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Talking to Yourself
Last week, half of the sisters were out of town, so Lisa and I met one on one. These are rare occasions since we both have commitments that keep us very busy and out of trouble. I was thinking about how pleasant our visit was and then I got sidetracked (surprise, surprise).I realized as I thought back, that during our visit, I was sending myself very negative messages about guess who? ME. I have a wonderful relationship with my husband, my son, my sister and her husband, my nieces and their families, and my stepdaughter and her family. Sadly, the worst relationship I have seems to be with myself.
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Think and Grow What???
I recently reread the 1937 version of Napoleon Hills’ “Think and Grow Rich”. Mr. Hill opens his first chapter with the phrase “Thoughts are Things”. He goes on to say that when we mix our thoughts with purpose, persistence, and a burning desire for their translation into riches or other material objects, these thoughts have the power to create what we are desirous of. Wow. That’s quite a statement.
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How to Deal with Impatience and Not Go Crazy
Lately, I find that I have absolutely no patience with the people and things around me. I’m sure my family will say that I’m always like that, but I think it’s been getting worse. Yesterday, I found myself slamming my phone down on my desk simply because the screen would go into sleep mode too soon. Today, I feel like I’m just trying to pick a fight with anyone that crosses my path. Even as I sit here writing this, I can hear the person across the table from me crunching on food and it’s making me feel crazy. -
Voiceless Woman
I remember driving with my mom in the passenger seat. I might comment on a pretty house. She answered me with silence.
When I asked my mom for her opinion on how a new dress looked on me, she would reply with “I wonder what it would look like on me?” She wouldn’t answer my question.
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Be True To Yourself
While we are all trying to improve ourselves and make the most out of our lives, one thing that we must keep in mind is to be true to yourself. Following what society expects or desires you to be or to look like or to accomplish does nothing for you if you don’t agree with those expectations. All you end up doing is frustrating yourself. Here are 5 things to consider when trying to fit into society’s expectations and also be true to yourself. -
To Meditate or NOT to Meditate
Meditation is supposed to be a wonderful way to relax, come to terms with your inner self, help relax your body, help your mind focus, blah, blah, blah.
Well, you know what? I have found meditation to be a huge waste of time. I have tried, really, I have tried!
Come on inner peace…I don’t have all day! (I know people around me would sa I HAVEN’T really tried,(see here) but that is just not true.)
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Helping Your College Student with Homesickness
When my youngest kid left for college this past fall, we went through some significant homesickness. She has always been my “velcro” kid and loves to be home and a part of things. There were a lot of tears and feelings of “I don’t want to go” happening. As a parent that likes to always see her kids happy – this broke my heart. I didn’t know how to help – so I resorted to the Internet to guide me in what to do. After reading a few posts – I decided on my own methods.
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The Emotional Bank Account
When I was growing up, I always thought relationships had to be 50/50. Give and take needed to be equal or the relationship would not succeed. In reality, what I discovered was that relationships almost always consist of an unequal number of contributions. If one person is having a great day, they might contribute 80%. If the other person was having a bad day or a troublesome day, their contribution might only be 20% or less. The goal was to have the total equal to 100%. Unfortunately, that didn’t always happen.
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Is It Time to Jump Ship?
How do you know when it is time to leave…
to retire…
to change jobs…
to jump ship and switch careers?
Maybe you are looking for an “aha” moment to point you in the right direction.
A signal that shows it. is. time…
I am a teacher. I have been a teacher for more than 20 years. I’ve always known that my passion is dreaming…learning…
teaching.
That was until the beginning of November 2015.
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How Do I Love Thee – Let Me Count The Ways…
What do I love about myself is the question of the day. It’s a challenging question to answer because people tend to focus more on the negative aspects of themselves. I’m choosing to try to be more positive, so I’m actually having a hard time picking just one thing. That will most likely sound conceited to some. Here are a few things that I’m proud of about myself. -
50th Birthday – Setting Goals for the Year
OMG – this year will mark my 50th birthday. Thinking about this has brought to mind some things that need to change and some goals I need to achieve. I’m currently single, overweight, and will soon have no kids at home. It’ll be just me and the animals. Do I want to spend the next part of my life in the same way that I’ve been living? -
My Latest “AHA” Moment
Hhhmmm… I sat down at my desk and opened my daily calendar. Suddenly it hit me. Today is April 4, 2019, and I am turning 70 years old. Most of the people I know, who are my age, seem to have their act together. Several friends own lovely cabins up North. People I graduated from High School with have substantial pensions and retirement funds. Others have retired and are traveling and seeing the world. I always thought I would be enjoying these things too. Instead, I was still working at the bank and as much as I enjoyed helping others reach their goals, working at the bank was no longer one of mine.
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Retirement Reality
My aha moment came many weeks, months, after my retirement last year. I realized it after 56 years of working as a paralegal/legal secretary for the same firm my boss retired and the office closed. It is hard to break old habits, like cleaning at night and on weekends, never having any free time without feeling guilty, and being able to have some free time for myself. My aha moment came when one day many months later I realized, while I was on a road trip with a friend, that I didn’t have any real-time constraints other than my family needing me to come back for things such as cleaning, cooking, driving grandkids around, you know, the usual. We were driving along and I thought aha, I am on my own at this moment and don’t have to go to work. No one was expecting me to get out a will, do divorce papers, real estate documents, correspondence, and the list goes on. -
I Love Me – I Love Me Not!
What is something I love about myself? And Why? Good grief. When someone asks me a question like this, my first response is “I have absolutely no idea”. Then when I get quiet and dig deeper, I find a thing or two. -
Lazy or Just Inadequate?
Am I lazy or just inadequate?? I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Both in my personal life and my work life. In my work life, I’ve said for years that I want to get back to my computer programming/development skills. I have all the tools I need to refresh this information in my head, so why don’t I accomplish this? What is holding me back from accomplishing this goal?
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I Was Born a Pleaser
Somehow, in life, I was born a pleaser.
I was the youngest of three girls and I quickly learned how to act so that my sisters would be pleased with me. The other side of this spinning coin is, I have often been devastated when someone close to me says mean things to or about me. I can never understand why they would want to be hurtful. This results in me wanting to do something or try something, but being held back by the abuse I allow myself to suffer in the opinions of others. -
Where Does the Time Go?
Where does the time go?
Some of us are working hard, head down, getting stuff done…others, not so much. -
Does Your Talk Match Your Walk?
Do I walk my talk? Do I follow through? Do my actions match my words? Do I do as I say? Sadly, in many cases, I would have to say NO…I feel kind of creepy admitting that because my intentions are always good. If I get down right honest, I often think out loud. I try out ideas like I try on clothes. When I speak my words and I look for reactions. My need to please is strong, so if the reactions to my thoughts out loud are too severe, I may go another direction. -
Practice What You Preach
I feel I definitely practice what I preach most of the time. For years and years, I’ve said I wanted a cottage on a lake. Now, it wasn’t just any lake or just any area, but I wanted it to be on South Lake Michigan Drive in Door County, WI, on Lake Michigan.
I always knew I was going to do this. We didn’t know how, didn’t know when, but it was going to happen. It had to. I put pictures up at work, constantly looked at the availability of properties and there was nothing… especially in our price range.
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Too Much Profanity!
I wish kids today (including my own) wouldn’t use profanity as much as they do. I really feel that there are so many more productive ways to express oneself other than swearing. This is something I strongly believe, BUT…. do I follow thru myself? Not so much.
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Respect My Time & Effort, Please!
When someone asks me to do something, I take pride in doing what was asked and doing it well. Sometimes I do research, look up procedures and spend time planning out the best way to complete the task. I finish the project or the document or the job and go back to the person that made the request pleased that I have accomplished my goal only to hear… -
Stupid Questions
I have lots of pet peeves, but I’d have to say my biggest one is stupid people. You know those ones that ask the dumbest questions? Or the ones that ask things that really don’t need to be asked?I can resonate so much with the comedian Bill Engvall when he does his skit stating “Here’s your sign!” With the implication that you need to hold a sign saying “I’M STUPID”
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Brainless Internet Surfing
I used to be so proud of myself. When others would tell about vegging in front of the tv or watching a movie marathon all weekend, I would feel the smug self-satisfaction of accomplishment. I prided myself on creating artsy stuff, crafts, and steadily remodeling my home.
That. Was. Then.
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Biggest Pet Peeve – Aubrey
I really don’t get pet peeves. I mean, why do you call it a pet peeve? Can’t you call it something simpler? Plus, there’s “pet” in pet peeves…is there something wrong with pets? Why don’t you just call it “annoying”. Because isn’t that what pet peeves are? But I guess, it’s just a way that people express themselves. But I’m just going to call it ANNOYING.
#sidetrackedsisters #sidetrackedaubrey #sanity #mindset #thoughts #petpeeves
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So Many Pet Peeves
One of my pet peeves is when people say, “Hi, how are you?”, and really don’t care or want to hear about you anyway.Pet Peeve #2: Husbands with toys. Why is it they complain about your “stuff” sitting around or hanging on walls, but feel there is nothing wrong with their things, such as trailers, sitting out in the driveway 24/7?
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Permission to Avoid Fear
In the day it was felt that if you didn’t meet all of your dreams, goals, were in your job of your dreams, be successful (whatever that meant” where you wanted to be at the ripe old age of thirty, you were, I guess, “A Failure”. That was for a rather short period of time on my part as I just couldn’t accept that. My Dad changed jobs in his fifties and wished he had done it long before that. So, I decided screw that Idea, just keep forging on and as long as you are happy that is a success. -
A Leap of Faith
I remember the feeling like it was yesterday. It was spring break 2006. Our home in Wisconsin had finally sold and our son and I had driven back from Colorado to take the final treasures out of the house. We had lived there for 15 years. My Mom had passed away in that house. So many wonderful family memories had been made there. -
Bad High School Memories
High school. Do you have good memories or bad ones of that time in your life? Many of mine are good, but I always had the feeling that I wasn’t good enough, I felt excluded by people and I was always worried about what others thought of me.
There was the “cool” crowd and the only time I was a part of it, was when one of the crowd would invite me to join. When she didn’t invite me – then I wasn’t included.
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Fears Equal Limitations
I hate the feeling of falling. The gentle decent of a Ferris wheel is a one. Jumping off a bridge with friends into the rushing water of the river below is an eight. Falling out of an airplane at 14,000 feet is a ten. I have done all three. Why???
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Stranger Danger
Unfortunately, I have had several. The one that always comes to my mind is when It was in Junior High, n/k/a Middle school. I was in band and we had band practice at night. -
A Safe Place to Land
Does everyone have a story where they “threatened” a parent with running away and the parent in response helped her pack for the trip? I’ve heard many. The retelling sounds so cute and makes the listeners nod with appreciation, connection, and approval of the parent’s wise response and predictable outcome—that of a short journey around the block or across the street to a friend’s house. -
My Scariest Moment – Aubrey
This is why I hate dolls.Ok, I’m going to start off a way long time ago when I was little, like 3 or 2. (I’m 9 now) I loved to spend lots of time with my cousin Nate – I still love spending time with him.
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Missing Child
Bradley was 1.5 years old and I had to go to the store to return a pair of pants. I figured while we were there, we would take his annual Christmas picture. All went fine during the picture, so it was time to return the pants.We went to JCPenney’s and I started the return process. I smiled down at Bradley and then looked at the clerk to tell her what I needed to do. I then looked down at Bradley and, to my horror, he was gone. I glanced around, thinking he had just started to wander. He was nowhere to be seen.
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Driving in the Fog
I’ve always used the metaphor of “driving in the fog” as a way to go as far as you can see and then you’ll see farther, or what’s next?The drive from Waterloo, Iowa to Beaver Dam, Wi could often be full of foggy sections or just plain socked in with fog. My ex-husband was famous for driving too fast, no matter what the weather was doing. We would often argue about “Please slow down” or “Look out for the curves in the road!!”
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Procrastination is My Middle Name
I am the queen of procrastination. I have a saying that I post at the office that says “Success is doing the things that we procrastinate doing in a timely fashion”.I always seem to be able accomplish quite a few things when I am under stress, but as I get older, I find that procrastinating for a period of time only puts me in a very stressful straight of mind.
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There’s Always Tomorrow
All my life I have been told I have “no sense of urgency”. What does that mean exactly and why is having “one” a good thing?I watch the world around me fuss and fume and have a fit about getting everything done “on time”. Whose time exactly? Sometimes when I wait until I’m in the mood or I’ve thought a thing through in my head to start, the end result is a better one. I think I have a different view of the world. Often, I watch people hurry up and then wait with nothing to do.
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One Head Trip Without a Map
I wake up in the morning and have plans..plans to write, work on a creation, prepare for teaching. But what do I do after my shower and when I’m dressed for the day? Do I go to the table, set up my materials and dig in? NO. Do I go up to my craft room and start playing? NO. Do I pull out my notebook, put my feet up and get writing? NO! Instead, I load the dishwasher, put in a load of laundry, log into Pinterest…WASH THE KITCHEN FLOOR–ON. MY. HANDS. AND. KNEES (yesterday). -
Procrastination – ‘Chelle
If mom is the queen of procrastination, then I’m the Princess of procrastination. There is only one thing in my life that I ever remember doing ahead of time and that was an assignment back in fifth grade! Since then, I’m the type that does everything last minute. Even getting ready to have kids – I didn’t even have my maternity bag packed before I went into labor. Someone always had to bring me stuff after the fact. For all three kids!!
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Can You Meditate?
We are discussing meditation and all I can think about is sleeping. How do people meditate? Sitting still and focusing on … nothing. Really? I don’t think I could handle that. All I’d be thinking about is what I should be doing instead. -
Overachieve Meditation
This is a topic that absolutely foreign subject for me. Perhaps I do some form of mediation, but I highly doubt it. The time that I could see doing this is during the day. This, surprisingly, is my awake time. That means I have to move around, and find, unless I am involved in a really fabulous book, I need to accomplish something, even if it is walking, bike riding, whatever.
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Sit. Breathe. Be.
I love the idea of meditating. I’ve experimented with it through the years. But it’s never been a practice that held any substance or continuity for me. -
Start Where You Are
I always knew that taking time to calm down, reflect, clear my mind and be open to the deeper thoughts buried within my brain would be of benefit to me. I knew these things and I had absolutely no idea where to start.
Did I read a book, join a group, listen to a singing bowl, hit a gong with a mallet, figure out a mantra???
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The Power of ONE
Sidetracked Sisters are sidetracked. That’s it…kind of…not really. One of our defining characteristics is that focus, and single-minded purpose is NOT our strong suit. We tend to flit, flutter and putter rather than being devoted to a straight path. Some might attribute ADD characteristics to the way we live our lives. Perhaps that earlier word that I used…putter…is what best defines the way I go about my “free” time (ie: time not taken up by work/job/career and family or household responsibilities). -
No Concept of Time
I swear I have no concept of time… But in my defense – neither does my family. My entire life – I’ve always been 5 minutes late. We even tease that we’ll be late to our own funerals! Well – that has always irritated me about myself (and my family) – so I’ve started to do something about it… -
No Sense of Urgency
Time and money. The two albatross’ in my life. The two realities over which I struggle for control and yet two commodities that are totally opposite.
Money is distributed based on successes, luck and abilities. On the other hand, each of us has the exact same amount of time in every day, every week, every month and every year. So why do I always feel as though I don’t have enough time to complete the things I want and need to do? -
My Time – Not Yours!
Time is certainly not my best friend. You see, everyone says I don’t like to follow time. The truth of the matter is time is always getting me in trouble. There is never enough of it to go around. My time schedule is definitely different then the norm seems to be. Have you ever noticed at work when someone comes in say at 6:30 a.m. and leaves at 3:30 they are the superstar, even though you come in at 8:00 a.m. and stay until say 8:00 p.m.
