Anniversary Lessons
Several years ago, I read a magazine article titled “Why Do I Keep Making the Same Dumb Mistakes?” It hit a nerve. I had two failed marriages and one long-term relationship that didn’t work out. That question, Why do I keep doing this?, felt like it was written just for me.
So I sat with it.
I realized the biggest mistake I kept making was confusing what I wanted with what I needed. I entered into relationships because I didn’t want to be alone, not because they were right for me. I let someone else’s attention determine my direction and shelved my hopes and dreams just to keep the connection.
At the time, my life was in emotional disarray. My beloved sister had passed away after a long struggle with MS. My parents leaned on each other and rediscovered joy in travel. My other sister was growing her family. I felt unmoored and vulnerable, and I rushed toward love as a lifeline.
Here’s where the anniversaries come in.
Both of my divorces were finalized on June 5th. I also graduated from high school on June 5th. What a strange intersection of endings and beginnings. And then, another one: on April 4th, 2023, my 74th birthday, my third husband, my soulmate, passed away.
Talk about a collision of dates and emotions.
I used to think of anniversaries as things to celebrate. However, I now understand that they also mark transformations. They are reminders of how far we’ve come, what we’ve survived, and how we’ve changed.
Some anniversaries carry balloons and cake. Others carry grave feelings and quiet strength. But all of them whisper, Look how far you’ve come.
Anniversaries mark the passage of time. But they also invite us to stop, reflect, and sometimes recalibrate. Some anniversaries aren’t celebrations. But they are milestones, just the same. Anniversaries mark the passage of time. But they also invite us to stop, reflect, and sometimes recalibrate. Some anniversaries aren’t celebrations. But they are milestones, just the same.
They draw a powerful contrast between beginnings and endings, joy and sorrow, exactly what anniversaries often represent.
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