis. -
Hippy Dippy vs Healthy and Grounded
How do you “self-care”?
Well, the first thing you need to know is “What IS self-care anyway? According to the Googles, it is “doing something that helps your body, mind or soul feel good”.
Hippy Dippy
Oh god, this brings up visions of a bubble bath in a claw-footed tub, a meditation on an Indian-patterned pillow in a sunlit studio, yoga on an open patio overlooking the ocean, and long walks in an old-growth forest. So hippy-dippy, so self-indulgent and unrealistic.
Now, the other day, I was walking on a cool morning along a country road. The road was lined with dandelions. Millions and billions of dandelions. I know Evie and Stella (my Golden Retriever walking companions) thought I was crazy as I slowed down and began to take pictures. Then I reached down to one random flower/weed and plucked it. And you know what we used to do as kids? We would rub the flower under our chin and ask…”Do I like butter?”
If there was yellow pollen on your neck, you did. -
Take Care of You for Me
I have always loved the words “take care of you for me and I’ll take care of me for you.” This is a principle that I had to learn over time. I am a pleaser and often would do things for friends or family to my detriment. -
There Is Only One Me!
Three words that best describe me are snarky, persistent, and creative:
Snarky
I love to be snarky. Actually, it comes quite naturally. One of my favorite characters that I identify with is the cartoon character “Maxine”. She reminds me of how I think most of the time. Mix in a little more empathy and that is me. I am not a flowery speaking type of person. -
I Can Be Complicated
Three words to describe me would have to be a gross simplification! I can be a bit complicated! - I find myself to be extremely curious. When I’m at a staff meeting at work or talking to one of my friends, I often have questions about what has been discussed or communicated. I find myself to be very curious about the purpose or meaning of what was said.
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She Thought She Could, So She Did!
Trying to use 3 words to describe myself is no easy feat. Do I want to use positive or negative words? I’m currently working on my positive self-talk, so I think I need to focus on the kinder words. I had to resort to asking the family for words that described me and here is what they came up with. -
You Can Do It!
What are three words that describe me…? When you’re working on legacy writing, sometimes you want people to know how awesome you are! Come on, you can do it!!!
For this topic, the Sidetracked Sisters each prepared by thinking of words to describe the others. I even asked my daughter Aubrey to add a word for everyone. Then, when we got together to write, each of us didn’t have to be digging around for defining words, we could just sort, accept, or reject words that were chosen for us.
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Shame on You
Worry, shame, suffering, depression, regret…sucky emotions that I try to avoid in my life at all costs.
A Wise old woman was talking to a girl and said,
“There are two wolves always fighting inside me.
One is filled with anger, hate, jealousy, shame, and lies.
The other wolf is filled with love, joy, truth, and peace.
This battle rages inside of you and all people.”
The girl thought for a moment and asked,
“Which wolf will win?”
The Wise old woman answered,
“The one you feed.”
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Losing Loved Ones
In contemplating what my greatest fear is, I’d have to say it’s the fear of loss. The idea of losing a member of my family is unbearable to me. Whether it’s my sister, my mom or dad, my aunt, any of my kids, or any of my family, the thought brings me to tears. -
Lost Souls in Frames
It is hard to focus on just one of my greatest fears. It seems I have several. But to minimize them here is the first one: I am, and have been terrified of being in an auto accident and dying from the result. This has gone on for as long as I can remember. When I was younger I would actually decline going out of town, especially when my husband was driving, as I was terrified of getting killed in an auto accident. I overcame it for a while, but I must say I think being more aware of my mortality at this time, it has come back to haunt me. -
Storms, Heights, and Aging. Oh My!
When I think about my greatest fear, I have a variety of fears to choose from. I’ve always been terrified of storms. -
Money Will Take Care of Itself
Money is a loaded topic to me. When I was younger, I never really gave money too much of a thought. We always seemed to have enough money to do the things I wanted to do and buy the things I wanted to buy. I had no reason to feel deprived by a lack of money. -
Too Much Money?
To me, money is a “means to an end. It definitely tends to rule the world. It seems everything is about having money, earning money, wanting money, or not having enough money. Can you ever have enough money? It seems not so. -
Piggy Bank Love
I loved my piggy bank. When I was 6 years old, I would pull the plastic plug out of her belly and dump the pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters out onto my bed. Next, I would sort the coins into piles. Then I would organize the piles into smaller groups of 100 cents. I felt rich.
As a 12-year-old, my mom would give me spending money for our yearly family vacation. During the week-long camping trip at Jellystone Campground, I had the opportunity to go mini-golfing and to spend my money on treats and souvenirs. It felt so powerful to have the choice to buy as much ice cream as I wanted–or not. I would walk around the camp store every day admiring the mugs, keychains, and refrigerator magnets. I could buy any of these things. But I didn’t. Instead, I always counted my leftover money at the end of the week and added it to my piggy bank. I felt rich. -
The Love of Money is the Root of All Evil
When I was a little girl, I didn’t think much about money. I received a small allowance which went into my piggy bank. From time to time, Mom would take me to the bank to deposit my money. I enjoyed watching my savings grow and to be honest, I don’t remember what I used it for. Each birthday and Christmas, I would receive money from my relatives and it was earmarked for the savings account. -
My Bucket List in Retrospect
One of the things to do today is to compose a bucket list. Perhaps I have a very simple mind or am very satisfied with my life but as I start this writing, I don’t have one. Perhaps, I could write down my list in retrospect. Maybe because I’m one of the older Sidetracked Sisters, I have already accomplished some of the items that would be on my “Bucket List”. -
I Need a New Bucket
It is now called a bucket list, I called it dreams, goals, and accomplishments.I have lots of dreams, never really considered them on a bucket list, but I guess they really were.
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A Full Bucket List
My Dream Board I never used to have a bucket list of items I wanted to accomplish, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized there are things I want to accomplish before I die. I’ve included a few items that I’ve already done just because I like to have at least something checked off my list! (Like putting “Make my bed” on a daily to-do list AFTER I’ve already made it!)
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The Bucket List: Fill, Empty, and Repeat
I’ve always believed in goals, dreams, and bucket lists. But that doesn’t mean that they are easy for me.
Back in college, I spent the summer of 1985 in Washington DC at a church Youth Leadership Training Conference. Everyone worked full-time and attended activities and training in the evenings and on weekends.
During one of the first trainings, we were encouraged to have daily “quiet time” when we were supposed to read the Bible and pray. One of the goals of this activity was to gain clarity on our life goals.
Unfortunately, God did not reach his gaze down and bestow this wisdom upon me.
I knew that I wanted to finish my degree, get married, and have 13 children. This sounded pretty godly and was approved–as long as I looked to and depended upon my future husband as my head and leader.
Yeah. Right.
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Untangling From Toxic Friends
All relationships are challenging.When kids are very little it seems that having and making friends just go with the flow. As you get older things get a bit more complicated.
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The Hardest Choices
Life is full of change, challenges, and choices. School, college, what am I going to be when I grow up, finding a life partner, divorce, infertility, adoption, work drama, relationship drama, health drama… the list goes on.
Most challenges come and we muddle through to the best of our ability. We don’t see the challenge of a health scare coming, but we rally our resources to research and battle the event.Our kids challenge us with choices and behaviors that we tackle on a regular basis. We talk to their teachers and go on long car rides and try to talk some sense in an effort to guide a nearly adult teen to make “good” decisions.
But the hardest challenges are those we choose. No medical diagnosis or call from the police to knock us back on our heels and force change. The challenge that I’ve struggled with over the years has always been “What am I going to be when I grow up?”
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Protected: Divorce is the First Step
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It Should’ve Been Me
My oldest sister was my idol. I didn’t look at her as a role model because she set the bar too high. -
Who Do You Think You Are?
The best advice I’ve ever given is this: Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken and if people don’t like you, that is ok. -
Center of the Universe
“Who died and made you the center of the universe? Everything that people choose to do does not revolve around you. Frankly, people do as they must.” -
Turn it OFF!!
*Screen time is time spent watching TV, using the computer, and cell phone.
*Research shows that the average household has more televisions than people and has them on for more than 8 hours per day.
*Adults average about 8.5 hours of screen time per day.
*Aim for no more than 2 hours of screen time per day outside of work.
Image from Shel Silverstein’s poem “Jimmy Jet and His TV Set Back in the early 2000s, we would sponsor something called “TV turn-off” at the school where I taught. We would encourage families to commit to one week where households wouldn’t turn on their TVs. Probably 20% of the families participated or tried to anyway.
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Words of Wisdom x 4
I am not one to take advice, but throughout my life, I have actually been given some good pieces of wisdom and I actually took them.
One of the most memorable pieces of advice I was given was from my Dad. I was a teenager and having trouble with my boyfriend, now husband. We were on the phone and I anticipated him cheating on me. -
A Little Bit of This and a Little Bit of That
I’ve always been told I look just like my mom. I could never really see it myself until I was about 18. I was doing my makeup at her vanity and she was standing behind me. Looking from her face to mine and back again, it suddenly hit me and I started to cry stating “Oh my God. I DO look like you.” Really nice right? I’m sure mom really appreciated my tears! I don’t know why I cried – I think Mom looks great and always has. I should be so lucky to look as good as she does. -
Two Halves Make a Whole
The same or different. I have two girls, or I should say my husband and I have two girls. If you split me in half, you would have each girl, making one complete person, me. -
My One and Only
I never thought I would have children, so before the blessed event, I used to piggyback on my sister’s two girls. Appearance-wise, there was a time when the four of us looked very much alike. We were in a Chinese restaurant in Oakland, California one night. When the waitress approached our table, she looked around at the four of us and said “four people, same face!” We had a good laugh and decided the waitress was very observant.
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On Children
How much influence do we really have over our children?Aubrey and I were at Texas Roadhouse with four other mom-daughter couples. We were talking about random topics when the subject of birth stories came up. Aubrey and I quietly listened to everyone’s stories.
I don’t even know the exact time she was born in the early hours of July 27, 2009.
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Plastic Eggs and Yummy Bunnies
Judy, Uncle Lloyd and the bunny cake Easter traditions for us are filled with plastic eggs and yummy bunnies in all different shapes and forms. Holidays in our family are always chock-full of happy memories.
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Easter and Moldy Money
I remember Easter as being disappointing when I was young. My focus wasn’t on family or food. Jesus wasn’t the primary reason for this season. It was mostly just another opportunity for presents.
I’d get sidewalk chalk or a skateboard and a jump rope…but would be unable to play with these toys because there was always snow on the ground. Once, I got a cute little sleeveless sundress that I would freeze my ass off when I wore it to church. One year I wore a wide-brimmed white Easter hat. I’m actually not sure if I wore it or not, but it had its own drawer for years afterward–never worn again.
When I was a bit older, we would always have breakfast after Easter service at church.
The tradition of decorating hardboiled eggs began when I was a child and continues now with my children. The smell of vinegar at any time of the year brings me right back to this activity with my Grandma Is. Now we go to my mother-in-law’s house to craft our beauties. As we cover the table with newspaper and pour vinegar into coffee cups–the memories come flooding back. -
Cow Pies for Easter
Easter – So many traditions, so many memories, and the anticipation for the beginning of warm weather… -
Easter Hunting
There are lots of things to love about Easter – from the candy to the family dinner, but my favorite part has always been the Easter egg hunt. -
Snakes, and Piggies, and Dragons…Oh, My
It was spring, 1971. I was in First Grade. We actually had a long enough lunchtime that students could go home mid-day to eat before returning for afternoon classes.
On this sunny, noontime, I was crossing the mowed lot adjacent to our home. Walking through the low-cut weeks, I saw a couple of little garter snakes slithering away from my feet. I quickly grabbed one in each hand and brought them home. Going into the house through the garage, I saw a big cardboard box sitting on the garbage cans. A perfect spot to save my snakes for later! -
Hamsters, Uncle Lloyd and Simple Math
I had been telling everyone in my family for months that I wanted a pair of hamsters. Dad said no. Mom said no and I was frustrated. I was ten years old and I was fascinated by hamsters. -
My Houdini Hamster
Over the years I’ve had a slew of pets including dogs, fish, hamsters, birds, salamanders, crayfish, and cats. My first bird was a yellow parakeet with red eyes that I named Buttercup and my first hamster was a white albino teddy bear hamster (but I don’t remember it’s name).
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And Then There Was Oliver
When I was living at home we had a variety of pets. This included dogs, turtles, fish, chameleons, frogs, hamsters, and birds. -
Sister…I’m Going West!
It was a beautiful spring afternoon in 1975. My 5-year-old sister, Michelle, and I trekked across the freshly plowed field towards the rock hill on the edge of our grandparent’s acreage. A warm wind was blowing and we stood together on the top of the hill. Without much thought, I began walking down the “backside”. For some reason, Michelle asked me where I was going.
“West”, I answered. “I’m going west!” I repeated.
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The Queen, The Princess and The Frog
To say having siblings is interesting, wonderful, and memorable is, to sum up, my life with two siblings. Our family consisted of three girls. Kathy was the oldest, I was the middle child and Judy is my younger sister. We are four and five years apart. -
Torture, Arguments and Reactions
We heard Dad taking the stairs two at a time as he ran up to find out why we weren’t asleep yet. I had a room of my own. My bed was a roll away and, on this night, we were pretending it was a pirate ship. The bar connecting the bed when it was folded up, was the ship’s wheel. We were laughing and pretending and having a great time. I was facing forward and, in my imagination, I was guiding our ship through rough waters. -
My Sister – My Hero
My sister was always my hero growing up. This is not a new thing for me to reveal by any means. She played the flute, so did I. She was a cheerleader, so was I. She went to UW Eau Claire, so did I. There are many more examples, but you get the idea. -
The Day It All Began
It was just six days before Christmas. I was eight months pregnant, it was the holidays. A lot of the presents were not yet purchased or wrapped, to say the least. The Christmas tree was up but not trimmed. More importantly, the nursery was a skeleton of what it was supposed to be. After all, we had a whole month to go before our little cherub would be born. -
The Birth of My Peanut
I remember the birth story of each of my kids very well. Many people will tell you horror stories about childbirth, but I’m not one of those people. I loved being pregnant and having my kids. I never had a day of morning sickness and each of my labors was pretty easy (compared to some). -
Family–Not “If” but “When”
I’ve always known I wanted a family. When I was in elementary school, I was committed to adoption. At the age of 10, I didn’t want to contribute to world overpopulation.
As college students involved in an evangelical, fundamentalist church, my fiance (Tom) and I discussed–and were excited–about the idea of 13 children! This idea also served to traumatize both sets of our parents.8754457
Then, as a young married couple, we decided to divorce because I continued to be committed to the prospect of raising a child/children. However, my husband’s feelings had changed. He enjoyed and believed a more carefree life that focused on music was more in-line with his needs.
Craig and I When I met Craig, I shared with him on our first date that I wanted a family–but it wouldn’t be easy. He was game for pursuing infertility work or adoption from the very beginning.
You see, I had actively begun trying to get pregnant after 5 years of marriage with my first husband. It was 1992. Like so many couples, we just assumed it would happen quickly when the decision was made.
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Kiley, the Prophet
Our beautiful Kiley was only 3 when her Daddy and I were married. She and I had a good relationship. Her only regret was having to share her dad with me. One day when we were cleaning the glass on the patio table together, she said “Judy, you know you really should have a baby. Daddy has me to take care of and you don’t have anyone!” I laughed and said maybe Daddy and I could share. I didn’t explain that I had been told I couldn’t have children. -
There’s a Man in my Kitchen!
My favorite food memories have happened in the last thirty-five years. Coincidentally my husband and I have been married for thirty-five years.I think I realized that he was the real deal when I learned that he loved to cook. His cooking is his art. Nothing is too hard or off the table of possibilities.
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I Hate Tuna!
I have a serious aversion to canned tuna! The smell, the texture, the presentation… All of it grosses me out. When I was younger, mom would make these tuna burgers that many people will say, sound delicious. I will have to strongly disagree! Even the thought of it makes me want to gag. -
Who Could Possibly Eat Liver?
When I lived at home I was subjected to the most interesting meals. You see, my dad was at one time a meat salesman. He would bring home items of meat (I think they could be classified as meat) and my mom would create a meal out of them.
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Comfort Foods
As a child, I spent my days with my Grandma Is. She took care of me while my mom worked. We would play cards. She read the “Daily Citizen” newspaper from beginning to end and painted her fingernails her favorite bright red color.
Summer days followed a familiar routine. The tv was never turned on (it was only re-runs anyway). I played with neighborhood kids or worked on my coloring books. The best part of the day was lunch…my favorite.
We’d go into the kitchen together, she’d set a small pot to boil on the stove. While it got hot, she sliced 4 pieces of summer sausage and laid out 3 sweet bread and butter pickles in a shallow bowl. Once the water was boiling, she would carefully and precisely measure exactly one cup of noodles. I would cajole her to make a heaping cup…so she would compromise by adding a pinch more noodles.
Once the noodles were done, she’d dump out the water and add butter and salt before adding them to my bowl. A glass of milk in a pastel metal drinking glass completed the meal.
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One Pink Shoe, One Green
To say I love clothes and shoes is an understatement. I actually somehow have two full, down from three closets, full of clothes. One of my closets actually has nothing but jackets which I never wear since I am now retired. I also have a surplus of skirts that I haven’t worn even one for over one year. When I go into a store I never try them on there as I hate to try on clothes. This does result in a few returns along the way, but it is what it is. I have to be comfortable or I will never wear the outfit again. -
Comfort Before Beauty
I give quite a bit of thought to what I put on my body. One of my rules of thumb is that “life is too short to wear uncomfortable shoes”! -
Naked, But With the Right Shoes
I always say I would go naked if I had the right shoes to wear! That may be a slight exaggeration, but I do love shoes. -
Love Daisies But When’s the Flood?
Sometimes there are just certain items of clothing or certain pairs of shoes that just have a special meaning to them or bring back a particular memory. I have a few things that do that for me.
Kindergarten -
One Way to Learn to Drive!
One way to learn to drive is just, “Do it”. What I mean by that is the following:
1957 Plymouth I was fifteen, not even old enough to have a driver’s license. If you can remember way back to 1959 or so, I was sitting close to my boyfriend, now husband, a/k/a Art. You see, in those days there was no consul to separate the seats. We were in the country, him driving with his arm around my shoulders, and me, of course, snuggling up close to him, as was the usual position for a boyfriend and girlfriend. He was handling the gas, I was to handle the steering.
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No Worries
It was June 1981. I was more excited than nervous. The next day, I was going to the Department of Motor Vehicles for the road test for my driver’s permit. It was dark out when dad and I drove out of town to the DMV to practice the skills I would be demonstrating the next day. I pulled out of the parking lot at the same time that people were entering the local racetrack for an event. Traffic was heavy for our small rural town. I took a left onto the highway and was unaware of the cars around me. I turned into the far lane, instead of the closest lane. Within one minute of my practice, I had shown my dad that I was NOT ready to drive the family care independently and safely. -
Late Bloomer
1957 Oldsmobile I was a late bloomer. When I was in High School, everyone was chomping at the bit to learn to drive and to get their licenses. I’ve always been a late bloomer. I knew Dad wouldn’t let me drive his car and I didn’t have another car to drive so I was in no hurry to learn.
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Drive Me Home
When I first was learning to drive, I remember that mom was at work, so Lisa got the privilege of taking me to the DMV for my temps. After I left the building, Lisa threw me the keys and said “Ok – drive me home.” -
Cream Carpet vs Red Jello
Has anyone had a problem or a mishap that felt like an impossible problem when it came to cleaning of any kind? Well, I did. -
My Cleaning Mishaps AKA Not Cleaning
I admit to finding it difficult to write about cleaning and cleaning mishaps because I don’t clean very often. I pick up, I organize and I straighten but I seldom clean. -
The Consequence of NOT Cleaning UP
I was so tired that night in 1999. Instead of cleaning up the kitchen before bed, I promised myself that I would take care of the dishes and pot from our chicken dinner first thing in the morning.Later, I woke up slightly and smelled bacon cooking. I thought, “Huh, Craig must be home.”
Still later, I woke up a little more and smelled burned bacon. I got up and walked along the hall and down the stairs. As I neared the bottom of the staircase, a thick cloud of smoke erased the landing.
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Yes! A Roomba CAN Vacuum Up Poop!
When initially thinking about getting an automatic vacuum (iRobot, Roomba or whatever you want to call it), I read the horror stories of vacuuming up shit. In my head, I thought, “Oh – that won’t be an issue.” Boy – was I wrong! -
Home is Where the Heart is
Our First Home As a teenager, I always said, “When I am eighteen I am out of here.” Well, guess what, out of my family I am the only one that has never left. I have lived in the same town my whole life, have moved only four times, and owned two homes (not including vacation properties). I moved from my childhood home to an apartment when married, then from there to a new tri-level, and then to a two-story which I am still residing in.
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Dorm Sweet Dorm
Picture from the Eau Claire newspaper My first dorm room was really something to see. During summer orientation, Janelle, our moms, and I went to Eau Claire to get the lay of the land and much to my delight, they gave us a floor plan of our dorm room. By the time we had driven the 3 hours home, I already had it all figured out where everything was going to go (complete with measurements).