Mom + Dad = Me

dadIf I had to choose which parent I am most like I would say a very little of either, but am a lot like my paternal uncle. 

My dad was very social, loved speaking before groups, and was just really outgoing.  I cannot identify with most of these traits as I am more reserved in large groups, hate public speaking, and am sort of outgoing.  Now, on the other hand, my mother was definitely an introvert.  She depended a lot on my dad for his social support.  When he passed she had to work very hard to become more social and outgoing.  I would say I sort of fit in the middle of these two parents. The most drastic difference between my dad and I was speaking in front of groups.  I always say I would rather give birth than do any kind of public speaking.

My dad was the boss of the family.  All decisions had to go through him. This really drove me crazy and we often clashed because he was also overprotective and seemed to always choose negative decisions in regard to giving permission for my siblings and me to do extracurricular activities.  I, in turn, like to be in total control and make the important decisions.  Unlike him, I don’t make very many negative restrictions in my family. They might not agree, but this is how I see it.  An example of how ridiculous he could be was one time I was asked when I was an older teenager to go on a picnic, horseback riding, and then to the stock car races.  I was going with a group of friends.  My dad would not give me an answer if I could go or not. My friends were actually sitting out in our driveway waiting for me, when he finally said I could go, but I could not go horseback riding.  Right! Well you know I did go horseback riding, but didn’t tell him this.  His making this restriction left me with a feeling of fear all the time I was on what seemed like the largest and most dangerous horse, and I would surely get thrown and either be dead or worse yet paralyzed.  Thanks Dad.   

dadI have the inability to memorize. I believe I’m like my mom in this (I call it a disability).  Try taking tests when you can’t memorize things.  Not a helpful trait.  

My mom and I were like day and night when it came to interacting with my dad.  I couldn’t stand that he was always the decision-maker while she just stood in the background.  This actually made me believe that my mom wasn’t very smart.  This certainly wasn’t true, but her standing in the background left me with that feeling.  He would always be the one to make the final decision and for me, this usually was a negative one. Perhaps this was why I didn’t like him being in charge!!

Now, my dad had a brother who I really identify with more than my parents together.  He liked gardening, creating, and doing fun and different things, and loved to be out in nature. He would share his love of plants and flowers with me.  I would get a call to join him at numerous greenhouses in the spring.  This was a very special time for me and it was fun to see him get excited about my purchases.  We also shared the love of creating fish ponds.  He was always there for me with advice.  Whenever he would come to visit he and my aunt would go to my garden and spend a good part of the day helping me to make it gorgeous and giving me advice.  Sports and TV watching when with family drove him nuts.   Another activity that I shared with my uncle was climbing the hills in the spring in Black Earth, WI.  He, as well as myself, loved this activity as we shared the love of nature and just plain getting away from the tv.  I must say he was also very  “snarky”.  I fit into most of those boxes, and I am told that I am also snarky!   I love to tease, but lately have been told that I am more snarky and not always appreciated.

My family is very interesting, have weird traits, and some are eccentric, and this has helped to create ME!

Who Is Sandy

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