My Dog is Family

What is it with dogs? Are you one of the people that celebrated National Pet Day earlier this month? Do you love a furry friend?

Whoever said that diamonds are a girl’s best friend…obviously never had a dog!

Do you need unconditional love, something to love you forever and ever (sounds great, right!)?  

furry friendsDo you love having something warm and fuzzy to cuddle with, share a bed with?

When Mollie, a liver/white tri English Springer Spaniel that was with us for fourteen years died, I said it would be my last.  

I just couldn’t put my heart through another heartbreak.  

Well, six months passed, and guess what?  We broke down and got another fuzzy creature. She is a black/white tri-colored springer spaniel named Emma.  What a sweetheart, a pain in the ass, a total companion, a bed hog, has her own opinion and needs, and we wouldn’t give her up for anything.  

Furry Friends – The PROS…

I have read that owning a pet has several benefits for older adults.  This includes higher levels of physical activity…which results in better health.  Having a dog forces us to create daily routines or to have a  purpose to get out and MOVE. 

furry friendsDogs offer emotional support and give us something to talk about with other people (other than how upset we are with the latest political announcement or our upcoming knee surgery).

With a dog, you get constant love and affection, unconditional adoration (we all can use a little of that), lots and lots of wet sloppy kisses, and let’s not forget the lack of bed space.  Is this a pro? Well, some of us might think so.  

…and the CONS

The case against owning a canine fur baby is as follows (but not limited to):  Constant dog hair on your pants, brown spots in a once lush green lawn, ongoing poop duty, and the frustration when they are trying to communicate, but you don’t agree (time to go to bed or wanting to stay outside).

furry friends

Dogs also need exercise, rain or shine, cold or warm.  If you are sick, or well, you need to suck it up and get out there with a potty bag and treats in your pocket.  How about the grooming duties, brushing, and teeth brushing (yes, we are supposed to actually brush a dog’s teeth). 

I could do without the muddy paws prints on my white kitchen floor and cream living room carpet in the spring and rainy weather. 

It is also a pain in the ass standing outside in the freezing cold, in the middle of the night,  (even when Fido doesn’t really have to do anything) because he just wants you to be awake with him.  

I, personally, have had a lot of pets including, birds of all shapes and sizes, chameleons, fish, hamsters, turtles. But my nine dogs (over the years) are in a special category that is unique and exclusive…

Companion

Confidant

Family

I have read or heard it from somewhere that the best compliment to a deceased pet is to replace it with another. I totally agree. Or, to quote American novelist, satirist, and poet, Erica Jong…

 ” Dogs come into our lives to teach us about love, they depart to teach us about loss. A new dog never replaces an old dog; it merely expands the heart. If you have loved many dogs, your heart is very big.”

Who Is Sandy
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What to Do When Your Body is Falling Apart

What do you do when your an active woman with a full life and your body starts to fall apart? Well, I made an appointment to see my primary care physician…

At the office visit, my doctor informed me that that I no longer needed a mammogram, pap smear, or colonoscopy.  I found this interesting so I asked, “Why is that?”  He skirted around the question, but I guessed, “You mean I am just too old?” 

Well, the fact is, say…if cancer is detected,  I am actually too old to go through the process of working on a cure or whatever….

body

Midlife: That time in your life when you finally get your head together and your body starts to fall apart!

WOW!

HELLO?

Let that sink in a moment.

That made me feel, kind of, sort of WEIRD. 

I never thought that when you got older you kind of just let things go since they are going to go to hell anyway.  I guess I’m just not quite ready for that mindset.

So are we just supposed to die young?  It seems to me that our bodies are set to work until a certain age and then they seem to fall apart. (I seem to have gone past the life expectancy of my right knee!)

I have come to the conclusion that the reason the life expectancy of people years ago was much younger was that the body parts are for a certain age. If you have to deal with worn-out knees, painful hips, or other decrepit joints, it just really takes the life right out of you. 

I had been doing really well–physically, that is.  (We won’t talk about mentally.) I love to exercise–mostly walking with my dog, Emma. Well, I loved to when I had a knee that actually worked. 

But you want to know what is so hard about this whole situation? I don’t want to be “layed up” for weeks and weeks! I have always prided myself on being in fair shape.  But now that I have reached the ripe old age of xx, o.k. 76, I am really bummed out about this because I don’t have the time or the patience to have downtime or a recoup time.  My life has to go on. as. it. is.  

body

If you look around, you will see people with canes, walkers, wheelchairs.  That is because their longevity has run out and they are spending a lot of time and money just trying to keep their muscles,  joints, and bodies working.  

I now understand, but don’t want to believe it.  

So, here is to one knee replacement, with another one to follow.  Onward you old body. You need to keep up with my wants and my desire to keep active and enjoy life.

So, if you ever find yourself in a similar position, your body seems to be ready to leave the party (and way too soon for the rest of you)…suck it up! Do whatever it takes to make your body do what it takes to keep up with your active lifestyle. 

Life is too short to waste.

Pain sucks.

Let’s fix this old body and get on with living!

Who Is Sandy

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Be True To Yourself

love youselfWhile we are all trying to improve ourselves and make the most out of our lives, one thing that we must keep in mind is to be true to yourself.  Following what society expects or desires you to be or to look like or to accomplish does nothing for you if you don’t agree with those expectations.  All you end up doing is frustrating yourself.  Here are 5 things to consider when trying to fit into society’s expectations and also be true to yourself.

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Helping Your College Student with Homesickness

Homesickness

When my youngest kid left for college this past fall, we went through some significant homesickness.  She has always been my “velcro” kid and loves to be home and a part of things.  There were a lot of tears and feelings of “I don’t want to go” happening.  As a parent that likes to always see her kids happy – this broke my heart.  I didn’t know how to help – so I resorted to the Internet to guide me in what to do.  After reading a few posts – I decided on my own methods.

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The Emotional Bank Account

When I was growing up, I always thought relationships had to be 50/50. Give and take needed to be equal or the relationship would not succeed. 

In reality, what I discovered was that relationships almost always consist of an unequal number of contributions. If one person is having a great day, they might contribute 80%. If the other person was having a bad day or a troublesome day, their contribution might only be 20% or less. The goal was to have the total equal to 100%. Unfortunately, that didn’t always happen. 

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Developing Relationships with Your Mother-in-Law

Mother-in-lawHere are six tips for having a good relationship with your mother-in-law.

Doris wasn’t just a mother-in-law, but a fabulous friend.  Personally, I feel she had quite a bit more to overlook in me in the beginning as I was selfish, opinionated, and just plain stupid. Example – I had my second child and was not up to par.  It was spring and, of course, flower planting time.  I being the perfectionist (and this is where stupid and selfish comes in) did the unthinkable…  To be nice she planted a peachy/pink bed of petunias in an area where I would usually put, I think, red.  Would you believe that when I felt up to it, I actually replaced her petunias with my preferred color?  When I think of that today I just cringe.  She never said a word, but I’ll bet she was not impressed with me.  

Tip 1 – Be thankful for the little things they do for you and be gracious

When my husband and I started going together we were of different religions.  I was with a girlfriend that was Lutheran, the same as my mother-in-law, and she said to me.  “Why doesn’t Art find a nice Lutheran girl to date?”  At the time I was appalled.  Today I think it is pretty funny as later in life I turned to Lutheran and she turned to the religion that I had been for her second husband.

Tip 2 – Don’t sweat the small stuff.  There is always tomorrow and things change

The two of us came from entirely different backgrounds.  She was a farm girl and I was a city brat.  Her taste was totally different than mine and we had a good time teasing about my exotic, or just plain different taste than hers.  One time after putting up a half-moon mirror in my family room I asked her what she thought and she replied, “I think it looks totally stupid.”  O.K. then!!!  I had grown up enough by this time to actually laugh it off and I still have that totally stupid mirror still hanging in my family room.

Tip 3 – Appreciate true honesty and don’t take it personally

She was always there when I needed her, or just a phone call away.  She actually got a warning ticket for speeding on Center Street to come and wash my kitchen floor.  I was getting ready for one of the girl’s weddings and she thought I could use some help.  The officer asked her where she was going in such a hurry, 50 in a 25-speed zone, and she said to wash my daughter-in-law’s floor. He gave her a warning, but I’ll bet there were a few laughs down at the station after that. I hope none of them knew me so as to judge me, expecting this poor older lady to wash my kitchen floor?.  

Tip 4 – Appreciate the things they do for you even if it is not necessary

When I planted my perennial garden I worked during the day and had to get my plants in after dark for some reason.  My mother and mother-in-law sat on logs in my backyard with flashlights to help me see what I was doing.  My backyard neighbor had to hang over the fence in the morning to see what the hell was going on. 

Tip 5 –  Appreciate the big things they do for you

I could go on and on.  She has since passed on and I miss her terribly.  I miss our late evening gab sessions on the phone.  Her stories that went on and on, and her being there for me was so enjoyable.  Sure, she made me a little crazy sometimes, but I learned to overlook her differences and she overlooked mine.  When she told me that I was more like a daughter to her than a daughter-in-law that was the ultimate compliment.  

Tip 6 –  Enjoy their differences and learn from them

They seem to have a book of knowledge that they love to share.  Remember that they also compete with your own mother on most occasions and also learn how not to tread on toes.

Who Is Sandy
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The Innocence of Youth

Mom and I went out the door hand in hand and headed to the bus stop.  Mom didn’t drive when we were little so the two of us did our weekly trek to catch the bus for downtown.  We would do our errands and then do our grocery shopping and finally take a taxi home with our treasures and groceries. 

InnocenceThree-year-old me ran up the steps and found a seat for us near the front of the bus.  Most of the people that rode the bus back in the day knew each other.  This day there was a man that was unfamiliar.  Something was a bit different about him.  I tried to whisper to Mom but my voice came out a bit loud.  I asked how come that man had such a dirty face.  She shushed me but too late.  The man had heard my question.  He told me that his skin was a different color than mine. I asked him why and he answered that he was born that way.  He asked Mom if I wanted to touch his skin.  She quietly declined and I climbed up in her lap. Continue reading

How Do I Love Thee – Let Me Count The Ways…

love about myselfWhat do I love about myself is the question of the day.  It’s a challenging question to answer because people tend to focus more on the negative aspects of themselves.  I’m choosing to try to be more positive, so I’m actually having a hard time picking just one thing.  That will most likely sound conceited to some.  Here are a few things that I’m proud of about myself.

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How to be a (Worst) Friend

I am well well-suited to write this post for I fulfill the top three qualifications to be the worst friend…

I’ve always loved being with friends, laughing and hanging with great women, drinking and sharing memories with others who appreciate a self-deprecating story.

family friends

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Friends – Both Old and New – I Love You All!

Best Friends

My BFFs

Are you the type of person that has lots of friends around you or just one or two good ones?  Throughout my life, I’ve had a few different people that I considered my good friends.  

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