It started out like most other years, with the holidays being hysterical, but fun, and very busy. As the year went by my husband, Art started doing some rather things like not believing that we lived in the house which we indeed did live in. When we would go to our cottage he questioned whether or not we needed to go home as the cottage was not a place we should be. We did a lot of medical investigating, belonging to a memory clinic in Madison and locally. Art was always pleasant, but often would forget events that happened very recently.
Then we found out that he had an aorta value that was getting plugged in his heart and we had to decide whether or not to have surgery to correct this situation. Coming to the decision that we did not want his body to be good, but his mind was damaged with dementia. This family decided to let nature take its course. The last thing Art wanted was to end up mentally disabled and be anywhere but home. So, his wish to remain home went on without argument. At first, it was like someone had taken his brain and screwed it on backward. Although he never lost his loving nature to me, he became much quieter and uninterested in the projects he normally loved to do. He didn’t mind just sitting doing nothing and being. This was unnerving to me as he was usually so active. He loved to build, do projects, and work on what he would call his “honey do” list. He became interested in organization which he would do strangely. He would pick items and put them away, but never in an appropriate place or an appropriate matter. An example was at one point I found a large of potato chips in his sock drawer. And, he never remembered where he put anything, or that he even had taken the item.
I could write a book on the activities and happenings of this disease, but I am trying to remember my wonderful Art how the real Art was, not what this disease has made him.
He passed away on 12/30/2024 and I am so glad he is not suffering these difficulties anymore, but want to remember him the way I spent 65-plus years with him. To say he is missed is an understatement. He was my rock, my everything. He has been in my life for over sixty years, so his absence has left a vacant place for sure in my heart and life.
I will work on reflecting on him the way he was.
I have written a post of who Art was as follows:
Who is Art?
Art is my first real love.
He was my husband for sixty-plus years, the father of my children, a great verbal sparring person, and the person that I have chosen to spend my life with. To say this was an easy road at times would be a lie.
He was so much more than the above attributes. I was asked that at the very young age of fifteen when I first met Art, which made me choose him to be my life partner. I have to say he was the kindest, best-mannered, thoughtful person I have encountered. (Not to mention I thought he was extremely handsome.). Art would always look out for me and his family in a very caring and loving fashion.
When the girls as adults would come home, they never left without a full tank of gas. He was a parent who would most always be present at the girls’ sporting events, music recitals, dance performances, or whenever his presence was appreciated.
He always put me first, thought of me first, and made sure that I was always taken care of. When out socially, I never had to carry my drink from bar to table as that was his job. I usually never left work with fresh snow on my car as he would always stop by to clean it off for me before I left work. My car was always taken care of by him. Up until he got ill I never put gas in my car or even knew how to go through a car wash. (Or even take care of the oil. – private joke with Nate and Brad). This was always done for me by Art.
He had a very long Honey Do list and worked diligently to fulfill those items for me. It might have taken a while, but he usually got them done.
He was the kind of person who the phrase “Acts of Kindness” was what he showed as his caring nature. Sometimes you just had to read between the lines, but his caring was always there.
Let’s not forget he was a jokester. His favorite phrase was, “That reminds me of a story…”
He had a joke for every situation.
To say he will be missed is an understatement. He was his family’s rock, never can be replaced, and will stay in our hearts forever.
“By the way Art, I found your recent Honey Do list and you still have some work to do.”
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