A Journey from Following to Visioning
I recently had the opportunity to write a vision statement, a personal declaration of what I want from life, built around what I would truly love. I’m exploring my passions, trying to discover what would help me create a life of purpose and joy.
What I’ve come to realize is that I’ve spent most of my life living other people’s visions. I never really took the time to clarify my own dreams or define what success and happiness looked like to me. Instead of trusting my own instincts, I often chose the safer road, one that had already been paved by someone else.
I’m not blaming anyone else. The truth is, I lacked the confidence to follow my inner compass. I didn’t have the clarity, or perhaps the courage, to honor what my heart was telling me.
One clear example was my involvement with a multi-level marketing company called Holiday Magic. In my early 20s, my former husband, along with his brother and sister-in-law, became involved in selling expensive makeup and skincare products. At the time, I was happily working at Hilldale State Bank in Madison, where I felt alive and appreciated. Every day at the bank was different, and I thrived on the variety.
However, my husband’s family thought I’d be great at selling door-to-door, and eventually, I gave in to the pressure. Despite my protests, I quit the job I loved and became a Holiday Magic salesperson. I hosted cosmetic parties and knocked on strangers’ doors, trying to sell something I didn’t believe in. My dad, a natural-born salesman, had always told me: “You’ve got to believe in what you’re selling.” And I didn’t. I couldn’t convince women on tight budgets to prioritize cosmetics over their families.
I lasted just two months. I asked for my bank job back, and thankfully, they welcomed me. My husband, however, did not. He had a different vision for my life, one that I couldn’t share. The tension between us continued to grow, and not long after, we divorced.
Looking back, that experience became symbolic of a much bigger truth: I didn’t have a vision for myself. I drifted. I defaulted to what was easy, what others wanted, what looked good on the outside, but inside, I was lost.
The pattern repeated itself. Another failed marriage. A long-term relationship that didn’t work. Eventually, I began to understand what I didn’t want, which brought me closer to discovering what I did.
Around that time, a group of women from the church invited me to make vision boards with them. I’d never done one before. But as I sifted through images and words, something inside me clicked. For the first time, I permitted myself to dream. I let my imagination and my heart take the lead.
My vision board revealed unexpected truths. I wanted a close, loving, mutually supportive relationship. I wanted a partner, not to complete me, but to walk beside me. A career wasn’t as important as a shared purpose, and yes, I was open to having children.
And then, as if by magic, I met Michael. He wasn’t perfect, but he was perfect for me. We built a life together, a strong, simple, beautiful life filled with love. We had a son in our second year of marriage and shared 36 years before Michael passed in 2023. In the end, we were back in Beaver Dam, surrounded by family. His love continues to guide me.
Now, I find myself in uncharted territory once again. And once again, I’m creating a new vision. But this time, I know how to listen to my heart. I want to use my experience to support others, to be a coach in life and in finance. The truth is, I’ve been coaching unofficially for years. Now I’m making it official.
At this stage of my life, the only limits I face are the ones I place on myself. I choose not to follow anymore; I choose to lead with clarity, courage, and vision.
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