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Tell the Truth or Else
When Matt was young, I gave him one basic rule: Do not lie to me.If you’ve done something wrong, or are about to do something you know I won’t approve of, be honest, and I’ll work with you. If I disagree, I’ll listen to your reasoning, and chances are, I’ll give you the go-ahead.
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Because I Said So
Rules in our house were usually made between my husband and me. But, perhaps that is because they were girls, at the very end of our discussions, it seemed that I (Mama) ruled. This could be based on style, activities, chores, school, and church events. Now, when it came to discipline, I believe Art ruled. He didn’t have to make these hardcore decisions very often because, for some reason, I tried to shield him from the (really bad stuff). I think I didn’t want him to be upset and/or disappointed in his daughters. (By the way, today I don’t think that was a good idea at all.) -
Because Mama Rules
Let’s get one thing straight—when it came to decorating the house, I had Mama Rules. And Rule #1? Mama picks the colors.When I was a kid, my “choices” were laughable. I got to pick between yellow and red… or yellow and red. I’m pretty sure those weren’t even my choices. They were just the two colors my mom picked out of her pea-brain. So yes, my bedroom looked like it was sponsored by Heinz (you know – ketchup and mustard).
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Home Is Where The Lifeline Is
Some people can start a new life in a new city with no ties to anyone or anything. I am NOT one of those people. For me, family is the one lifeline I cannot live without. -
Lifelines Bring Laughter
Raising a child without a lifeline is close to impossible or at very best, difficult. I realized this truth when our son Matt was a year old. My husband, Michael had a job that took him to other states from Sunday night to Friday night each week. I had a wonderful woman who would babysit for Matt a few afternoons. This was the time I would attend classes at our local community college. -
Survival Lifeline
It is said that it takes a village to raise a child. I agree with this, but it also takes having a lifeline of both friends of friends and relatives to survive in life. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a good support system such as a lifeline, but it sure helps and makes things a lot easier. -
Counting Losses, Not Weeks
There are so many different kinds of death that we go through in our lives. One type of death that happened to me was having four different miscarriages. I think a miscarriage for anyone is interpreted and felt in so many different ways, and the severity happens differently as well.
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Discipline or Negotiation
I hated being disciplined as a child. If Mom ever said, “Just wait till your dad gets home…” I would instantly change my behavior to avoid getting yelled at. I don’t remember Dad ever actually yelling at me, but his look of disapproval would send me into an immediate fit of tears. Mom’s discipline never had the same effect on me.
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Resilience, Relatives and Rolling with the Punches
Ah, the holidays. A time for twinkling lights, delicious feasts, and… navigating the emotional minefield of family gatherings. Add in the inevitable challenges—burnt turkey, last-minute gift shopping, and Uncle Bob’s annual political rant—and you’ve got the perfect storm for testing your resilience.But resilience isn’t just about surviving the holidays with your sanity (mostly) intact. It’s about showing up when it matters most—especially during the hardest moments, like the loss of a loved one. When grief collides with the season of joy, resilience is what carries us through.
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The Naked Truth
Picture this, I am a small child living at home and it is the middle of the night and I need my mom. She was one of those moms that was always there for you. Unfortunately, when she came to take care of you or to take care of whatever you needed, she would show up naked. Yup, I said naked. God she would kill me if she could read this!!! I don’t know why she never wore a robe or a coverup, but she didn’t. This turned me off, so that in the future whenever I needed her I would grin and bear it and try to fix whatever I needed myself. -
Let’s Ask Mom
I was always a people pleaser as a young child. I never wanted to disappoint my parents with my actions. For example, on a Sunday morning when I was 6, I was ready for church before everyone else and was told I could go outside if I didn’t get dirty. I was found a few minutes later, sitting in my little lawn chair by the side of the road, patiently waiting for the rest of the family. See… people pleaser. -
The Glue That Held Us Together
I remember thinking my Mom was the hardest-working person I had ever met. She made sure the house was always neat and clean. The downstairs got cleaned on Fridays and the upstairs on Thursdays. When the house was in the least bit faded, Mom painted the living room and other rooms by herself. When I was little, my Dad wore starched white dress shirts. Daily. Mom would sprinkle them and keep them in the fridge so they wouldn’t mildew. Then every week, she would iron these shirts until they were perfect. -
Priceless Memories
Our family loves its heirlooms. Both sides of my family had a lot of neat antiques that would have been fun to own. The problem I faced was that I had cousins who became interested in antiques just before my interest was piqued. That left me with not much to pine after. -
More Than Stuff
Craig and I were just chatting about heirlooms the other day. He’s got his eye on something specific from his grandpa’s place: a miniature John Deere tire that was transformed into—wait for it—an ashtray.
Yep. An ashtray.
Oh, my.
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Presents from the Past
I never received many heirlooms from either of my grandmothers, but in retrospect, I received a few items from my great-uncle Lloyd. He may not have meant them as heirlooms, but I chose to look at them that way.
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Childhood Confidence
This week’s writing was one of the hardest to focus on. A favorite picture was needed as the topic. Do you know how many pictures I have from the last thirty-seven-plus years? Each image has its own unique story to tell. My most popular subject has been our son Matthew. Matthew at Halloween, Matthew at the zoo, Matthew just looking adorable. I think you get the picture. -
Just Come and Look
One of my favorite pictures is from quite a while ago.As a mother of a three-year-old and owner of a newer home, I was happy with having no responsibility for a pet, especially a dog. I did not miss brushing the carpets of hair, hairballs in the kitchen and baths, and, of course, the wonderful duty of cleaning up dog poop.
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Another Day Another Lickin’
As I remember I was always getting into trouble. I was curious, mischievous, and just plain naughty. I had a knack for bending the rules. I was the middle child and perhaps seeking out attention. I was not one to sit idly and be bored. I always seemed to make bad choices in the process of being a kid. -
Overworked and Underpaid?
Imagine a young child spending hours sweating under the midday summer sun, digging a hole in the field next to her family’s yard. She sought treasure – anything from dinosaur bones or ancient relics to interesting rocks or even a snake hole. What did she find? Just clumps of dirt and wriggling worms.
Observing her dad mow their yard, their home situated in a newly developed area bordered by fields, the girl couldn’t help but envision herself taking on the task. Each week, her dad diligently mowed the whole field on the south side of their property, transforming it into what resembled a park. It took about two hours to maintain the yard and field, a responsibility the girl eagerly awaited.
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Gimmie the Pennies
Picture this. I’m 5 years old and it’s Mother’s Day. We are all getting ready to go out to eat and I’m ready before everyone else. I’m bored and asked Mom if I could go outside. She told me that was fine as long as I didn’t get dirty. Apparently, I took that message to heart, because I was found just sitting at the side of the road in my little lawnchair. Lisa called mom and said “You have got to check this out!” In my defense, I was just doing what I was told. -
Please Be Happy
I worked hard to find my place in our family. I was the youngest of three girls. My oldest sister was 9 years older. My middle sister was 5 years older. As the youngest, I often felt like I wasn’t allowed to do the things that the older girls could do. I wanted to help. My mom said I had a hernia so she wouldn’t let me shovel snow or vacuum or do anything that would exert extra effort. I wanted to be more of a player even though I was younger. My sister thought it was silly and somehow it was my excuse not to get involved. -
Read to Me…Not
When I was in high school, I loved to read–but not necessarily the books that were assigned in class. Even if I hadn’t read the whole book, I could contribute to the conversation by reading the dust jacket, the first chapter, and the last chapter.I decided that I would change this habit when I got to college. I signed up for an English literature class. One of the first books we were assigned was Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin. I loved the idea of reading this book. I loved the first line. It is the only first line of any book that I’ve memorized.
“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”
I loved the discussions about family, wealth, reputation, social class, and of course, pride and prejudice. But I didn’t actually read it until years later.
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Atari Love
I can still remember the Christmas that I got my Atari 2600. I think this is where my love of technology began. I received the game system that morning and as soon as the presents were opened, I had it set up on our basement TV. But with my luck – by the time I was ready to play with it – it was time to get over to Grandma Is’s house to celebrate the holiday with the remainder of the family. -
My Broomstick Horse
When I was a kid I don’t remember having many toys. We had the staples such as roller skates, ice skates, a bike, and a doll or two. I also had a metal dollhouse and paper dolls. But, the one thing I had was a good imagination. -
I Am Trixie Belden
Being young in the 50s was a whole different ball game than being young today. I remember 3 different pastimes. First was playing cowboys and indians with the neighborhood boys. Second was getting out our jump ropes, pogo sticks, and stilts and the third was pretending to be Trixie Belden and her sidekick named Honey from the Trixie Belden mystery series. -
Escape Room Adventures
This past weekend, my kids, their significant others and I went to an escape room in Wisconsin Dells. It was a Christmas present from me to all of them and we wanted to do it before a couple of them went back to school. Last year, for my birthday, they treated me to an escape room adventure in Madison and we had so much fun that I knew we had to try it again. -
Five on the Floor
At one time I owned a Honda Accord with a 5-speed transmission. It was a very fun car to drive and Matt would always comment that he wished he knew how to drive a 5-speed car. When he got his driver’s license, I asked him if he still wanted to learn how to drive a standard transmission. He jumped at the chance. -
Pickled Poop
I have six grandchildren and one great-grandchild. I have had the wonderful opportunity and experience of living close to all of my grandchildren. This includes being able to spend good quality time and a lot of fun experiences. -
Family is Everything
To some people, the presence of family brings stress, challenges, and dread. They don’t like to be around family because of differing opinions or hard feelings. I have difficulty relating to those people as my family is the exact opposite. I couldn’t imagine life without them. -
Family History Shared
When I turned my key in the apartment door, I always felt the same sadness. I just wanted to go home. I wanted to be with my family. The move to Colorado back in 2005 had seemed like a good idea. It checked all the boxes. A good job for Michael, and a great school with a hockey team for Matt’s Senior year. It felt right since they had both helped me take such good care of my mom. Now, she had passed. Still, my gut was telling me “Don’t go”.
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What Kind of Dog is That??
Thirty-four years ago, we wanted to buy a dog. We had said we would wait until our new son; Matt was a year old and walking so the time had come. We had taken Matt to the “Nut Tree” which was a restaurant, gift shop, and a mini amusement park. While we were there, we fell in love with a dog we saw. We asked the owners “What kind of dog is that?” They responded that it was a Bouvier des Flandres. Our love of Bouviers started that day. -
Teenage Fashion Dilemma
We, as a culture, seem to be attracted to black and white opinions. We see things as good or bad, flower or weed, Republican or Democrat, yum or yuck, right or wrong.As a parent it’s easy to be labeled as either the “go-to” parent or the “hard-ass”. Between Craig and I (generally speaking) I am the one who is more inclined to say “yes”.
But it really isn’t as simple as that…
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Finding Baby Sister
Craig swears that mom and I began planning for our baby girl when the airplane tires hit the tarmac when we returned home from adopting our boys from Russia.He was right.
I can’t remember a time that I didn’t think about “baby sister”. Our family just didn’t feel quite complete. Our boys were perfect, but there was still someone missing.
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Sleeping with the Bridesmaids
This story is on a hearsay basis. In other words, I wasn’t there, but have had this story told to me several times and I think it is pretty funny and is one of my favorites for this family. -
Caught Naked
Have you ever seen a family member naked that you shouldn’t be seeing or didn’t want to be seeing? Well, our family has a habit of seeing the wrong people naked and at inopportune times. Over the years, there have been multiple instances of this. -
Letting Go
March 20006 It’s been over a month since I’ve talked to my oldest son. Texts, messages, and chats go unanswered. His dad’s birthday has come and gone. Crickets.
Life has rarely been easy parenting Luka. We adopted him from an orphanage in Russia when he was 32 months old. The only thing we knew about his birth mother was that she was a registered alcoholic. He was a loving and sweet boy.
One of his elementary teachers noted about him, that although school was hard for him, he was the most determined and hard-working kid in her class. She was sure that that tenacity would pay off for him in the future.
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My #1 #2
Looking back at some real changes in my life would certainly include the birth of my two daughters. I am going to focus on the birth of my second child, who I teasingly call my #1 #2. (Get it – she’s my favorite 2nd child) See I try to make everything even outlining the importance of their being. -
Lucy the Labradoodle
It was 2013 and I had been living as a single person for almost 5 years. Sam, our beautiful family black lab, had recently passed due to a horrible but thankfully quick struggle with throat cancer. I decided it was time to get another dog and this time, she was going to be mine. It was the first time I had been able to make a decision like this on my own. -
Nature or Nurture?
As an adoptive parent, I only occasionally think about how my kids are like and unlike me. I do see stories frequently about adoptees getting together with birth parents. They recognize all kinds of connections that they’ve never had before. Now they see someone else who loves golf as they do. Or they see where they got their long legs with knobby knees. Or they finally found someone else in the world who pukes at the taste of dark chocolate.
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I Am My Mother After All
I was 18 years old and sitting at Mom’s vanity doing my makeup. Mom came up behind me and put her hands on my shoulders. I looked from my face to hers and back to mine again and I started to cry a little. I said, “Oh My God… I DO look like you!” Boy, I sure know how to make someone feel like a million bucks! That’s just one way that I’m like my mom. -
Mom + Dad = Me
If I had to choose which parent I am most like I would say a very little of either, but am a lot like my paternal uncle. My dad was very social, loved speaking before groups, and was just really outgoing. I cannot identify with most of these traits as I am more reserved in large groups, hate public speaking, and am sort of outgoing. Now, on the other hand, my mother was definitely an introvert. She depended a lot on my dad for his social support. When he passed she had to work very hard to become more social and outgoing. I would say I sort of fit in the middle of these two parents. The most drastic difference between my dad and I was speaking in front of groups. I always say I would rather give birth than do any kind of public speaking.
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The Professional Worrier
My parents shared many of their characteristics with me. Some were learned and some were in my genes.Dad was a procrastinator. He would finish dinner, sit down to watch something on TV, and often would fall asleep. He’d wake up when it was time to go to bed and then he’d start working.
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No Laughing at the Dinner Table
Mom and Dad had some interesting phrases that they repeated on numerous occasions.
Dad #1
One of our favorite parts of the day was when the family got together in the dining room for dinner Something would hit one of our funny bones and we would start laughing. Next, the whole table was laughing and joking. Dad would seriously interject “Cut it out or someone is going to be crying soon”. The sad part was that he was often right. He would get impatient with the frivolity and one of us would get in trouble. Then the tears would start.Dad #2
I used to love to debate with Dad. I didn’t consider it arguing but apparently, he did. When he felt backed into a corner, his next phrase was “Don’t talk back to me young lady”. At that point, I had to stop debating and quietly leave the discussion.
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If Your Dad Knew About This…
When my kids get into trouble, I am so glad that I’m not a single parent, Craig and I both are involved in the ups and downs of parenting.
When I was a child and got into trouble, my mom was the primary caregiver, the default parent, and the dealer of discipline. But the secret of her power was found in one little phrase…”If your father found out/knew about this, he would be so disappointed.”
That little phrase had the power to shape me because she was right. AND his disappointment was like a sledgehammer. Here is one example…
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Someday When I’m Dead and Gone…
“Some day when I’m dead and gone… then you’ll appreciate me”. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve heard that phrase from Mom’s mouth when I’m doing or saying something to her that she doesn’t like. -
Selling Pencils and Shoe Laces
A phrase often heard in our household when I was a kid was directed at the whole family, I guess. I had two sisters and we were given tasks to do. Anyway, my younger sister and I were given tasks to do. My older sister for some reason was exempt from this activity. It seems when responsibilities are given to children in households there are a lot of arguments and reasons not to participate. Well, my dad thought he had the answer to solve this problem. You see he would threaten all of us that “he was going to sell our house, we would have to live in an apartment, and he would have to stand on a corner selling pencils and shoe laces. This also came in handy to complain when he didn’t make a sale, as he was a salesman, and we would feel sorry for him. -
Show Me The Love
Candlelight dinner from Nathan – Valentine’s Day 2011 When trying to think about what makes me feel loved or what gives me warm fuzzies, the first thought that comes to mind is when my kids remember to thank me for something I’ve done for them.
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A Captive Audience
My mom worked when I was growing up. I would walk to my grandma’s house after school. while there, I would lean against the round naugahyde ottoman and watch Room 222, The Brady Bunch, Marcus Welby, MD, and Gilligan’s Island. When it got dark outside, grandma would begin cooking dinner and mom would be there to pick me up. -
Hop Aboard the Wine Train
Hop aboard the Wine Train – We were in Napa, Ca. Mom and her sister Hyacinth were visiting from Wisconsin. They had arrived by way of the Golden Zephyr out of Milwaukee and I had picked them up at the train station in Alameda, Ca. -
My Mom – My Everything
My parents, especially my mom was a very special person in my life. She took care of my kids when I went to work after giving birth to my firstborn and also when number 2 came along. This was at a time when she was also caring for my oldest sister who was suffering with MS. she became a widow at the young age of 55. By that time my sister had passed. She made it possible for me to work enabling my family to acquire and achieve our dreams which would not have been possible without her help. -
Always There To Help
One thing I absolutely love about my parents is that they are ALWAYS there to help me. In any way, shape or form. As long as I can remember… I’ve been spoiled with this fact.I remember in high school, after receiving my own car (see my previous post about the little red hornet), dad would take each car to the filling station on Friday and fill it up for the week. I never had to worry about running out of gas while dad was around.
When I was in college in the dorms, mom and dad came up to Eau Claire and made my dorm rooms into better homes and gardens so that I would enjoy my environment. Dad made bunk beds and carpeted my rooms, while mom decorated every spare inch, from recovering bulletin boards and chairs to painting and hanging curtains. Once I moved off campus, mom and the grandmas would come up and take the weekend to repaint cupboards and bedrooms and again, decorate everything that would stand still so I wouldn’t feel so homesick.
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Little Kids Little Problems, Big Kids Big Problems
Summer of 2012 I lay in bed and play the what if…game. Why are the what ifs always the negative possibility? What is the difference between worry and anxiety? Is it a problem that I don’t know the difference?
Maybe the problem with worries is that I am thinking about something (in most cases) that is not in my control. I am overthinking and projecting negative consequences onto someone else’s life.
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A Grandparent’s Perspective
Having grown up in a household of girls, and having two daughters of my own, I am probably not the best judge of the difference between raising girls versus boys. But, then the unexpected happened!! I became the grandma to two girls and FOUR BOYS. Now we can compare. -
Everything Is Up For Grabs
Where did that come from?Why did he do that?
I would have never thought to do it that way…
The phrases parents regularly use to understand their children often have a basis in biology. It is assumed that your children, not only look like you but should act or behave like you do (or did as a child).
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What Do You Do With Little Boys?
When I got pregnant for the one time in my life, I was so excited. It didn’t occur to me to want a girl or boy. I just wanted a healthy baby.Several months later, I had the amniocentesis and we were asked if we wanted to know the sex. We both said YES! I was at work when the hospital called to tell me that 1. We had a healthy baby and 2. The baby was a boy.
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Middle Child Syndrome
Sandy and Kathy I was the second born in a family of three girls. This, of course, made me the dreaded “middle child”. From experience and observing other families I can say the problems of the middle child seem to be true.
The first child in our family was my sister, Kathy. She was born four years before me. She was the first child, grandchild, and niece. She seemed to be the favorite of everyone from my standpoint. Then I came along. I was told that since my parents already had a girl it would have been nice to have a boy. Oh well, it didn’t turn out that way, but they adjusted. I remember our home life being normal and pleasant. My dad was in the service and I was two days old when he was deployed. So, having no males around I didn’t like them very much. I have been told that later in life I made up for that! Whatever that means!!! Then it happened, another girl was born into our family five years later. This now made me a middle child.
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Big Sister Power
I remember the night that I became a big sister. Mom was at the hospital and dad took me to the PizzaVilla. He worked there on the weekends delivering pizzas. He ordered the two of us a large with a different topping on each slice. Standing below the counter, I remember him holding me up so I could approve his special order.That was the beginning of my experience as the oldest child in our family. But being a big sister was important and “perks” came with the position!
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Third Time is the Charm
Being the “baby” in a family of three girls had its benefits and downsides. My ideas and suggestions about things were often discounted because I was the “baby”. On the other hand, I learned to be flexible and to go with the flow. -
Save the Best for Last
I’m the youngest by 5.5 years of 2 girls in my family. Mom always calls me her #1 #2. Being the youngest had its pros and cons. With a 5.5-year difference between Lisa and me, it sometimes felt like I was an only child. When Lisa was 18 and going to college, I was only 13 and in 8th grade. -
The Power of Red Nail Polish
As a child, I spent late afternoons during the school year and long summer days with my grandma Is. She wasn’t a teacher by trade, but she taught me what was important through constant example.
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Family Means Everything
Gma Is, Uncle Lloyd and Gma Doris at my wedding Both of my grandmas taught me many life lessons as I grew up and I was so very lucky that they were both with me until I had my own children.
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Cool Grandmas
Grandmas are so very special. I had two extremely different grandmas in regards to their personalities, styles, religion, and just about everything. -
Lessons from Grandma Bauer
Grandma Bauer and Aunt Hyc My Grandma Bauer was a feisty, loving woman. She came to America from Germany as a young woman. Grandpa Joe also came from Germany. I wish I knew more about their early lives but these are stories I never heard. The first thing she taught me was to be more curious about my relatives because their stories are too important to lose.
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The Birth of My Princess
I had always said that I wanted 4 kids. My hubby said, “No – 2 is fine”. I offered a compromise and said “How about 3?” He again was adamant that 2 was fine. But for some reason, my family didn’t feel complete. -
My Birth of My Pumpkin
I was pregnant again and my doctor had told me that my due date was December 13th, but that this was going to be a big baby. I remember during one appointment, my doctor did an ultrasound and said, “You’re going to have a boy and he is NOT shy!” Our little boy was in my belly, arms and legs somewhat outstretched and his privates were very obvious! -
A Little Bit of This and a Little Bit of That
I’ve always been told I look just like my mom. I could never really see it myself until I was about 18. I was doing my makeup at her vanity and she was standing behind me. Looking from her face to mine and back again, it suddenly hit me and I started to cry stating “Oh my God. I DO look like you.” Really nice right? I’m sure mom really appreciated my tears! I don’t know why I cried – I think Mom looks great and always has. I should be so lucky to look as good as she does. -
Two Halves Make a Whole
The same or different. I have two girls, or I should say my husband and I have two girls. If you split me in half, you would have each girl, making one complete person, me. -
My One and Only
I never thought I would have children, so before the blessed event, I used to piggyback on my sister’s two girls. Appearance-wise, there was a time when the four of us looked very much alike. We were in a Chinese restaurant in Oakland, California one night. When the waitress approached our table, she looked around at the four of us and said “four people, same face!” We had a good laugh and decided the waitress was very observant.
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On Children
How much influence do we really have over our children?Aubrey and I were at Texas Roadhouse with four other mom-daughter couples. We were talking about random topics when the subject of birth stories came up. Aubrey and I quietly listened to everyone’s stories.
I don’t even know the exact time she was born in the early hours of July 27, 2009.
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Snakes, and Piggies, and Dragons…Oh, My
It was spring, 1971. I was in First Grade. We actually had a long enough lunchtime that students could go home mid-day to eat before returning for afternoon classes.
On this sunny, noontime, I was crossing the mowed lot adjacent to our home. Walking through the low-cut weeks, I saw a couple of little garter snakes slithering away from my feet. I quickly grabbed one in each hand and brought them home. Going into the house through the garage, I saw a big cardboard box sitting on the garbage cans. A perfect spot to save my snakes for later! -
Hamsters, Uncle Lloyd and Simple Math
I had been telling everyone in my family for months that I wanted a pair of hamsters. Dad said no. Mom said no and I was frustrated. I was ten years old and I was fascinated by hamsters. -
My Houdini Hamster
Over the years I’ve had a slew of pets including dogs, fish, hamsters, birds, salamanders, crayfish, and cats. My first bird was a yellow parakeet with red eyes that I named Buttercup and my first hamster was a white albino teddy bear hamster (but I don’t remember it’s name).
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And Then There Was Oliver
When I was living at home we had a variety of pets. This included dogs, turtles, fish, chameleons, frogs, hamsters, and birds. -
The Queen, The Princess and The Frog
To say having siblings is interesting, wonderful, and memorable is, to sum up, my life with two siblings. Our family consisted of three girls. Kathy was the oldest, I was the middle child and Judy is my younger sister. We are four and five years apart. -
Torture, Arguments and Reactions
We heard Dad taking the stairs two at a time as he ran up to find out why we weren’t asleep yet. I had a room of my own. My bed was a roll away and, on this night, we were pretending it was a pirate ship. The bar connecting the bed when it was folded up, was the ship’s wheel. We were laughing and pretending and having a great time. I was facing forward and, in my imagination, I was guiding our ship through rough waters. -
My Sister – My Hero
My sister was always my hero growing up. This is not a new thing for me to reveal by any means. She played the flute, so did I. She was a cheerleader, so was I. She went to UW Eau Claire, so did I. There are many more examples, but you get the idea. -
The Day It All Began
It was just six days before Christmas. I was eight months pregnant, it was the holidays. A lot of the presents were not yet purchased or wrapped, to say the least. The Christmas tree was up but not trimmed. More importantly, the nursery was a skeleton of what it was supposed to be. After all, we had a whole month to go before our little cherub would be born. -
The Birth of My Peanut
I remember the birth story of each of my kids very well. Many people will tell you horror stories about childbirth, but I’m not one of those people. I loved being pregnant and having my kids. I never had a day of morning sickness and each of my labors was pretty easy (compared to some). -
Family–Not “If” but “When”
I’ve always known I wanted a family. When I was in elementary school, I was committed to adoption. At the age of 10, I didn’t want to contribute to world overpopulation.
As college students involved in an evangelical, fundamentalist church, my fiance (Tom) and I discussed–and were excited–about the idea of 13 children! This idea also served to traumatize both sets of our parents.8754457
Then, as a young married couple, we decided to divorce because I continued to be committed to the prospect of raising a child/children. However, my husband’s feelings had changed. He enjoyed and believed a more carefree life that focused on music was more in-line with his needs.
Craig and I When I met Craig, I shared with him on our first date that I wanted a family–but it wouldn’t be easy. He was game for pursuing infertility work or adoption from the very beginning.
You see, I had actively begun trying to get pregnant after 5 years of marriage with my first husband. It was 1992. Like so many couples, we just assumed it would happen quickly when the decision was made.
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Kiley, the Prophet
Our beautiful Kiley was only 3 when her Daddy and I were married. She and I had a good relationship. Her only regret was having to share her dad with me. One day when we were cleaning the glass on the patio table together, she said “Judy, you know you really should have a baby. Daddy has me to take care of and you don’t have anyone!” I laughed and said maybe Daddy and I could share. I didn’t explain that I had been told I couldn’t have children. -
My Feisty Grandma
Grandma Doris is one of the major reasons that I wanted to start Sidetracked Legacies. She was fun and feisty. But she’s been gone since June 2007 and it’s only now that I realize just how little I actually knew about her.
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Uncle in the Attic? I Had an Aunt in the Garden
One family member that I feel kind of gets overlooked is my Aunt Joan. She is the wife of a very, very, very interesting part of our family, my Uncle Lloyd. He is my father’s brother and we spent a lot of time with this family in Madison, WI. He was quite the guy, let’s say eccentric. His wife, Joan, had to be a saint to put up with him. He was loved unconditionally by most of his family. -
My Dad – Ronald Meister
The most interesting family member in my family is hard to choose. We all have our own idiosyncrasies and quirks. I decided to write about my dad, Ronald Meister. I didn’t get to know my dad as well as I would have liked. He passed away suddenly when I was only twenty-three years old. I had been away from home for several years prior to his death. -
Our Family Loves an Old Curmudgeon!
Me, Uncle Lloyd, & Little John We have many interesting family members, but I’m going to pick one of my favorites. Uncle Lloyd. I could write for days about Uncle Lloyd. He was like a grandpa to me. Many people thought he was just a crabby old man, but I knew different.
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Are Grandparents Obsolete?
Women over fifty (and of course, men also), are all so excited with the prospect of being grandparents. I go along with this as it gives us a second chance, or tries to make up for some of the mistakes that we made with our children. Most of us were probably young and did the best we thought we could, but as our children will most often advise us we often screwed up at some point. -
Walking, Walking, Walking – Keep it Moving
For the past 3 months, my sister and I have been walking the dogs every morning. We are becoming known around the neighborhood as the crazy dog ladies (at least that’s what I think we must look like while walking 4-5 dogs).
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My Dog is Family
What is it with dogs? Are you one of the people that celebrated National Pet Day earlier this month? Do you love a furry friend?
Whoever said that diamonds are a girl’s best friend…obviously never had a dog!
Do you need unconditional love, something to love you forever and ever (sounds great, right!)?
Do you love having something warm and fuzzy to cuddle with, share a bed with?When Mollie, a liver/white tri English Springer Spaniel that was with us for fourteen years died, I said it would be my last.
I just couldn’t put my heart through another heartbreak.
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Helping Your College Student with Homesickness
When my youngest kid left for college this past fall, we went through some significant homesickness. She has always been my “velcro” kid and loves to be home and a part of things. There were a lot of tears and feelings of “I don’t want to go” happening. As a parent that likes to always see her kids happy – this broke my heart. I didn’t know how to help – so I resorted to the Internet to guide me in what to do. After reading a few posts – I decided on my own methods.
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Developing Relationships with Your Mother-in-Law
Here are six tips for having a good relationship with your mother-in-law. -
Parenting Brings Many Happy Memories
‘Chelle’s college graduation Well, I have had many happy parenting moments. Where to start? How about at the beginning.
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My Happy Parenting Moments
Attempt #1My attempts at “parenting” have taken many forms. My first hint of what parenting looked like was at a distance with my two nieces. I lived out of state. I always made sure birthday gifts were received on time and was always available by phone but unlike the real thing, their parents did the heavy lifting. As the girls grew older, I had the wonderful experience of being a confidante and a mentor. I enjoyed this relationship with all my heart and still do. I do understand that this was not “real” parenting.
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It’s the Little Things
I need to call Mom!
I want to be the mom who has kids, that when they mess up, never think “mom’s gonna kill me”. I want their first thought to be “I need to call my mom”. Where did I hear that recently??? It makes me wonder…What builds that kind of relationship? Perhaps the following three events would qualify.
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Becoming a Mom
I have lots of happy parenting memories! There was no question in my mind growing up that I wanted to be a parent. I loved babies!! It was when they started getting a little older that I started to question the idea. I was never the greatest babysitter. I wanted the kids to cooperate and listen to me obediently, but as any parent knows, that’s not what kids do!! -
How Does This Work?
How do you downshift or relax after a sometime (most of the time) stressful day, or just an ordinary, could be boring day.I would like to say that I would leave work, go for a nice casual walk, come home and have a wonderful dinner and then relax for the rest of the night. Unfortunately, this doesn’t ever seem to happen, so when I come home after a very stressful day at work, I like an old-fashioned drink, then I love to (weather permitting) sit out in my patio and just read or listen to the crickets and chill.
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Doing Nothing
The question is how do you downshift at night? How do you relax?
Well for me – it’s very easy. I am not a big drinker, so it’s just a matter of sitting down and doing… NOTHING!!
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Lifetime of Pets
I’m kind of at a negative point as to the need for furry friends in my life. My family has always been a lover of having pets which include dogs, birds, hamsters, guinea pigs, cats, including fish and chameleons (which are not so furry).
I started when I was very young by begging and begging for a dog. My first dog was a chocolate lab named Ginger. At a very young age of, I believe three, we ran away together, got into trouble, and I loved him very much. When he passed, I wished on every birthday cake candle, the first star in the night, etc., for another dog to fill the void. -
A Dog That Loved Me
When I was little everyone around me had dogs. Dogs never liked me much. Our first dog, Trouble, used to growl at me but she loved my sister. So, I decided to adopt a cat. I didn’t know that my mom and dad disliked cats so one day, when I was in school, my white cat disappeared. -
Escape Artist Dogs
I have the greatest furry family members, but also the most obnoxious. I have two labradoodles. The black/grey one is 4, the other apricot/tan one is 2. I always say that they are the smartest dumb dogs I’ve ever met.Both girls are like Houdini. We have a fenced in backyard, but they can ALWAYS figure a way out. Every time I fix one hole, they make a new one. Lily (the baby) is the best at this. We’ve had up to 10 neighbors helping us locate her after she has “disappeared”. She’ll come close to us, but stay just out of reach.
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My Spirit Animal
Stella, Huey, Eli…I am partial to golden retrievers. It is my personality. I guess my spirit animal. I have a friend who channels turtles. There is another who has a “monkey” daughter. I have a passion for golden retrievers. There is a sense of peace, calm, focus, with a hint of unpredictability that appeals. -
Wonderful Grandma Memories
I have some wonderful memories of my Grandmas… They were two very different, yet very special ladies.
