Sidetracked Sisters are sidetracked. That’s it…kind of…not really. One of our defining characteristics is that focus, and single-minded purpose is NOT our strong suit. We tend to flit, flutter and putter rather than being devoted to a straight path. Some might attribute ADD characteristics to the way we live our lives. Perhaps that earlier word that I used…putter…is what best defines the way I go about my “free” time (ie: time not taken up by work/job/career and family or household responsibilities).
What this means for for me is that I’ve always envied people who have found their purpose, people with big goals, people who know were they are going and what drives them. People with a passion.
I’ve been thinking A LOT about the feeling of discontent with my life. When I go to bed at night, I’m always wondering “WHERE DID THE DAY GO?”. Its not that I don’t have a vital career or that I don’t plan. Its not that I haven’t laid out goals for myself–and accomplished them! But this feeling is more like wanting a single bucket to hold everything, or a big bungee cord that wraps around my dreams to keep everything together…
When I was in Jr. High, I remember crying myself to sleep because I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up.
When I was in college, if asked, I would have said that my goal was to go to heaven and take as many people with me as possible.
As an adult, I’ve wanted a happy marriage and to raise responsible, respectful, brave and kind children.
As an educator, I’ve worked to teach students to read, write and be kind to themselves and others.
The parts of me have always felt disjointed, without focus…sidetracked. Then a few months ago I was surfing the web and found a talk by Elizabeth Gilbert called “Flight of the Hummingbird–The Curiosity Driven Life”. It helped to clarify that I am OK. I get to choose my goals and decide for myself when I’ve reached that goal. I need to keep being true to who I am and NOT try to push myself into some mold that I’ve taken from outside of myself.
I have achieved several exciting goals in my life…big ones and small ones. I exercise daily and have adopted my three kiddos. I have my Masters degree in education and have run a marathon. I work to cook healthfully for my family and I read aloud every night to the kids before they go to sleep.
But between these achievements are years and months and weeks and days that I’ve seemed to float…and when I looked back, I felt flat.
What did I do today?
What did I accomplish?
Or…why did I spend so much time surfing the web? Or (even more true) why did I spend so much time on Facebook…feeling envious about the lives others are living?
All this finally leads me to the power of ONE. I am a believer in the impact and the importance of faithfully setting up small, even microscopic goals. They add up.
Do you remember this illustration from www.sidetrackedsisters.com…resolutions?
So, I am committing (or am I re-committing) to the power of ONE. Each day, I will pursue one “goal”, one interest, one creation, one curiosity. Maybe I’ll take a picture, maybe I’ll try a new recipe, make a new blog post, fashion some beaded earrings, sew a skirt–or maybe just get my serger threaded! Maybe I’ll get the ceiling in the boy’s bedroom painted or get the side garden weeded.
It is the decision, the planning, that sets the ONE apart from just happy coincidences, serendipity. Perhaps I’ll make my plan when I’m doing my morning zen walk, maybe during my shower. What is speaking to me? What is on my heart?
What is the ONE thing that, when lay down in bed tonight, will bring a smile because it has been accomplished?