Letting Go

Letting Go

March 20006

It’s been over a month since I’ve talked to my oldest son. Texts, messages, and chats go unanswered. His dad’s birthday has come and gone. Crickets.

Life has rarely been easy parenting Luka. We adopted him from an orphanage in Russia when he was 32 months old. The only thing we knew about his birth mother was that she was a registered alcoholic. He was a loving and sweet boy.

One of his elementary teachers noted about him, that although school was hard for him, he was the most determined and hard-working kid in her class. She was sure that that tenacity would pay off for him in the future. Continue reading

My #1 #2

birthLooking back at some real changes in my life would certainly include the birth of my two daughters.  I am going to focus on the birth of my second child, who I teasingly call my #1 #2. (Get it – she’s my favorite 2nd child)  See I try to make everything even outlining the importance of their being. Continue reading

Lucy the Labradoodle

labradoodleIt was 2013 and I had been living as a single person for almost 5 years.  Sam, our beautiful family black lab, had recently passed due to a horrible but thankfully quick struggle with throat cancer. I decided it was time to get another dog and this time, she was going to be mine.  It was the first time I had been able to make a decision like this on my own. Continue reading

Nature or Nurture?

As an adoptive parent, I only occasionally think about how my kids are like and unlike me. I do see stories frequently about adoptees getting together with birth parents. They recognize all kinds of connections that they’ve never had before. Now they see someone else who loves golf as they do. Or they see where they got their long legs with knobby knees. Or they finally found someone else in the world who pukes at the taste of dark chocolate. Continue reading

I Am My Mother After All

 I was 18 years old and sitting at Mom’s vanity doing my makeup.  Mom came up behind me and put her hands on my shoulders.  I looked from my face to hers and back to mine again and I started to cry a little.  I said,  “Oh My God…  I DO look like you!”  Boy, I sure know how to make someone feel like a million bucks!  That’s just one way that I’m like my mom.   Continue reading

Mom + Dad = Me

dadIf I had to choose which parent I am most like I would say a very little of either, but am a lot like my paternal uncle. 

My dad was very social, loved speaking before groups, and was just really outgoing.  I cannot identify with most of these traits as I am more reserved in large groups, hate public speaking, and am sort of outgoing.  Now, on the other hand, my mother was definitely an introvert.  She depended a lot on my dad for his social support.  When he passed she had to work very hard to become more social and outgoing.  I would say I sort of fit in the middle of these two parents. The most drastic difference between my dad and I was speaking in front of groups.  I always say I would rather give birth than do any kind of public speaking. Continue reading

The Professional Worrier

worrierMy parents shared many of their characteristics with me. Some were learned and some were in my genes.

Dad was a procrastinator. He would finish dinner, sit down to watch something on TV, and often would fall asleep. He’d wake up when it was time to go to bed and then he’d start working. Continue reading

No Laughing at the Dinner Table

Mom and Dad had some interesting phrases that they repeated on numerous occasions.

Dad #1

One of our favorite parts of the day was when the family got together in the dining room for dinner Something would hit one of our funny bones and we would start laughing. Next, the whole table was laughing and joking. Dad would seriously interject “Cut it out or someone is going to be crying soon”. The sad part was that he was often right. He would get impatient with the frivolity and one of us would get in trouble. Then the tears would start.

Dad #2

I used to love to debate with Dad. I didn’t consider it arguing but apparently, he did. When he felt backed into a corner, his next phrase was “Don’t talk back to me young lady”. At that point, I had to stop debating and quietly leave the discussion. Continue reading

If Your Dad Knew About This…

When my kids get into trouble, I am so glad that I’m not a single parent, Craig and I both are involved in the ups and downs of parenting.

if your dad knew about this

When I was a child and got into trouble, my mom was the primary caregiver, the default parent,  and the dealer of discipline. But the secret of her power was found in one little phrase…”If your father found out/knew about this, he would be so disappointed.”

That little phrase had the power to shape me because she was right. AND his disappointment was like a sledgehammer. Here is one example… Continue reading

Someday When I’m Dead and Gone…

“Some day when I’m dead and gone… then you’ll appreciate me”.  I can’t even count the number of times I’ve heard that phrase from Mom’s mouth when I’m doing or saying something to her that she doesn’t like. Continue reading