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Midlife MasterClass–Trailer
You will be able to tune into the podcast beginning January 2022. I’m starting a podcast called “Midlife MasterClass”.
A couple of weeks ago I asked for help in choosing between two podcast covers. One cover was a bold graphic design and the other was more personal with a picture of me. The overwhelming choice was the more personal picture. Thank you to everyone who commented and messaged me with encouragement.
Now I’m on to phase 2…the trailer for my podcast.
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Gratitude or Appreciation? You get to choose..
Gratitude or appreciation…When I was a little girl my parents taught me to always say “please” and “thank you” when appropriate. I can remember if I forgot, Mom would say “what do you say?” and the correct answer was ”thank you”. When we learn these words, often the true meaning and importance is lost on us. As children, we don’t necessarily understand the emotion of appreciation that is supposed to be tied to the words. Now as adults, we still bypass the simple, daily act of thankfulness. But being grateful is a habit that will always serve us well throughout our lives. Always.
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Are Grandparents Obsolete?
Women over fifty (and of course, men also), are all so excited with the prospect of being grandparents. I go along with this as it gives us a second chance, or tries to make up for some of the mistakes that we made with our children. Most of us were probably young and did the best we thought we could, but as our children will most often advise us we often screwed up at some point. -
Gray or Nay?!
I have been dying my hair since, I don’t know, about fifteen (I think). It feels like I HAVE always colored my hair and WILL always color my hair. However, it seems like I have been fighting with my daughter, Lisa, for years about the whole concept of “going gray”. She fears that I am continuing this procedure way past the time it is cool or attractive for me. I believe she SHOULD continue to dye her hair.
The question is, when is the proper time to just let it go gray? (Hopefully, when I say gray I mean a wonderful shade of white/silver-gray that complements my features, brings out the green in my eyes, gives me perky breasts, makes me look 10 pounds lighter, lengthens my legs …)
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Talking to Yourself
Last week, half of the sisters were out of town, so Lisa and I met one on one. These are rare occasions since we both have commitments that keep us very busy and out of trouble. I was thinking about how pleasant our visit was and then I got sidetracked (surprise, surprise).I realized as I thought back, that during our visit, I was sending myself very negative messages about guess who? ME. I have a wonderful relationship with my husband, my son, my sister and her husband, my nieces and their families, and my stepdaughter and her family. Sadly, the worst relationship I have seems to be with myself.
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Faith
Where do you do church?
How should a church look?
These seem to be two very controversial questions lately. Especially after COVID, where we have all been confined to our homes, apartments, (or wherever we might have the fortune or misfortune to find ourselves)…spiritual practice rules are up for debate. -
Walking, Walking, Walking – Keep it Moving
For the past 3 months, my sister and I have been walking the dogs every morning. We are becoming known around the neighborhood as the crazy dog ladies (at least that’s what I think we must look like while walking 4-5 dogs).
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Update–8 Weeks Later
Whenever I’ve done one of those life evaluation surveys or goal setting or tried to start a new habit, it always feels so good to begin on a Monday or on the first day of the month. I’m not a big fan of January 1 resolutions. But I do like re-evaluations and starting new habits at the beginning of seasons–fall and summer both coincide with the beginning/end of a school year. But this time I’ve gone rogue and set myself up with a public weight loss challenge.
I posted 8 weeks ago that I planned to drop 8 pounds because bulge had crept to my middle and set up housekeeping. Now it was time to lose those 8 pounds. I stated that I would provide an update on June 1st…
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Share the Love
In our neighborhood, there is a person who lives at the corner who hangs dog treats on the bushes next to the sidewalk. A small sign tells dog walkers to “Please take one.”
She is putting a little love out into the world.
The other day, I saw a woman in the grocery checkout line who was wearing a dress identical to one that I own. I thought that it looked nice on her. A few minutes later, as I was driving out of the parking lot, I saw the same woman. She was walking to her car with her shopping cart. I rolled down my window and hollered “Hey, I just wanted to tell you how great you look in that dress. I have the same one at home and I love it.” She replied, “Thanks, I got it on sale at Kohls.” I answered back, “Yeah, I even wear it just like you do, with leggings and a jacket”.
Just putting a little love out into the world.
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My Dog is Family
What is it with dogs? Are you one of the people that celebrated National Pet Day earlier this month? Do you love a furry friend?
Whoever said that diamonds are a girl’s best friend…obviously never had a dog!
Do you need unconditional love, something to love you forever and ever (sounds great, right!)?
Do you love having something warm and fuzzy to cuddle with, share a bed with?When Mollie, a liver/white tri English Springer Spaniel that was with us for fourteen years died, I said it would be my last.
I just couldn’t put my heart through another heartbreak.
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What to Do When Your Body is Falling Apart
What do you do when your an active woman with a full life and your body starts to fall apart? Well, I made an appointment to see my primary care physician…
Midlife: That time in your life when you finally get your head together and your body starts to fall apart! At the office visit, my doctor informed me that that I no longer needed a mammogram, pap smear, or colonoscopy. I found this interesting so I asked, “Why is that?” He skirted around the question, but I guessed, “You mean I am just too old?”
Well, the fact is, say…if cancer is detected, I am actually too old to go through the process of working on a cure or whatever….
WOW!
HELLO?
Let that sink in a moment.
That made me feel, kind of, sort of WEIRD.
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Be True To Yourself
While we are all trying to improve ourselves and make the most out of our lives, one thing that we must keep in mind is to be true to yourself. Following what society expects or desires you to be or to look like or to accomplish does nothing for you if you don’t agree with those expectations. All you end up doing is frustrating yourself. Here are 5 things to consider when trying to fit into society’s expectations and also be true to yourself. -
Helping Your College Student with Homesickness
When my youngest kid left for college this past fall, we went through some significant homesickness. She has always been my “velcro” kid and loves to be home and a part of things. There were a lot of tears and feelings of “I don’t want to go” happening. As a parent that likes to always see her kids happy – this broke my heart. I didn’t know how to help – so I resorted to the Internet to guide me in what to do. After reading a few posts – I decided on my own methods.
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The Emotional Bank Account
When I was growing up, I always thought relationships had to be 50/50. Give and take needed to be equal or the relationship would not succeed. In reality, what I discovered was that relationships almost always consist of an unequal number of contributions. If one person is having a great day, they might contribute 80%. If the other person was having a bad day or a troublesome day, their contribution might only be 20% or less. The goal was to have the total equal to 100%. Unfortunately, that didn’t always happen.
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Developing Relationships with Your Mother-in-Law
Here are six tips for having a good relationship with your mother-in-law. -
The Innocence of Youth
Mom and I went out the door hand in hand and headed to the bus stop. Mom didn’t drive when we were little so the two of us did our weekly trek to catch the bus for downtown. We would do our errands and then do our grocery shopping and finally take a taxi home with our treasures and groceries.
Three-year-old me ran up the steps and found a seat for us near the front of the bus. Most of the people that rode the bus back in the day knew each other. This day there was a man that was unfamiliar. Something was a bit different about him. I tried to whisper to Mom but my voice came out a bit loud. I asked how come that man had such a dirty face. She shushed me but too late. The man had heard my question. He told me that his skin was a different color than mine. I asked him why and he answered that he was born that way. He asked Mom if I wanted to touch his skin. She quietly declined and I climbed up in her lap. -
Parenting Brings Many Happy Memories
‘Chelle’s college graduation Well, I have had many happy parenting moments. Where to start? How about at the beginning.
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There is a Difference Between Being a Friend and an Enabler
I have always prided myself on being a good friend, but unfortunately, I had a very bad experience at trying to be just that.
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How Do I Love Thee – Let Me Count The Ways…
What do I love about myself is the question of the day. It’s a challenging question to answer because people tend to focus more on the negative aspects of themselves. I’m choosing to try to be more positive, so I’m actually having a hard time picking just one thing. That will most likely sound conceited to some. Here are a few things that I’m proud of about myself. -
How to be a (Worst) Friend
I am well well-suited to write this post for I fulfill the top three qualifications to be the worst friend…
I’ve always loved being with friends, laughing and hanging with great women, drinking and sharing memories with others who appreciate a self-deprecating story.
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Friends – Both Old and New – I Love You All!
My BFFs Are you the type of person that has lots of friends around you or just one or two good ones? Throughout my life, I’ve had a few different people that I considered my good friends.
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I Love Me – I Love Me Not!
What is something I love about myself? And Why? Good grief. When someone asks me a question like this, my first response is “I have absolutely no idea”. Then when I get quiet and dig deeper, I find a thing or two. -
Want a Friend? Be a Friend!
When I was a little girl, I always felt like I didn’t have any friends. I was raised in a neighborhood of all boys. Play revolved around playing cowboys and Indians and other games that involved me being the only girl. I must say since I was the only one with cowboy boots and a holster set, I often played a lead role. I would pretend to be Roy Rogers or The Lone Ranger. Most of the boys were younger and smaller than I was so they didn’t argue with me. They followed my lead. -
Will You Marry Me?
What is a compliment?This can come in many ways. It could be when you were asked to prom, homecoming, or more exciting a marriage proposal.
I think my best compliment was my wedding proposal. Even though, in my case, it was when we were very young, but, guess what it is still working. Sometimes I don’t know how, but it is still in the work. I often kid that I need a medal, but, in fact, we both probably do. We have figured how to make this union work.
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Compliments vs. Insults
I’ve had a tough time writing this post. I’ve erased and started over multiple times. I wrote it to the end once and when I read it back to myself. I wanted to gag, so it too was deleted.The truth is, I don’t remember being complimented. It is much easier to remember the snarky remarks and yes, even the insults. Compliments? Not so much.
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My Happy Parenting Moments
Attempt #1My attempts at “parenting” have taken many forms. My first hint of what parenting looked like was at a distance with my two nieces. I lived out of state. I always made sure birthday gifts were received on time and was always available by phone but unlike the real thing, their parents did the heavy lifting. As the girls grew older, I had the wonderful experience of being a confidante and a mentor. I enjoyed this relationship with all my heart and still do. I do understand that this was not “real” parenting.
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I AM ENOUGH!!
I’m trying to think of what my best compliment is. Is this an easy thing for other people to come up with? I’ve been thinking about this and I seem to only think of insults that I’ve received. Unfortunately, it’s very easy to come up with a lot of negative comments or insults, but not as easy to come up with the compliments. I think that’s a problem for a lot of people. The negative things are much easier to believe. What’s the quote from Pretty Woman… “People put you down enough, you start to believe it.” and “The bad stuff is easier to believe… ever notice that?”
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It’s the Little Things
I need to call Mom!
I want to be the mom who has kids, that when they mess up, never think “mom’s gonna kill me”. I want their first thought to be “I need to call my mom”. Where did I hear that recently??? It makes me wonder…What builds that kind of relationship? Perhaps the following three events would qualify.
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Forgive and Forget vs. Confront, Fight, and Fix
I recently read the book “All About Love” and connected with the author, bell hooks, when she said that “Women believe it is a sign of commitment, an expression of love, to endure unkindness or cruelty, to forgive and forget”.I was married during college to a bright and passionate young man. We were married for 12 tumultuous years. During that time, I believed that everything must be done to save the relationship.
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Does Your Talk Match Your Walk?
Do I walk my talk? Do I follow through? Do my actions match my words? Do I do as I say? Sadly, in many cases, I would have to say NO…I feel kind of creepy admitting that because my intentions are always good. If I get down right honest, I often think out loud. I try out ideas like I try on clothes. When I speak my words and I look for reactions. My need to please is strong, so if the reactions to my thoughts out loud are too severe, I may go another direction. -
Practice What You Preach
I feel I definitely practice what I preach most of the time. For years and years, I’ve said I wanted a cottage on a lake. Now, it wasn’t just any lake or just any area, but I wanted it to be on South Lake Michigan Drive in Door County, WI, on Lake Michigan.
I always knew I was going to do this. We didn’t know how, didn’t know when, but it was going to happen. It had to. I put pictures up at work, constantly looked at the availability of properties and there was nothing… especially in our price range.
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Too Much Profanity!
I wish kids today (including my own) wouldn’t use profanity as much as they do. I really feel that there are so many more productive ways to express oneself other than swearing. This is something I strongly believe, BUT…. do I follow thru myself? Not so much.
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Perfect Time for Gratitude
Sometimes I get really down and crabby. This has been one of those times for me, so tonight when we decided to express our “Gratitude List”, I felt like the timing was perfect. Coincidentally, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I think the “Universe” is telling me to be grateful and thankful.I realize that my greatest lessons have actually come from the most challenging and difficult times in my life. I am truly grateful for my resilience and my ability to be strong and to come back even when circumstances feel like I’m drowning in despair.
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Calm First to Appreciate More
A gratitude list implies that I have numerous things to be thankful for…
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What I’m Grateful For
Have you ever created a gratitude list? This seems like an appropriate time of the year to do this kind of thing. (Although – you shouldn’t save this idea for only this time of the year)There are so many things that I could put on my gratitude list. I’m sure I’ll miss a few, but here is my start to the list:
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I’m So Grateful
Well, it is a day before Thanksgiving and as well as being thankful, I am grateful as well for so many things.I have a wonderful family and I love and know they love me (most of the time that is). That is something to be thankful and grateful to start with. I feel I ponder on the past and present and know that I have been so lucky in so many areas. I think the hardest thing I had to overcome was the lack of my self-confidence and assurance that I am worth what I have earned and achieved.
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5 Love Languages – ‘Chelle
Have you ever heard of The 5 Love Languages? It is a book that I think EVERYONE should read!! I swear by the information in this book!!
Basically – there are 5 ways that people give and receive love.
1. Words of Affirmation – This language uses words to affirm other people.
2. Acts of Service – For these people, actions speak louder than words.
3. Quality Time – This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention.
4. Physical Touch – To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch.
5. Gift Giving – For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift.
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I Take Commitments Seriously!
I was the one in our family that always swore when I got married, it would be for life. I said that I take my commitments very seriously and wouldn’t renege on them. Then life got in the way.
I was so shy in school that I could barely say hello to a boy in the hallway. I was very uncomfortable having a conversation with someone of the opposite sex.
My sister was always popular. She had boyfriends at a young age and handled herself well. She married at age 19 some 55 years ago in July.
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Protected: Getting Used to Divorce
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Is Divorce the Answer?
Just hit the print button. that is what I say to anyone who has just plain had it in their insufficient marital status. I use this jokingly and unfortunately, have used the phrase for a serious situation also. You see, I have worked in a law office for 55 years and have seen so many divorces, I wouldn’t even be able to count. -
How Does This Work?
How do you downshift or relax after a sometime (most of the time) stressful day, or just an ordinary, could be boring day.I would like to say that I would leave work, go for a nice casual walk, come home and have a wonderful dinner and then relax for the rest of the night. Unfortunately, this doesn’t ever seem to happen, so when I come home after a very stressful day at work, I like an old-fashioned drink, then I love to (weather permitting) sit out in my patio and just read or listen to the crickets and chill.
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Doing Nothing
The question is how do you downshift at night? How do you relax?
Well for me – it’s very easy. I am not a big drinker, so it’s just a matter of sitting down and doing… NOTHING!!
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Lifetime of Pets
I’m kind of at a negative point as to the need for furry friends in my life. My family has always been a lover of having pets which include dogs, birds, hamsters, guinea pigs, cats, including fish and chameleons (which are not so furry).
I started when I was very young by begging and begging for a dog. My first dog was a chocolate lab named Ginger. At a very young age of, I believe three, we ran away together, got into trouble, and I loved him very much. When he passed, I wished on every birthday cake candle, the first star in the night, etc., for another dog to fill the void. -
A Dog That Loved Me
When I was little everyone around me had dogs. Dogs never liked me much. Our first dog, Trouble, used to growl at me but she loved my sister. So, I decided to adopt a cat. I didn’t know that my mom and dad disliked cats so one day, when I was in school, my white cat disappeared. -
Escape Artist Dogs
I have the greatest furry family members, but also the most obnoxious. I have two labradoodles. The black/grey one is 4, the other apricot/tan one is 2. I always say that they are the smartest dumb dogs I’ve ever met.Both girls are like Houdini. We have a fenced in backyard, but they can ALWAYS figure a way out. Every time I fix one hole, they make a new one. Lily (the baby) is the best at this. We’ve had up to 10 neighbors helping us locate her after she has “disappeared”. She’ll come close to us, but stay just out of reach.
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My Spirit Animal
Stella, Huey, Eli…I am partial to golden retrievers. It is my personality. I guess my spirit animal. I have a friend who channels turtles. There is another who has a “monkey” daughter. I have a passion for golden retrievers. There is a sense of peace, calm, focus, with a hint of unpredictability that appeals. -
One Little Resolution
The family was at the cottage and the tv was on a local station. Five celebrities were looking back over the past year, they played a snippet of last year’s show…resolutions for the upcoming 2014 year. Did our famous group achieve their goals? (meditation, fitness, weight loss, meatless Thursdays, and book reading)? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Although the book reader didn’t even remember her goal until it was shown on playback, ALL achieved their resolution for 2014. The secret? Well, I believe it is in the missing s. Did you notice the title Resolution(s). Well, the achievable number of “New Year Resolutions” is exactly ONE. -
Wonderful Grandma Memories
I have some wonderful memories of my Grandmas… They were two very different, yet very special ladies.
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Camping with OCD
As a kid, we always camped in a huge 12 person tent and it felt like the lap of luxury. -
Smokey Smelling Sleeping Bags and Campfire Songs
Camping…growing up, I lived for tent camping every summer. I like the smell of a smoky sleeping bag, the feel of a squishy air mattress protecting me from the bumpy ground, and the sound of a zipper closing for the night. -
Raccoons Don’t Eat Dill Pickles
Whenever I tell people that I love to camp they look at me strangely and say “you don’t look like the camping type”. Then they ask “Do you have an RV?” to which I reply “No, we sleep in a tent!” At that point my credibility is suspect. No matter. My happy memories are amazing. -
Camping Memories
I absolutely love camping.
