Fireplace Fails and Fixes
I was never the fire starter in our family—that job belonged to Dad and Lisa. They were the official flame whisperers, armed with newspaper twists, matches, and patience. I, on the other hand, preferred to enjoy the fire from a safe, soot-free distance.
Honestly, I’ve never been a fan of the whole process. Building the fire, keeping it going, making sure it doesn’t go out—it’s way too much work for something that’s supposed to be relaxing. The last time I tried lighting my own fire, it was a campfire, and all it was good for was sending smoke signals.
When I bought my first house, I made sure it had a fireplace. Both of the homes I’ve owned did, although I don’t remember ever lighting a fire in the New Berlin house. The one in Beaver Dam probably would’ve stayed cold too—until Mom suggested I install a gas fireplace.
Now that I could handle. Turn a dial and poof—instant warmth and zero kindling required. And this isn’t one of those fake-looking ones with glowing embers, either. Mine has actual flames—just burning over fake logs. It looks real, feels cozy, and doesn’t require a single match.
I loved it… until one day I turned the dial and… nothing happened. I tried to light the pilot light, but it wouldn’t stay lit. So, I called the fireplace fixer guy. For $150, he arrived, took one look, and politely informed me that I needed to push in the dial while lighting it.
Apparently, I wasn’t so much lacking fire-starting skills as I was lacking common sense—and $150 later, the fireplace was blazing again. Instant coziness… and a slightly bruised ego.
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