Read to Me…Not

When I was in high school, I loved to read–but not necessarily the books that were assigned in class. Even if I hadn’t read the whole book, I could contribute to the conversation by reading the dust jacket, the first chapter, and the last chapter.

I decided that I would change this habit when I got to college. I signed up for an English literature class. One of the first books we were assigned was Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin. I loved the idea of reading this book. I loved the first line. It is the only first line of any book that I’ve memorized.

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”

I loved the discussions about family, wealth, reputation, social class, and of course, pride and prejudice. But I didn’t actually read it until years later.

As an adult, I’ve loved reading and being read to. I make the time…I read fiction, non-fiction, current authors, and classics. 

There was never a question of whether or not I’d read to my children…

I don’t remember NOT reading to my kids. When we got Luka and Kadon from Russia, they didn’t know English. For some reason, I never felt any lack of communication. But one of the ways I fostered their English skills was reading. I brought home hundreds of beginning readers from my First Grade classroom. Many of these books had limited and repetitive words matched with pictures.–perfect for learning to read understand and speak English.

As the weeks, months, and years went on, we read together every night.

We began with lots of picture books. Mostly I brought these books home from my classroom. They were often books that I had bought myself. They were books that I knew and loved. 

We read fairy tales and nursery rhymes.

One time, as we were driving down Mathias Lane to our house, I pointed out the full moon to my small boys in the back seat. Kadon’s small voice piped up and asked…seriously…”But mom, where IS the cow?” 

The question was so earnest. It made my heart swell to know that he was listening, loving, and connecting to my reading. I responded,

“Hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle 

the cow jumped over the moon

the little dog laughed to see such sport

and the dish ran away with the spoon.”

And then I explained that it was just a silly poem. With a smile I asked him if he could remember all the words all by himself…and he could!

We continued to enjoy books over the years. I mostly chose the books. I loved sharing the books I discovered as a teacher and shared with my students: My Father’s Dragon, Charlotte’s Web, The Magic Tree House series, and Mrs. Piggle Wiggle. As my kids grew, I got to enjoy other authors and stories: The Chronicles of Narnia series, Bridge to Terabithia, Hatchet, Tuck Everlasting, The Giver…

I figured that I would read to my kids until they finished high school. I read to Kadon and Luka through middle school. Aubrey would join us. Luka always fell asleep. But then Kadon was gone so often in the evenings with activities and work that it didn’t make sense to read in the boy’s room anymore. I began reading just to Aubrey. 

With just the two of us, it was as much of a snuggle time as a reading time. I would often sit in her bed and rub her hair as I shared the latest story. The summer before 7th grade, our favorite book was The Little Princess by Frances Hodgen Burnett. I had read The Secret Garden to the kids and this book sounded good. It was so good that we would even stop in the middle of the day, snuggle on my bed, and read an extra chapter or two. It was one of those books that you feel sad when you’re done–it brought us right in. 

Then. last year, Luka was no longer at home, Kadon was away at college, and it was just Aubrey. I asked her if she had a suggestion for what to read next together. Her words stopped me–literally–in my tracks.

“I don’t want you to read to me anymore. Reading is boring,” she said. 

How do you respond to that kind of statement? I tried, unsuccessfully, to not take it personally. I offered to let her choose the stories. 

No dice.

Now it’s the beginning of the second semester of her Freshman year. It’s been a year and a half since we’ve read together. We were talking the other day about her English class. She told me that she did well on her essay…about a book she didn’t read. She said that she read the dust jacket and about half of the book. I asked her if I could read the book to her…

She said, “No.”

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