Still Going Strong After 61 Years!

I am married to Art, my high school sweetheart, my soulmate, the father of my children, and oftentimes a pain in my ass!  I say this last part as a joke, but I think you can imagine this can happen.

I met my husband on a blind date when I was a mere fifteen years old.  My dad was very strict and didn’t like me dating at such an early age, but when an old boyfriend who was in DeMolay (an affiliation with the Masons that my dad was involved in) asked me to go to the outdoor movie, it made this date okay.  I didn’t tell him that I wasn’t going out with the old boyfriend, but actually was going on a blind date with Art. 

Well, that is how it started.  I didn’t imagine in a million years that I would be writing this sixty-plus years later and still be involved with Art, like being married!  To say that this blessed life was smooth sailing all the time would be a very large lie.  Our courtship was very rocky.  Art is two years older than me.  He graduated two years before me and immediately got a job.  He was going to go into the service, but I talked him out of that as I just knew I would never see him again.  Then he thought he would like to go to school to learn to be a barber.  Well, I didn’t want him to do that as that meant he would go away.  I was young and stupid.  I wanted him to be successful and rich and, of course, happy, but I didn’t want him to go out of my eyesight to do this.  In my era you either went on to school, went into the military, or got married.  So, one year after my graduation we got married on July 6, 1963.  I was working at a law office, which resulted in a fifty-six-year profession.  I must believe in commitments.  Then six months after we got married I got pregnant and then real life began.

Now, the purpose of this writing is to offer a lesson on relationships.  All I can say is:

1. Don’t ever think you can change the other person.  Everyone is an individual and that is okay.
2. Don’t think you have to have the same background. It can be more interesting and sometimes exciting to come from very different lifestyles.  Art is a country bumpkin and I am a city girl. 
3. Don’t always think your way is the only way.  Your partner needs to feel they have a brain too. (Art would find this an interesting statement I am sure.)
4. Enjoy each other’s differences.  Your differences can make fun conversations and keep things interesting.
5. Don’t feel like you have to do everything the other wants to.  I tried deer hunting – not for me.  He tried shopping – not for him.  
6. Try not to criticize, as well as argue,  especially in public.  Not only is this improper but it makes those around you very uncomfortable.
7. Sometimes do the unexpected!! (Use your imagination!!!).
8. Be forgiving.
9. Here is the biggy:  Put the time and energy into your relationship that you would put into a new relationship and you may find that you don’t need to find something new and different. Relationships take time and energy and you will get out of it what you put into it.

And, also, who has the time and energy to look elsewhere when you have what you want?

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