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Nine Years, One Condo, and Zero Rings
The year was 1976. Chris and I had been together for nine years. We enjoyed each other’s company and were good friends. We shared friends and fun times. Chris had a great sense of humor. He was a disc jockey on the local radio station. He would talk about things we had done together and as he told his story, I could barely recognize it as a place I had been. He was able to make it sound like an enviable experience and one that anyone would like to participate in. -
Still Going Strong After 61 Years!
I am married to Art, my high school sweetheart, my soulmate, the father of my children, and oftentimes a pain in my ass! I say this last part as a joke, but I think you can imagine this can happen. -
Quirks and Conditions
Relationships come with many quirks and challenges. I experienced two failed marriages. I entered into each of these relationships with high hopes. I have learned that there were issues that got in the way of our happiness, that we never considered or discussed. Looking back, I realize I was very young and lacked the wisdom to make the best decisions. -
The Next Best Thing
In today’s world, we’re surrounded by endless choices — from what we eat to where we live, and even whom we date. This abundance of options can make us feel like there’s always something better out there, especially in relationships. The allure of the “next best thing” can pull us away from the person we’re with, making us wonder if someone more exciting, attractive, or compatible is just around the corner. -
A Struggle for Dad’s Approval
I am a pig-tailed, 4-year-old girl, demurely leaning against my dad’s extended knee. He is half kneeling in some wild daisies beside tall sheltering pines. He is grinning with pride at the camera, my right hand is thoughtfully touching his chin. My adoring eyes are on his face as I take the first bite out of a perfect red apple. It is a 1969 photo of peace and approval. It is the goal I seem to be always reaching for. -
Untangling From Toxic Friends
All relationships are challenging.When kids are very little it seems that having and making friends just go with the flow. As you get older things get a bit more complicated.
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Are Grandparents Obsolete?
Women over fifty (and of course, men also), are all so excited with the prospect of being grandparents. I go along with this as it gives us a second chance, or tries to make up for some of the mistakes that we made with our children. Most of us were probably young and did the best we thought we could, but as our children will most often advise us we often screwed up at some point. -
The Emotional Bank Account
When I was growing up, I always thought relationships had to be 50/50. Give and take needed to be equal or the relationship would not succeed. In reality, what I discovered was that relationships almost always consist of an unequal number of contributions. If one person is having a great day, they might contribute 80%. If the other person was having a bad day or a troublesome day, their contribution might only be 20% or less. The goal was to have the total equal to 100%. Unfortunately, that didn’t always happen.
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Developing Relationships with Your Mother-in-Law
Here are six tips for having a good relationship with your mother-in-law. -
There is a Difference Between Being a Friend and an Enabler
I have always prided myself on being a good friend, but unfortunately, I had a very bad experience at trying to be just that.
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How to be a (Worst) Friend
I am well well-suited to write this post for I fulfill the top three qualifications to be the worst friend…
I’ve always loved being with friends, laughing and hanging with great women, drinking and sharing memories with others who appreciate a self-deprecating story.
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Friends – Both Old and New – I Love You All!
My BFFs Are you the type of person that has lots of friends around you or just one or two good ones? Throughout my life, I’ve had a few different people that I considered my good friends.
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Want a Friend? Be a Friend!
When I was a little girl, I always felt like I didn’t have any friends. I was raised in a neighborhood of all boys. Play revolved around playing cowboys and Indians and other games that involved me being the only girl. I must say since I was the only one with cowboy boots and a holster set, I often played a lead role. I would pretend to be Roy Rogers or The Lone Ranger. Most of the boys were younger and smaller than I was so they didn’t argue with me. They followed my lead. -
Will You Marry Me?
What is a compliment?This can come in many ways. It could be when you were asked to prom, homecoming, or more exciting a marriage proposal.
I think my best compliment was my wedding proposal. Even though, in my case, it was when we were very young, but, guess what it is still working. Sometimes I don’t know how, but it is still in the work. I often kid that I need a medal, but, in fact, we both probably do. We have figured how to make this union work.
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Forgive and Forget vs. Confront, Fight, and Fix
I recently read the book “All About Love” and connected with the author, bell hooks, when she said that “Women believe it is a sign of commitment, an expression of love, to endure unkindness or cruelty, to forgive and forget”.I was married during college to a bright and passionate young man. We were married for 12 tumultuous years. During that time, I believed that everything must be done to save the relationship.
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Does Your Talk Match Your Walk?
Do I walk my talk? Do I follow through? Do my actions match my words? Do I do as I say? Sadly, in many cases, I would have to say NO…I feel kind of creepy admitting that because my intentions are always good. If I get down right honest, I often think out loud. I try out ideas like I try on clothes. When I speak my words and I look for reactions. My need to please is strong, so if the reactions to my thoughts out loud are too severe, I may go another direction. -
Practice What You Preach
I feel I definitely practice what I preach most of the time. For years and years, I’ve said I wanted a cottage on a lake. Now, it wasn’t just any lake or just any area, but I wanted it to be on South Lake Michigan Drive in Door County, WI, on Lake Michigan.
I always knew I was going to do this. We didn’t know how, didn’t know when, but it was going to happen. It had to. I put pictures up at work, constantly looked at the availability of properties and there was nothing… especially in our price range.
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Too Much Profanity!
I wish kids today (including my own) wouldn’t use profanity as much as they do. I really feel that there are so many more productive ways to express oneself other than swearing. This is something I strongly believe, BUT…. do I follow thru myself? Not so much.
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5 Love Languages – ‘Chelle
Have you ever heard of The 5 Love Languages? It is a book that I think EVERYONE should read!! I swear by the information in this book!!
Basically – there are 5 ways that people give and receive love.
1. Words of Affirmation – This language uses words to affirm other people.
2. Acts of Service – For these people, actions speak louder than words.
3. Quality Time – This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention.
4. Physical Touch – To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch.
5. Gift Giving – For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift.
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I Take Commitments Seriously!
I was the one in our family that always swore when I got married, it would be for life. I said that I take my commitments very seriously and wouldn’t renege on them. Then life got in the way.
I was so shy in school that I could barely say hello to a boy in the hallway. I was very uncomfortable having a conversation with someone of the opposite sex.
My sister was always popular. She had boyfriends at a young age and handled herself well. She married at age 19 some 55 years ago in July.
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Protected: Getting Used to Divorce
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Is Divorce the Answer?
Just hit the print button. that is what I say to anyone who has just plain had it in their insufficient marital status. I use this jokingly and unfortunately, have used the phrase for a serious situation also. You see, I have worked in a law office for 55 years and have seen so many divorces, I wouldn’t even be able to count. -
How Does This Work?
How do you downshift or relax after a sometime (most of the time) stressful day, or just an ordinary, could be boring day.I would like to say that I would leave work, go for a nice casual walk, come home and have a wonderful dinner and then relax for the rest of the night. Unfortunately, this doesn’t ever seem to happen, so when I come home after a very stressful day at work, I like an old-fashioned drink, then I love to (weather permitting) sit out in my patio and just read or listen to the crickets and chill.