When I got pregnant for the one time in my life, I was so excited. It didn’t occur to me to want a girl or boy. I just wanted a healthy baby.
Several months later, I had the amniocentesis and we were asked if we wanted to know the sex. We both said YES! I was at work when the hospital called to tell me that 1. We had a healthy baby and 2. The baby was a boy.
I called Michael. He was delighted. When I called mom, she asked “What do you do with a little boy?” She went on to say that all the cute things are made for little girls.
I wasn’t surprised. My mom had three girls and my sister had two girls. No one close to us had a boy. Truthfully, I felt more comfortable with the idea of a boy. I had always been a tom-boy. I enjoyed most sports and found it much easier to be around little boys. I was never comfortable with the drama that seemed to be present in the lives of little girls as they got older.
I always thought that boys like boy stuff because they were raised and taught to like these things. Our son loved trucks and trains and things that made vroom sounds.
We had exposed him to dolls and other girly toys. He enjoyed playing in his play kitchen. His dad was a great cook and often prepared meals so this was something he saw his dad do every day. He loved tools but he wanted the real tools, not the plastic ones.
As he grew older, he loved all sports. He wanted to play hockey, soccer and golf. He shopped for clothes conservatively. If he had a few good pairs of shoes, that was good. He disliked gossiping and talking behind another person’s back.
The two nieces I have loved clothes and dressing in everything fashionable. They were responsible at an early age. My step daughter had this same quality. She was a huge help with her younger sister and brother by the time she was 3.
In truth, I think the differences between boys and girls are formed by differences in the brain and hormones. Boys tend to be more easily stressed and more difficult to calm down. Girls seem to develop language skills earlier. They are also more capable of using both sides of the brain interchangeably. Boys, on the other hand, are generally more single minded and tend to act first and then think it through. Conversely, girls generally think things through first and then act.
I think it is important to treat children differently based on their personalities. It seems that people are tougher on boys than girls. Little boys need to be hugged and cuddled just as much as little girls. This can sometimes get the parent into the pitfall of dealing with the different sexes differently.
In conclusion, I believe that girls are more expensive to raise. Their needs and peer pressure demands seem harder to control. I think it is very important to teach both boys and girls the same values, empathy, respect, confidence, compassion and independence. Both sexes also need to learn ways to problem-solve and to make decisions.
Frankly, I’m glad that I had a little boy. I think I would have been challenged to keep up with fashion statements, cliques and drama. That is not to say that boys don’t have their issues to deal with as well. And the bottom line is that you do the same thing with little boys as you do with little girls. You love them, nurture them and enjoy every quirk that presents itself.