• Drinking the Kool-Aid

    When I first heard someone use the phrase “drinking the Kool-Aid” in a staff memo, my jaw nearly hit the teacher’s lounge table. To me, Kool-Aid was the stuff of childhood—sticky red mustaches, paper cups, and endless summer refills. But the phrase? That carried a much darker flavor.

    I was working under a brand-new principal—Rich—who was just twenty-nine years old. Of all the qualified candidates who must have applied, somehow he got the job. His résumé boasted a couple years of teaching kindergarten, a freshly minted master’s degree, and a short stint as an assistant principal. He had energy and enthusiasm, sure—but experience? Let’s just say his cup wasn’t exactly running over.

  • Redifining Prosperity

    When I hear the word prosperity, my mind doesn’t flash to yachts or stock portfolios. Instead, it brings up a very specific memory from second grade—one filled with velvet, a funeral, and a heartfelt family decision that, at the time, felt incredibly grown-up to me.

    We lived on Cherokee Road. My little sister was two and a half. That December, my grandpa passed away peacefully at home in his favorite chair. My mom had just gotten a beautiful new coat that I admired with all my little-kid longing. For the funeral, I got one of my own—a rust-colored velvet coat with a fluffy collar. It was fancy. It was beautiful. It made me feel important.

    From a kid’s perspective, life felt steady and safe. When I really wanted something, I usually got it. My family was stable. My world was small and secure.

    Then, a few months later, Mom sat me down for a heart-to-heart.

    Dad had been in the “manager trainee” program at JCPenney, working full-time there while also hanging draperies on his day off and in the evenings. He had just been offered a promotion and transfer—to Council Bluffs, Iowa.

    Council Bluffs? What even was that? Iowa? Where was that?

  • Tell the Truth or Else

    mama rulesWhen Matt was young, I gave him one basic rule: Do not lie to me.

    If you’ve done something wrong, or are about to do something you know I won’t approve of, be honest, and I’ll work with you. If I disagree, I’ll listen to your reasoning, and chances are, I’ll give you the go-ahead.

  • Because I Said So

    mama rulesRules in our house were usually made between my husband and me.  But, perhaps that is because they were girls, at the very end of our discussions, it seemed that I (Mama) ruled.  This could be based on style, activities, chores, school, and church events.  Now, when it came to discipline, I believe Art ruled.  He didn’t have to make these hardcore decisions very often because, for some reason, I tried to shield him from the (really bad stuff).  I think I didn’t want him to be upset and/or disappointed in his daughters.  (By the way, today I don’t think that was a good idea at all.)

  • Because Mama Rules

    Mama RulesLet’s get one thing straight—when it came to decorating the house, I had Mama Rules. And Rule #1? Mama picks the colors.

    When I was a kid, my “choices” were laughable. I got to pick between yellow and red… or yellow and red. I’m pretty sure those weren’t even my choices. They were just the two colors my mom picked out of her pea-brain. So yes, my bedroom looked like it was sponsored by Heinz (you know – ketchup and mustard).

  • Karma Construction Zone

    Tonight’s Sidetracked Sisters writing topic is “karma,” and let’s just say… we’ve been circling the cosmic drain trying to make sense of it. Karma as payback? As justice? As some universal scorekeeper in the sky? Meh. It’s all a little murky. But then, I landed on a metaphor that actually clicked for me…

    Each choice we make is a brick in the structure of our lives. Karma might not be a cosmic slap on the wrist—it could simply be the quiet architecture of cause and effect. What are you building without even realizing it?

  • Midlife Sunrise

    Sunrise is more than the start of a new day—it’s a promise. A clean slate. A soft glow after the dark. And this morning, on the first day of spring, it feels like that promise is meant just for me.

    For years, I greeted my days in a classroom. I was a teacher for 30 years—a career I genuinely loved—but one that never fully fed my soul. It fit my personality beautifully: creative, nurturing, always busy. But it also drained me. The schedules were rigid, the paperwork endless, and the energy output… well, let’s just say first graders don’t run on decaf.

    During those years, I tried other creative ventures, little sparks that either fizzled or never quite caught fire. I told myself I was “just exploring.” Truthfully, I was scared—scared to let go of what was safe and familiar, even if it left me feeling half-asleep.

    Now, though, something inside me is waking up. A new dawn is breaking.

  • 6 Seconds to Love

    I remember watching my parents embrace in our kitchen as a child. My mom scrubbed dishes while my dad grabbed her hands and spun her around the room. The evening blared with music—either Helen Reddy or Barbra Streisand—and their laughter filled the space, a genuine lifeline of joy that still resonates with me.

    I may no longer have a playlist featuring Barbra or Helen, but the feeling of witnessing my parents’ unabashed affection remains unforgettable. As a kid, I’d scrunch up my nose and declare their touchy, silly displays “gross.” Later, I’d roll my eyes and exclaim, “Oh, come on—get a room, guys!”

    Those quirky memories shaped my expectations of marriage—a constant lifeline linking the heart of a relationship. Today,  Craig isn’t much of a dancer; he can only manage a simple sway. In recent years, we’d almost forgotten how to move together in our kitchen or living room, and I miss that spark. Then I discovered the “6 Second Kiss,” a brief, intentional moment that mirrors the connection I admired in my parents.

    Once, Craig and I exchanged quick pecks for greetings and goodbyes. Now, we’ve upgraded to a daily extended smooch—even Aubrey chimes in with playful “ewwws.” We may be a bit clumsy about our newfound routine, but each lingering kiss releases up a cascade of hormones and reminds me of who I want us to be. It’s our lifeline, our anchor in this imperfect journey of love.

    I’ve also heard about the “20 Second Hug,” touted to work the same magic. For now, though, our kiss ritual is keeping us connected and reminds us that sometimes, the smallest moments are the most powerful.

    Who is Lisa

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  • Lifelines Bring Laughter

    Raising a child without a lifeline is close to impossible or at very best, difficult. I realized this truth when our son Matt was a year old. My husband, Michael had a job that took him to other states from Sunday night to Friday night each week. I had a wonderful woman who would babysit for Matt a few afternoons. This was the time I would attend classes at our local community college. 

  • Survival Lifeline

    It is said that it takes a village to raise a child.  I agree with this, but it also takes having a lifeline of both friends of friends and relatives to survive in life.  Not everyone is lucky enough to have a good support system such as a lifeline, but it sure helps and makes things a lot easier.

  • Climbing the Wrong Ladder

    I am a retired teacher. After stepping away from the classroom, I took two years off—I became a life coach and homeschooled my kids during COVID.

    Then reality hit. My husband and I sat down to evaluate our finances. Ouch. I needed to bring in income… immediately.

    At that time, I remembered something Craig had once said: “You could NEVER work in a factory.” The challenge had been presented. The gauntlet was laid.

    I figured, well, I’ll be starting my coaching business soon, and I don’t want to take a temporary job where they’ll actually miss me when I leave. I need a job where I can walk away at a moment’s notice—no strings attached.

    The big-box distribution center outside of town was my answer. I applied, got a tour, and was hired within a week. At first, the novelty was fun. I was driving a speedy forklift, trying to “make rate.” I was meeting new people and learning new systems. It was my first job outside of education or hospitality—ever.

  • Unrecognized Growth

    growthI’ve been out working since I was sixteen years old.  The training process has always come easily to me. With each new employer, I enjoyed the beginner phase. There is always new learning and processes to add to my knowledge base. There was one situation that came to mind and it was one where I experienced tremendous growth. 

  • Counting Losses, Not Weeks

    miscarriage deathThere are so many different kinds of death that we go through in our lives.  One type of death that happened to me was having four different miscarriages.  

    I think a miscarriage for anyone is interpreted and felt in so many different ways, and the severity happens differently as well.

  • The Moments After Goodbye

    Dad passed away on December 30.

    That morning, I got up early and made a quick stop at the grocery store for juice. Before heading home, I decided to drop by Mom and Dad’s house. Michelle had been doing so much over the past few days, and I wanted to help when I could—and this morning, I could.

    I walked into the house and climbed the stairs. Mom was in the bathroom, and I let her know I was there. Then I stepped into the bedroom. Dad lay there, peacefully asleep—but something about his stillness felt off. I walked around the bed and sat down beside him. His skin looked too gray, his face too motionless. I reached out, touching his cheek. It felt cold beneath my fingers.

  • Discipline or Negotiation

    I hated being disciplined as a child. If Mom ever said, “Just wait till your dad gets home…” I would instantly change my behavior to avoid getting yelled at. I don’t remember Dad ever actually yelling at me, but his look of disapproval would send me into an immediate fit of tears. Mom’s discipline never had the same effect on me.

  • From Grief to Giggles: The Power of a Support Squad

    resilienceAfter having a death in my family, my husband of sixty-two years, I have discovered several ways to be resilient.  It is traumatic enough, but having family and friends engulf you helps you to recover more quickly from a hardship or traumatic event.  Another way would be to get out of the house and do an activity that has been put on the back burner.  Such activity could be anywhere from lunches with old friends, movies, or getting together with those we have shoved away due to heavy schedules.

  • Nine Years, One Condo, and Zero Rings

    resilienceThe year was 1976. Chris and I had been together for nine years. We enjoyed each other’s company and were good friends. We shared friends and fun times. Chris had a great sense of humor. He was a disc jockey on the local radio station.  He would talk about things we had done together and as he told his story, I could barely recognize it as a place I had been. He was able to make it sound like an enviable experience and one that anyone would like to participate in. 

  • Resilience, Relatives and Rolling with the Punches

    resilienceAh, the holidays. A time for twinkling lights, delicious feasts, and… navigating the emotional minefield of family gatherings. Add in the inevitable challenges—burnt turkey, last-minute gift shopping, and Uncle Bob’s annual political rant—and you’ve got the perfect storm for testing your resilience.

    But resilience isn’t just about surviving the holidays with your sanity (mostly) intact. It’s about showing up when it matters most—especially during the hardest moments, like the loss of a loved one. When grief collides with the season of joy, resilience is what carries us through.

  • F*cked Up 59

    I was listening to a podcast the other day, and the speaker shared a strategy for letting God/spirit/energy (pick your favorite cosmic force) guide you into the new year. Her technique? Write down 10 goals on December 20th, crumble them up, and put them aside. Each day afterward, you pull one out and burn it. By December 31st, you’re left with one goal—your “resolution” for the upcoming year.

    Well, I thought, “I can’t do that because I’d just write the same thing on every slip of paper.” Honestly, I only want two things for the upcoming year: to start my Life Coaching practice again (and actually turn it into my career), and, hand in hand with that… to QUIT working as a retail manager!

  • Love, Laughter, and Loss

    dementiaThe year 2024 has been a difficult, strange year for me.  It is strange to be retired after working for over fifty-six years.  To add to this my husband has been diagnosed with dementia.  Having noticed some rather strange behavior on his behalf it became apparent that he indeed did have dementia as a result of Alzheimers.  

  • The Naked Truth

    Picture this, I am a small child living at home and it is the middle of the night and I need my mom.  She was one of those moms that was always there for you.  Unfortunately, when she came to take care of you or to take care of whatever you needed, she would show up naked.  Yup, I said naked.  God she would kill me if she could read this!!!  I don’t know why she never wore a robe or a coverup, but she didn’t.  This turned me off, so that in the future whenever I needed her I would grin and bear it and try to fix whatever I needed myself.

  • Let’s Ask Mom

    I was always a people pleaser as a young child.  I never wanted to disappoint my parents with my actions.  For example, on a Sunday morning when I was 6, I was ready for church before everyone else and was told I could go outside if I didn’t get dirty.  I was found a few minutes later, sitting in my little lawn chair by the side of the road, patiently waiting for the rest of the family.  See…  people pleaser.

  • The Glue That Held Us Together

    learning from momI remember thinking my Mom was the hardest-working person I had ever met. She made sure the house was always neat and clean. The downstairs got cleaned on Fridays and the upstairs on Thursdays. When the house was in the least bit faded, Mom painted the living room and other rooms by herself. When I was little, my Dad wore starched white dress shirts. Daily. Mom would sprinkle them and keep them in the fridge so they wouldn’t mildew. Then every week, she would iron these shirts until they were perfect. 

  • Priceless Memories

    heirloomsOur family loves its heirlooms. Both sides of my family had a lot of neat antiques that would have been fun to own. The problem I faced was that I had cousins who became interested in antiques just before my interest was piqued. That left me with not much to pine after.

  • More Than Stuff

    Craig and I were just chatting about heirlooms the other day. He’s got his eye on something specific from his grandpa’s place: a miniature John Deere tire that was transformed into—wait for it—an ashtray.

    Yep. An ashtray.

    Oh, my.

  • Presents from the Past

    I never received many heirlooms from either of my grandmothers, but in retrospect, I received a few items from my great-uncle Lloyd.  He may not have meant them as heirlooms, but I chose to look at them that way.

  • Quirks and Conditions

    relationshipsRelationships come with many quirks and challenges.  I experienced two failed marriages. I entered into each of these relationships with high hopes. I have learned that there were issues that got in the way of our happiness, that we never considered or discussed. Looking back, I realize I was very young and lacked the wisdom to make the best decisions.  

  • Lessons in Love

    Do I want this relationship or not?

    It’s a question I’ve asked myself more times than I care to admit, with friends and partners alike. In my life, I’ve mostly been behind the wheel when deciding whether to continue or end a relationship. (And trust me, my driving skills aren’t exactly known for being smooth.)

    I’ve written before about my ex-husband, Tom. 

    But one night in October, it finally hit me: I had given up way too much control in my life. I was walking on eggshells all. the. time. (And let me tell you, that’s exhausting.) Finally, I was done. I said the words that would change everything: “I want a divorce.”

     
  • Is it a Cult?

    cultI had a spiritual/religious experience when my oldest daughter, Lisa, went to college.  Being what I liked to imagine myself at that time as a knowledgeable, with-it mom.  Now when I mentally sent her off to college I was all prepared to try to handle the expected topics of drugs, alcohol, and sex.  This is what seemed to be the most heard-about topics of my peers with college-bound children.  Well, I was one of the lucky ones (tongue in cheek).  I got religion.

  • Bible Camp and Butterflies

    During the summer of 1983, I went to Sugar Creek Bible Camp.  It was for our confirmation class and all my friends were going.  Unfortunately, 2 weeks before leaving for camp, I came down with chicken pocks.

  • Spiritual Vignettes

    religionMy spiritual moments have not come in huge dramatic scenarios. They instead show up as small vignettes. It may be me saying a quick prayer when I need help from God and moments later I have an answer or solution.

  • Layers of Faith

    I loved Sunday mornings when I was a kid. We often went to church or Sunday School and grabbed a dozen soft, sweet, glazed Persians and cream-filled Longjohns. Afterward, we’d head over to our friend’s house for coffee and conversation.
     
  • Raised with Grandma

    grandmaMy niece, Michelle came out of the rustic cabin on Green Bay shaking her head. She had a smile on her face but it was hiding her disbelief that my 10 year old son did not know how to make toast by himself. They had been in the kitchen when Matt asked her to make a piece of toast for me. She said “Wouldn’t mom be proud if you made it yourself?“ “Just put the bread in the toaster,” and he said “I know that!!” ‘At this point she said “then you’re halfway there! Next you push down the lever and when it pops up, you put butter on it”.

  • Childhood Confidence

    childhood confidenceThis week’s writing was one of the hardest to focus on. A favorite picture was needed as the topic. Do you know how many pictures I have from the last thirty-seven-plus years? Each image has its own unique story to tell. My most popular subject has been our son Matthew. Matthew at Halloween, Matthew at the zoo, Matthew just looking adorable. I think you get the picture. 

  • Just Come and Look

    beaglesOne of my favorite pictures is from quite a while ago.

    As a mother of a three-year-old and owner of a newer home, I was happy with having no responsibility for a pet,  especially a dog.  I did not miss brushing the carpets of hair, hairballs in the kitchen and baths, and, of course, the wonderful duty of cleaning up dog poop.

  • A Golden Adventure: Finding Eli

     

    It was my nephew Brad’s first birthday party. Standing in the kitchen of my sister’s house, we were talking about pets. Mom knew she had just heard the death knell of my marriage when Tom told me, “You will NEVER have a dog.” The look on my blank face showed that this was not connecting with me or my reality. He was drawing a line in the sand, and I was not intimidated, not cowed by his threat.

  • Always Looking Forward

    dreamingIn the past, I had so many things to look forward to in the future.  When I start reminiscing I go way back to graduating from high school, getting engaged, getting married, buying our first house, and having our children. I loved seeing those children excel in their endeavors and eventually graduating from high school, then college.

  • There’s a Mouse in my House

    looking forwardI am going through a rather precarious time in my life. I am having a difficult time identifying anything that I am excited about or looking forward to. I am finding small joys in the little happenings of life. 

  • Another Day Another Lickin’

    spankingAs I remember I was always getting into trouble.  I was curious, mischievous, and just plain naughty.  I had a knack for bending the rules. I was the middle child and perhaps seeking out attention. I was not one to sit idly and be bored.  I always seemed to make bad choices in the process of being a kid.

  • Overworked and Underpaid?

    Imagine a young child spending hours sweating under the midday summer sun, digging a hole in the field next to her family’s yard. She sought treasure – anything from dinosaur bones or ancient relics to interesting rocks or even a snake hole. What did she find? Just clumps of dirt and wriggling worms.

    Observing her dad mow their yard, their home situated in a newly developed area bordered by fields, the girl couldn’t help but envision herself taking on the task. Each week, her dad diligently mowed the whole field on the south side of their property, transforming it into what resembled a park. It took about two hours to maintain the yard and field, a responsibility the girl eagerly awaited.

  • Gimmie the Pennies

    Picture this.  I’m 5 years old and it’s Mother’s Day.  We are all getting ready to go out to eat and I’m ready before everyone else.  I’m bored and asked Mom if I could go outside.  She told me that was fine as long as I didn’t get dirty.  Apparently, I took that message to heart, because I was found just sitting at the side of the road in my little lawnchair.  Lisa called mom and said “You have got to check this out!”  In my defense, I was just doing what I was told.

  • Please Be Happy

    childhoodI worked hard to find my place in our family. I was the youngest of three girls. My oldest sister was 9 years older. My middle sister was 5 years older. As the youngest, I often felt like I wasn’t allowed to do the things that the older girls could do. I wanted to help. My mom said I had a hernia so she wouldn’t let me shovel snow or vacuum or do anything that would exert extra effort. I wanted to be more of a player even though I was younger. My sister thought it was silly and somehow it was my excuse not to get involved. 

  • Letting Go of Overthinking

    overthinkingSometimes when something is troubling me or I don’t understand why people do the things they do, I have a hard time not overthinking the issue. Thinking about a problem or situation can keep me awake at night and cause me to fill my mind with nothing else. 

  • The Green-Eyed Monster

    green-eyed monsterI have a bad habit of comparing myself to others and then feeling bad about how things are going in my life.  I look at the people around me and see people with more money or bigger houses or people going on fancy vacations and I get jealous.  Why isn’t my life like that?

  • A Few of my Favorite Things

    favorite things<music note> “These are a few of my favorite things…”   <music note>

    Thank you Julie Andrews for putting that song into my head. 

    We’ve talked about our favorite things before and the first thing that comes to mind are physical things.  This time, I thought I’d also incorporate some non-tangibles.

  • My Loves

    my loves

    Here goes.

    I love my family.  They are all different and wonderful in their ways.  Each one makes me feel loved (well most of the time).  They all seem like caring and nice individuals.  All are very different and take on individual roles in my life, and I love them for their differences.

  • Antique Secretary

    secretaryI was offered a part-time job in the school office in the early sixties during my senior year of high school. This job was being a secretary to the Superintendent of Schools.  Then when I graduated I was offered this same job full-time.

  • My Main Street Experience

    Main StreetIn 1993 I left working in the furniture store and wanted something that would reward my time and pique my interest.  I applied and was hired to work for the Columbus Downtown Development Corporation. Our main focus was the restoration and rebuilding of the downtown Columbus area. This program was a part of the Department of Commerce and the Wisconsin Main Street Program.

  • A Bill Collector With Charm

    During the summer of 1985, I attended a Leadership Training event organized by my church. This event took place just outside of Washington D.C. We participated in classes, events, and evangelism activities in the evenings and weekends. But during the day we all held full-time jobs–I was a bill collector.

    The minimum wage stood at approximately $3.25/hour, but we were encouraged to seek employment offering $4.00/hour.

  • Waitressing Summers from Hell

    waitressingDuring the summer of 1989, I decided that I needed to keep myself busy.  I already had my waitressing job at Larson’s Family Restaurant, but thought “Why not get another job?!”  Apparently, I was a glutton for punishment.

  • Read to Me…Not

    When I was in high school, I loved to read–but not necessarily the books that were assigned in class. Even if I hadn’t read the whole book, I could contribute to the conversation by reading the dust jacket, the first chapter, and the last chapter.

    I decided that I would change this habit when I got to college. I signed up for an English literature class. One of the first books we were assigned was Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin. I loved the idea of reading this book. I loved the first line. It is the only first line of any book that I’ve memorized.

    “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”

    I loved the discussions about family, wealth, reputation, social class, and of course, pride and prejudice. But I didn’t actually read it until years later.

  • Atari Love

    atariI can still remember the Christmas that I got my Atari 2600.  I think this is where my love of technology began.  I received the game system that morning and as soon as the presents were opened, I had it set up on our basement TV.  But with my luck – by the time I was ready to play with it – it was time to get over to Grandma Is’s house to celebrate the holiday with the remainder of the family.

  • My Broomstick Horse

    broomstickWhen I was a kid I don’t remember having many toys.  We had the staples such as roller skates, ice skates, a bike, and a doll or two.  I also had a metal dollhouse and paper dolls.  But, the one thing I had was a good imagination.

  • I Am Trixie Belden

    readingBeing young in the 50s was a whole different ball game than being young today. I remember 3 different pastimes. First was playing cowboys and indians with the neighborhood boys. Second was getting out our jump ropes, pogo sticks, and stilts and the third was pretending to be Trixie Belden and her sidekick named Honey from the Trixie Belden mystery series.

  • Escape Room Adventures

    This past weekend, my kids, their significant others and I went to an escape room in Wisconsin Dells.  It was a Christmas present from me to all of them and we wanted to do it before a couple of them went back to school.  Last year, for my birthday, they treated me to an escape room adventure in Madison and we had so much fun that I knew we had to try it again.

  • Five on the Floor

    drivingAt one time I owned a Honda Accord with a 5-speed transmission. It was a very fun car to drive and Matt would always comment that he wished he knew how to drive a 5-speed car. When he got his driver’s license, I asked him if he still wanted to learn how to drive a standard transmission. He jumped at the chance.

  • Pickled Poop

    poopI have six grandchildren and one great-grandchild.  I have had the wonderful opportunity and experience of living close to all of my grandchildren.  This includes being able to spend good quality time and a lot of fun experiences.  

  • Family is Everything

    familyTo some people, the presence of family brings stress, challenges, and dread.  They don’t like to be around family because of differing opinions or hard feelings.  I have difficulty relating to those people as my family is the exact opposite.  I couldn’t imagine life without them.

  • Family History Shared

    familyWhen I turned my key in the apartment door, I always felt the same sadness. I just wanted to go home. I wanted to be with my family. 

    The move to Colorado back in 2005 had seemed like a good idea. It checked all the boxes. A good job for Michael, and a great school with a hockey team for Matt’s Senior year. It felt right since they had both helped me take such good care of my mom. Now, she had passed. Still, my gut was telling me “Don’t go”.

  • Dad’s Benediction

    There is so much to be thankful for…that is what this holiday is all about. It is also a time to remember and honor memories.

    My dad has a favorite blessing that he recites at family gatherings. (I have googled it and found no references.)

    Let us bow our heads in prayer.

    Lord God, gracious and merciful,

    We acknoledge thy bountiful goodness towards us and give you thanks for our daily bread…

    so richly provided by thee.

    And we ask you to continue to bless us

    with the benedictions of thy fatherly hands.

    Through Jesus Christ, our Lord,

    Amen

  • Teenage Romance

    teenage romanceI was planning on staying home, but my best friend Janice insisted I had to come with her to Mary’s party.  Mary’s family was having a party for their exchange student and all the girls were going to be there.  I didn’t feel like going but resigned myself to an evening of socializing. The last thing I was looking for was romance.

  • Meeting Mr. Right

    I had just bought a house and moved back to my hometown in July of 1998. By January 1999, I was separated from my ex-husband, living alone, having fun remodeling my old house, and excited about being single. 

    Mom called me after work on Friday and told me that her friend Bonnie was looking for someone to go out to eat with that night–and mom wasn’t available. She told me to give Bonnie a call.

    I did.

  • Blind Date Success

    blind dateI met my husband, Art, on a blind date.  

    As it was told to me a friend that I had gone with had this friend named Art.  He always spoke highly about him and said what a nice guy he was.  Well, he wanted to go to the outdoor, needed a date for Art, and called one of my girlfriends to see if she could go.  She couldn’t go, so guess what?  He called me.  Well, my Dad knew this friend, liked him, and thought he was the one asking me to go out to the outdoor.  So, he said I could go.  Now, I was only fifteen so this was a huge thing for me.  I couldn’t believe he would let me go to the outdoor, in a car with boys, at such an early age. 

  • Friends Forever

    friendsMy first real job after High School was selling driving lessons at a driving school in Madison. Every day it was my job to take the bank deposit to the bank in the Hilldale Shopping Center. It was a highlight of my day because the staff was friendly and fun.

  • Tenacious Taurus

    taurusIf you look to see what personality traits are associated with a Taurus, you can find a variety of different answers.  The websites I found state that a Taurus is possessed/obsessed, fussy, stubborn, chilled/zoned out, and sensuous/greedy.  Some things that a Taurus is into would be money, food, chilling, flirting, and shopping.  For the most part, I’m in complete agreement with what I’ve read.

  • Authentic Aries

    AriesThe Aries woman is honest, driven, competitive, and energetic. At least many of the Aries women have these traits. 

    I find myself exhibiting the shadow side of many of the Aries qualities. For example, I carry a secret insecurity that creates intense stress and pressure for me. On the surface, I appear confident, competitive, and driven. In truth, appearances can be deceiving. Inside, I am often feeling anxious and inadequate. This surprises the people I know well because they say they don’t understand why. 

  • Creative Cancer

    cancerI really don’t pay much attention to my sign, but doing this exercise found it to be interesting. There are a couple of traits that I can identify with.  One trait of the cancer is being nosey.  I don’t consider this trait as being nosey at all, but am interested.  I find people fascinating.  I love to know their story, their interests, occupations, and the list goes on and on.  This is how I get to know them and find other people primarily fun and interesting.

  • Spiritual Sagittarius

    spiritual sagittariusMy birthday is in mid-December, which makes me a Sagittarius.

    Although I was a child in the 70s, I was really too young to be into the zodiac. As a child, I would occasionally read my horoscope in the paper, but the predictions always seemed vague and random. For example, my horoscope for today says this:

  • Dusty Dreams and Ukulele Strings

    My ex-husband, Tom, played the guitar. He began playing after High School–taught himself. He was a natural musician as was his father. Going into college, he was a music major. Vocal jazz was his passion. But the thing that is important here is that he began taking finger-picking lessons when he was in his late 20s. This whole idea was absolutely foreign to me. He was a grown-ass adult, an accountant who just loved to play guitar. He didn’t even play in the band at church anymore. But he wanted the routine, the commitment, and the accountability that taking lessons from a guitar teacher gave him.

  • Starting the Dream at 36

    I had major speed bumps and difficult times in my childhood and early adulthood. When I turned 30, things started to improve and gel. When I reached 36, things got downright amazing. 

  • Always Moving Forward

    If you could be any age, what would you pick?

    Isn’t this such a “writer’s group” question? Well yeah. We sat down to get into it and discovered that you could look at the topic from a dozen different angles. Here are three alternatives that immediately popped into my head:

  • What Kind of Dog is That??

    Bouvier des FlandresThirty-four years ago, we wanted to buy a dog. We had said we would wait until our new son; Matt was a year old and walking so the time had come. We had taken Matt to the “Nut Tree” which was a restaurant, gift shop, and a mini amusement park. While we were there, we fell in love with a dog we saw. We asked the owners “What kind of dog is that?” They responded that it was a Bouvier des Flandres. Our love of Bouviers started that day.

  • Teenage Fashion Dilemma

    We, as a culture, seem to be attracted to black and white opinions. We see things as good or bad, flower or weed, Republican or Democrat, yum or yuck, right or wrong.

    As a parent it’s easy to be labeled as either the “go-to” parent or the “hard-ass”. Between Craig and I (generally speaking) I am the one who is more inclined to say “yes”. 

    But it really isn’t as simple as that…

  • Finding Baby Sister

    finding baby sisterCraig swears that mom and I began planning for our baby girl when the airplane tires hit the tarmac when we returned home from adopting our boys from Russia.

    He was right.

    I can’t remember a time that I didn’t think about “baby sister”. Our family just didn’t feel quite complete. Our boys were perfect, but there was still someone missing.

  • Caught Naked

    Have you ever seen a family member naked that you shouldn’t be seeing or didn’t want to be seeing?  Well, our family has a habit of seeing the wrong people naked and at inopportune times.  Over the years, there have been multiple instances of this.

  • Through My Mentor’s Eyes

    mentorGrowing up, my mom was private about girl stuff and things I should be aware of. My older sister Sandy and I shared a room and she was the one I went to with questions about life and guys and relationships. I was shy growing up and Sandy’s advice helped me to handle a variety of situations. I knew she always had my back although she did tease me a bit first.

  • Unexpected Mentor

    mentorHaving worked in a law office for 56 years one would hope that I learned a lot.  Actually, I worked for my current boss’s dad for twenty-three of those 56 years and learned an awful lot.  Bruce was his name and he loved to teach.  This was fortunate for me as I came to the office without a college degree, having just graduated from high school.  I was the only secretary he had for a long time and while training me he was very good at teaching me why things had to be done a certain way and then how to accomplish this.   He also gave me free rein once I had certain projects down pat.  

  • A Mentor For Life

    a mentor for lifeIn talking about mentors, I keep coming up with one person who has consistently been there for me for my whole life. She has known me from birth through the present. Sometimes she has lived close, at other times on the other side of the country. I’ve always looked up to her and admired her for the ways she’s embodied and encouraged me to be adventurous, self-confident, and independent…

  • Stop Being Paranoid

    paranoidOne of the biggest mentors I had in my life was my sister Lisa, but I’ve already written about her, so let’s give someone else the spotlight.  During my time working at a local bank, I had an amazing mentor come into my life.  She was a challenging person, but very smart, and dedicated and it was my goal to make her happy.

    Her name was Tina, and she was the Senior VP of Operations at the bank.  She had worked there since she was 19, I believe and moved her way thru the ranks.  For the first 4 years that I worked for her, it was a struggle.  I never quite felt like I was doing things to the point that she (or anyone) was completely happy with.  There was a coworker that would come into the office very quietly.  Every morning, I would stew about it, thinking that I’d done something to make her mad or upset.  If she and Tina had a side conversation about something, I was always convinced they were talking about me.  Finally, at the 4-year mark, things took a turn.

  • Baffle Them With Bullshit

    computerI was 25 years old when I started working at ExecuTrain as a computer trainer.  I was tasked with teaching adults about how to use Windows, Microsoft products, and other such things.  After working there for about 3 months, our network administrator left and my boss said, “Hey Michelle.  You said you like technical things, right? Well, here’s our network.  Take care of it!”

  • Letting Go

    Letting Go
    March 20006

    It’s been over a month since I’ve talked to my oldest son. Texts, messages, and chats go unanswered. His dad’s birthday has come and gone. Crickets.

    Life has rarely been easy parenting Luka. We adopted him from an orphanage in Russia when he was 32 months old. The only thing we knew about his birth mother was that she was a registered alcoholic. He was a loving and sweet boy.

    One of his elementary teachers noted about him, that although school was hard for him, he was the most determined and hard-working kid in her class. She was sure that that tenacity would pay off for him in the future.

  • My #1 #2

    birthLooking back at some real changes in my life would certainly include the birth of my two daughters.  I am going to focus on the birth of my second child, who I teasingly call my #1 #2. (Get it – she’s my favorite 2nd child)  See I try to make everything even outlining the importance of their being.

  • First Communion Nightmare

    My mom was raised Catholic and she agreed to raise her children as Catholics. The only caveat was that she did not want us to go to parochial school. In order for us to fulfill her agreement, we were required to attend Saturday Catechism classes until we were through the eighth grade.

  • Lucy the Labradoodle

    labradoodleIt was 2013 and I had been living as a single person for almost 5 years.  Sam, our beautiful family black lab, had recently passed due to a horrible but thankfully quick struggle with throat cancer. I decided it was time to get another dog and this time, she was going to be mine.  It was the first time I had been able to make a decision like this on my own.

  • Tween Makeover

    tween makeover
    me, 7th Grade, 1977

    I’ve written before about how I had many worries and thoughts about the future when I was young. But I was also a planner. One of the biggest “plans” I had was for my transition from elementary school to Jr. High.

    In elementary school, I was a pretty typical kid. Braces, headgear, and rubber bands worked to fix my smile. I took tap dance lessons. In the band, I played the flute.

    But I wanted to be different. So I came up with a plan. I was going to have a life makeover! But, of course, “makeover” wasn’t yet a concept.

  • Teasing Teenagers

    teasingPicture this…  I’m 14 years old.  It’s New Year’s Eve and I’m having a date night with my boyfriend, Sam.  Lisa and Tom are in the next room chaperoning us (as much as you can chaperone from the other room).  Sam and I are kissing and before I know it, his hand is creeping under my shirt…

  • To Know Me is to Love Me

    teenagerAnyone who says being a kid or much less a teenager is fun has never been one.  Well, my remembrance of being a teenager sort of makes me shudder.  I was one of those kids that most parents would, at times, never want.  I was rebellious, didn’t like the word “no”, hated restrictions, and liked to do anything at least once to see if it was worth doing again.

  • Shy and Unhappy Teenager

    teenagerI remember being very excited about becoming a teenager but for the life of me, I didn’t know why.

    My first memory of my teenage years was standing on the front steps of the Junior High waiting for the doors to open. It was the first day of 7th grade. I had grown four inches over the summer. I towered over most of my classmates that I remembered from 6th grade.

  • Not Yet a Grown-Up

    This is the worst topic. Why? Because it exposes how scary this time is in anyone’s life. And right now, my daughter Aubrey is in the middle of her thirteenth year. There are six more years of her teenagehood ahead of us. I remember the struggle of that age and how confused I was about my place in the world. For me, it was a time of questioning, trying out different personas, and worrying about the future.

  • Nature or Nurture?

    As an adoptive parent, I only occasionally think about how my kids are like and unlike me. I do see stories frequently about adoptees getting together with birth parents. They recognize all kinds of connections that they’ve never had before. Now they see someone else who loves golf as they do. Or they see where they got their long legs with knobby knees. Or they finally found someone else in the world who pukes at the taste of dark chocolate.

  • I Am My Mother After All

     I was 18 years old and sitting at Mom’s vanity doing my makeup.  Mom came up behind me and put her hands on my shoulders.  I looked from my face to hers and back to mine again and I started to cry a little.  I said,  “Oh My God…  I DO look like you!”  Boy, I sure know how to make someone feel like a million bucks!  That’s just one way that I’m like my mom.  

  • Mom + Dad = Me

    dadIf I had to choose which parent I am most like I would say a very little of either, but am a lot like my paternal uncle. 

    My dad was very social, loved speaking before groups, and was just really outgoing.  I cannot identify with most of these traits as I am more reserved in large groups, hate public speaking, and am sort of outgoing.  Now, on the other hand, my mother was definitely an introvert.  She depended a lot on my dad for his social support.  When he passed she had to work very hard to become more social and outgoing.  I would say I sort of fit in the middle of these two parents. The most drastic difference between my dad and I was speaking in front of groups.  I always say I would rather give birth than do any kind of public speaking.