How to Gain 8 Pounds in 8 Weeks

The day that I’m writing this is exactly 8 weeks until June 1st.

June always feels like the beginning of summer to me. Summer..sleeveless shirts, shorts, sandals (read no more covering up with turtlenecks, sweaters, or fleecy leggings). I’ve used these items to camouflage my fluffy body for a few months. Putting on weight happens soooooo effortlessly. I weigh myself every Monday (mostly) and watched the numbers creep up, pound by pound, each week. I wasn’t trying to lose weight, just trying to stay the same. But I was struggling.

You know when you’re struggling.

Slogging along in life.

You can smile at your neighbors. You take out the trash on Fridays and make sure your family is fed. Brushing your teeth happens. But you lose touch with yourself. There is no bandwidth,  no energy to do what makes you feel good and be healthy. I was in this place for about 8 weeks after Christmas and through February. Here is what I’ve learned if you want to gain 8 pounds in 8 weeks:

Livin’ the Couch Potato Life

Don’t exercise! In so many magazines and blogs I’ve read recently, I’ve heard about how you can’t easily lose weight by exercising. But let me tell you, you sure can gain weight if you don’t. I regularly walk each morning with Stella, and now our puppy Evie. But have you tried to exercise or do yoga with a puppy? I wrote about my daily routine here. But sometimes you just don’t FEEL like exercising. So I’ve been walking and when I get home, there is just so much to do. Breakfast, writing, homeschooling, making the bed, cleaning the grout on the kitchen floor…

Carbs are Your Friends

Eat carbs like a teenage boy. I have a husband, two teenage sons, and a daughter who dances 8+ hours a week. Carbs are staples in our kitchen. When I’m feeling tired, meals are served with pasta, rice or bread. (Last night, we had spaghetti for dinner and  I not only ate several slices of warm, soft, chewy Italian bread, but I slathered sweet butter on each slice…yum!)

Chug-a-lug

Drink alcohol daily. I love going to my parent’s house. Dad makes the best Brandy Old Fashions–sour, not sweet. (I got him this gift last Father’s Day and I have really enjoyed it!) Since my one son just got his driver’s license and needs practice, we go over and I have a couple of drinks EVERY night…I’m not driving…right?

STOP!

I’m even having a hard time writing this. I think I may be having an anxiety attack at this very moment. I am serious about how I put on the weight, but I’m not genuine about having neutral feelings about the gain.

You see, no one but me knows that I’ve put on a few pounds. I don’t look a lot different, but I FEEL different (and not in a good way). I’m stiff, my arms feel weak. There is a bike tire around my middle. I notice that it’s harder to cross my legs when I’m sitting in a chair.

Just 8 little pounds and all this fuss?!? It’s just a symptom of a larger problem, really. I’ve lost sight of myself, not taking care of ME. I’ve gotten wrapped up in the day-to-day and everyone else’s needs. Can you relate?

I’m wearing yoga pants and athletic shoes so I must be burning calories, right?

Well, we have exactly 8 weeks until the “beginning” of summer. Let’s walk a little more, ditch the sugar, and say no to flour.

Are you still with me?

Let’s drink lots of water and have some “come to Jesus” time with veggies and leafy greens!

That’s my plan. Check back on June 1st to see how well I fared.

Logo Lisa

What to Do When Your Body is Falling Apart

What do you do when your an active woman with a full life and your body starts to fall apart? Well I made an appointment to see my primary care physician…

At the office visit, my doctor informed me that that I no longer needed a mammogram, papsmear, or colonoscopy.  I found this interesting so I asked, “Why is that?”  He skirted around the question, but I guessed, “You mean I am just too old?” 

Well, the fact is, say…if cancer is detected,  I am actually too old to go through the process of working on a cure or whatever….

Midlife: That time in your life when you finally get your head together and your body starts to fall apart!

WOW!

HELLO?

Let that sink in a moment.

That made me feel, kind of, sort of WEIRD. 

I never thought that when you got older you kind of just let things go since they are going to go to hell anyway.  I guess I’m just not quite ready for that mindset.

So are we just supposed to die young?  It seems to me that our bodies are set to work until a certain age and then they seem to fall apart. (I seem to have gone past the life expecancy of my right knee!)

I have come to the conclusion that the reason the life expectancy of people years ago was much younger was because the body parts are for a certain age. If you have to deal with worn out knees, painful hips, or other decrepid joints, it just really  takes the life right out of you. 

I had been doing really well–physically, that is.  (We won’t talk about mentally.) I love to exercise–mostly walking with my dog, Emma. Well, I loved to when I had a knee that actually worked. 

But you want to know what is so hard about this whole situation? I don’t want to be “layed up” for weeks and weeks! I have always prided myself in being in fair shape.  But now that I have reached the ripe old age of xx, o.k. 76, I am really bumbed out about this because I don’t have the time or the patience to have a down time, or a recoup time.  My life has to go on. as. it. is.  

If you look around, you will see people with canes, walkers, wheel chairs.  That is because their longevity has run out and they are spending a lot of time and money just trying to keep their muscles,  joints and bodies working.  

I now understand, but don’t want to believe it.  

So, here is to one knee replacement, with another one to follow.  Onward you old body. You need to keep up with my wants and my desire to keep active and enjoy life.

So, if you ever find yourself in a similar position, your body seems to be ready to leave the party (and way too soon for the rest of you)…suck it up! Do whatever it takes to make your body do what it takes to keep up with your active lifestyle. 

Life is too short to waste.

Pain sucks.

Lets fix this old body and get on with living!

Who Is Sandy

Be True To Yourself

love youselfWhile we are all trying to improve ourselves and make the most out of our lives, one thing that we must keep in mind is to be true to yourself.  Following what society expects or desires you to be or to look like or to accomplish does nothing for you if you don’t agree with those expectations.  All you end up doing is frustrating yourself.  Here are 5 things to consider when trying to fit into society’s expectations and also be true to yourself.

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To Tan or Not to Tan

To tan or not to tan, that is the question!!!

TanningAs I sit here with my white legs, white arms, white face, white body, white everything looking like a newly plucked chicken, next to my Hispanic granddaughter with beautiful caramel skin.  I love caramel skin and in my next life perhaps I will have that gorgeous, flawless skin, caramel in color.  But, today I am reflecting back to the days when we actually tried to achieve, and did, but not without a little (a lot) discomfort and pain. Continue reading

No Bras Required – Ever!

bras source of strife

Age 18 – No Boobs!!

Bras have always been a source of strife in my life – being one of those people that really doesn’t require one completely.  (I’m the odd duck in my family in this regard)

 

Look at this picture!!  I’m 18 in this picture and you can see – I have NO BOOBS!!  Ha-ha!

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Bra Shopping – The Perfect 6 Step How-To Guide

I recently needed a change. I was feeling blah and stale. When I looked in the mirror, my middle-aged face, clothes, and body all looked tired. I smoothed my hands over my face. I ran my fingers through my hair. I looked at my self straight on and sideways. Then I saw it. The “girls” could use a lift. They were looking rather blobby and rounded. I think the terminology is “uni-boob”.   I decided that I would begin a mini-makeover from the inside out. That is, clothing-wise, with my undergarments–my bra.

I come from a long like of conservative, modest, and frugal women. My mom has never seen a new bra that can compete with the dingy, ancient one that’s held together with safety pins. Arghhhh.

Now, I have recently been intrigued by some interesting new styles and brands of bras out there on Pinterest and on Facebook ads.  But how do you buy a bra without trying it on first? (I have also never been able to buy a swimsuit–that I actually wore–without first trying it on in a store.) After analyzing strategy from the experts (my fellow Sidetracked Sisters) here are my 6 tips for a successful hunt!

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Changes are Coming – Time to Streamline My Life!

changesThe women in my life are facing many changes and it’s brought to mind the idea that to have the kind of life you want, you need to let go of what you don’t want in your life.  So it’s time to ask myself, what kind of life do I want and what do I need to let go of in order to obtain that kind of life?  

The first thing that comes to my mind is the clutter that I’ve accumulated since I moved out on my own.  I tend to be a pack-rat and my basement contains so much clutter. The storage room contains toys and games from when the children were little, ceramics that Grandma Is never got around to painting, old prom dresses, etc.  For whatever reason – I have a hard time letting go of the old stuff. By letting go of this clutter, I can make room for the new and simplify my home.  I’ve currently been cleaning up some of the paperwork clutter.  I’ve been shredded old documents that I’ve been holding onto dating back to 1986!!!  (Don’t ask me why I’ve been saving documents for that long!!!) Continue reading

I Was Sooooo Cute as a Child – What a Body!

body image

As a child, my body was an absolute bean pole, skinny that is.  I actually went to the doctor as a teenager to get something to help me gain weight.  He, of course, thought I was nuts, but gave me some kind of a prescription (probably just sugar pills).  He said, “Someday you will wish you were this way.”  Boy, was he right!

Then there is my hair.  I am old, so to speak, and I can truthfully say I have yet to find a hairstyle that I feel is me.  I can only keep trying.   I am still waiting for my prime.  I think it has come and gone, but one can only hope.  Some days, I can actually say “What the hell”, and then others it frustrates me.  I think that is normal for most people.  Well – it is for me.

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I Love Me – I Love Me Not!

What is something I love about me? And Why? Good grief. When someone asks me a question like this, my first response is “I have absolutely no idea”. Then when I get quiet and dig deeper, I find a thing or two.

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Want a Friend? Be a Friend!

BeingFriendWhen I was a little girl, I always felt like I didn’t have any friends. I was raised in a neighborhood of all boys. Play revolved around playing cowboys and Indians and other games that involved me being the only girl.  I must say since I was the only one with cowboy boots and a holster set, I often played a lead role.  I would pretend to be Roy Rogers or The Lone Ranger. Most of the boys were younger and smaller than I was so they didn’t argue with me. They followed my lead.

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