Raised with Grandma

My niece, Michelle came out of the rustic cabin on Green Bay shaking her head. She had a smile on her face but it was hiding her disbelief that my 10 year old son did not know how to make toast by himself. They had been in the kitchen when Matt asked her to make a piece of toast for me. She said “Wouldn’t mom be proud if you made it yourself?“ “Just put the bread in the toaster,” and he said “I know that!!” ‘At this point she said “then you’re halfway there! Next you push down the lever and when it pops up, you put butter on it”.

He looked at her timidly and did as she had instructed. Thus began one of the effects of having grandma living with us. Matt was not allowed to make toast (he might burn himself), pour milk or orange juice (what if he spilled it all over) or carry dishes from the table to the sink (He might drop and break them after all!!!)

We were blessed with sharing our home with my Mom, Matt’s grandma. She was convinced that she had to do things for him so he wouldn’t get himself into trouble. I often said to my mom, please let him do it himself. He’s got to learn. If he spills something, he’ll simply have to clean it up. 

This tale talks about the downside of having my Mom involved in caring for Matt when he was young. She was nurturing and loved him dearly. She and he had a beautiful relationship. Just to think of it brings a smile to my face. He was enamored with trains when he was younger. It was an everyday activity for him to hear a train whistle and grab Grandma’s car keys. He’d say “Come on grandma, we’ve got a train to chase”. She’d drop everything and hop in the car and take him to the nearby train crossing. She knew them all. They would sit and watch the switchman and engineer jockey cars for hours at a time. 

She always took Matt to the grocery store with her. She would ride the scooter cart and he would reach the items off the shelf for her. Eventually, she would stay in the car and Matt would take the list and do all of the shopping for her. They were a great shopping team. 

She sat on the bench as Matt took his first golf lessons from the Beaver Dam Rec Department. It was my mom that got instructions from the instructor about the need to keep Matt involved. He told her that Matt had natural talent and he needed to be encouraged. 

Mom was there for him and he had her back. I love thinking back to the closeness they shared. She had never been a big sports fan, but if Matt was playing Soccer or Hockey, she was there cheering him on. 

I think he learned easily how to make toast. But it would never have been easy for him to replace the love and closeness that the two of them shared. Being raised with Grandma had its drawbacks but more importantly it had its beautiful moments and a special bond that could never be replaced. 

Thinking about this wonderful relationship and all that Grandma and Matt shared always brings a smile to my face.

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