Conquering Fear – ‘Chelle

greatestprison

High school.  Do you have good memories or bad ones of that time in your life?  Many of mine are good, but I always had the feeling that I wasn’t good enough, I felt excluded by people and I was always worried about what others thought of me.

There was the “cool” crowd and the only time I was a part of it, was when one of the crowd would invite me to join.  When she didn’t invite me – then I wasn’t included.

Fast forward 30 years and that feeling has plagued me my entire life.  The feeling of not being good enough, not being included and worrying about what people think of me.  I always second guess if I should go to an event or not because, in my head, “they really don’t want me there” and “they don’t like me”.

Up until this past weekend, I never went to any of my class reunions because of those feelings.  The way I always felt was “no one wants me there”, “no one likes me”, “no one will miss me”.  This past weekend was my 30th class reunion and for the first time in my life, I said SCREW THIS!  I don’t care if no one wants me there.  I’m going to go and I’m going to have fun!

I walked into the party with a smile on my face and was instantly greeted with yells of “Hey ‘Chelle!  You’re here!!”  The event lasted late into the night and I had an amazing time talking with old classmates that truly seemed to enjoy that I was there.

I finally managed to conquer my fear of NOT being accepted by ignoring those that don’t accept me.  If you don’t like me – too bad for you.  I’m amazing!  (If you don’t believe me – just ask me – I’ll tell you!)

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