The “crisis”? Two-digit years. Computers thought “00” meant 1900, not 2000. Which, according to the news, meant banks would collapse, planes would fall from the sky, and your toaster might start a small nuclear war. Basically, we were all one spreadsheet away from the Stone Age.
And spreadsheets? Oh, I had them. Color-coded reports tracking every machine, program, and dusty beige box that needed an update. My life was floppy disks, sticky notes, and clients begging me to “make sure the fax machine is Y2K compliant.” (Spoiler: the fax machine was never going to time-travel back to 1900.)
Meanwhile, the public lost its collective mind. Families filled their basements with canned beans, bottled water, and enough batteries to power a small city. People yanked their cash out of ATMs. Some refused to fly on New Year’s Eve, convinced 747s would nosedive at midnight. And yes, a few folks unplugged their microwaves — because clearly, the Hot Pockets were a threat.
Me? I was busy racking up billable hours while trying not to roll my eyes. Honestly, I wasn’t worried. But when everyone else is panicking, you keep your head down, run the patches, and smile politely while they stockpile Spam.
New Year’s Eve rolled around. I had my phone, my reports, and my best “I’m totally ready for the apocalypse” face on. Midnight hit. The lights stayed on. ATMs worked. Payrolls ran. Airplanes kept flying. And the world spun on like… it was just Saturday.
Looking back, Y2K didn’t make my career. But it sure kept me in business — and gave me the best seat in history’s most boring apocalypse.
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