Not Grown Up Yet

Judy Goodson

3 years ago

I remember bits and pieces of being a child and I often wanted more. I wanted to stay up late like the grown-ups. I wanted to decide what I would eat for dinner and what to buy at the grocery store.

It seemed like all the big decisions were made by the adults.

When I became the age of a grown-up, I was surprised at how little I really made decisions just for me. I often second-guessed my choices. I wanted to leave home and then I wanted to move back home.

I wanted to be wealthy and popular and surrounded by friends, but things got in the way. I often found myself having to go with the desires of the other people in my life.

I think the one big thing I did not learn early enough in my growing-up was how to make decisions and choices that satisfied my needs as well as the needs of those around me.

Feeling conflicted is a pattern that has followed me into adulthood. I am not sure I have really discovered the best part of growing up yet.

I have very few parts in my life that have been clear choices. Frequently, I second guess the choices I have made.

The best part of growing up so far has been looking at the world and having the ability to accept things as they are or deciding to go another direction. Perhaps having this freedom of choice would be the best part of growing up. I simply must learn to feel good about my choices and to make them good for me and for others.

Part of my issue here is that I really do not feel that I have completely grown up. I still have many ideas to explore and many experiences to enjoy. I am still interested in breaking into the voiceover business. I hear other voices and I identify with the opportunity. I have done coursework and have the equipment. Time to get busy. I love music and played the guitar when I was younger. It is time to pick it up again and see how much I remember. I love the podcast work the Sidetracked Sisters are doing and I want to expand my involvement.

Maybe one day when I do grow Up, I will rewrite this topic with an explanation of the real “best parts.” For now, I have to say I do not know yet. The best is yet to come.