When I turned my key in the apartment door, I always felt the same sadness. I just wanted to go home. I wanted to be with my family.
The move to Colorado back in 2005 had seemed like a good idea. It checked all the boxes. A good job for Michael, and a great school with a hockey team for Matt’s Senior year. It felt right since they had both helped me take such good care of my mom. Now, she had passed. Still, my gut was telling me “Don’t go”.
The family has always held a special place in my heart. When I need someone to talk with, my family understands where I’m coming from. I don’t have to go back and give the whole back story. We’ve lived in the same city, shared the same experiences, and suffered the same joys and the same sorrows. It seems like there is a built-in level of understanding that comes from us knowing each other so well that we can just pick up where we left off last.
When Michael and I were married in 1986, my family was there. They shared the joy that we felt. They were there for Matt’s baptism. Sandy and Art were his Godparents. We had all stood together when Mom took her last breath. We all magically came together that day somehow knowing it was her time. The sorrow was made bearable by having each other.
I always know that my family has my back. It goes without saying that if I need someone or something, my family knows just what to do. We all have similar tastes in food and if we don’t, the other people in the family know our likes and dislikes. When planning a holiday together, we all know what will be important to the others and we plan accordingly. No mushrooms or beans for Brad. That’s a given. I have my moments of insecurity.
When I’m with my family, I feel complete and know that I am loved unconditionally. If I forget that this is the case, they will remind me.
Other friends are often puzzled as to why our family is close. I can’t imagine not being close. I can remember the sick feeling in my stomach when I was leaving Beaver Dam to relocate to Colorado. I could not accept that my family was going to be 900 miles away. When the opportunity presented itself for us to return to Wisconsin, it couldn’t come soon enough.
I appreciate their support and know that sometimes it gets tiring for them to have to set me straight. At the same time, it calms me down to know that they are there.
When we recently lost my husband, Michael, I once again learned the value of support from my family. They all were right there to have my back, to deal with the issues at hand, and to keep me from dissolving into a puddle of grief.
Our family has shared a lifetime of memories. We vacation together for two weeks every summer. All of our holidays and birthdays are spent together. I can’t imagine a life without these valuable family members. They are my rocks and support. And I love them unconditionally.
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