No Phones After 9:00
Let me start by saying this: I’ve never claimed to be the cool mom. If my kids wrote a list of my greatest hits, I’m guessing “TV Nazi” and “Phone Thief” would land somewhere between “Makes Weird Soups” and “Sings in the Car with the Windows Down.”
But hey—every mom has her “thing,” right? The one non-negotiable rule she clutches like a lifeline while trying not to lose her ever-loving mind in the chaos of parenting.
Mine? Tech limits. Specifically, screen-time lockdown after bedtime.The TV Wiggle Years
When my kids were little, I ran a pretty tight ship when it came to TV. We didn’t have cable, which made me a screen-time superhero by default. Our television only played DVDs (yes, I’m that old), so when my nephews came over and flopped in front of the screen like sea lions on a dock, I got sneaky.
While they were zoned out, I’d casually wander outside and wiggle the wire—just enough to make the screen go fuzzy. They’d trudge out to the garden where I was happily digging in the dirt and announce, “The TV’s broken again.”
Cue my innocent shrug. “Oh noooo. Guess you’ll have to come outside and play. Tragic.”
I believed then—and still do—that kids don’t need unlimited access to screens. I was a card-carrying cheerleader for our school’s annual “TV Turnoff Week.” While other parents struggled, I strutted through the week like some smug anti-screen warrior. No cable? No problem. Gold star for me.
Welcome to the Age of Pocket Portals
And then… smartphones.
When each of my kids turned 13, they got their own little dopamine dispenser, otherwise known as a phone. I didn’t micromanage their use during the day. They texted, TikToked, and Snapchatted to their hearts’ content.
But then came The Rule:
All phones go on the charger in the kitchen at 9:00 PM.
No exceptions. No loopholes. No “but I’m just finishing a video about a goat who can play piano.”
Sorry, Beethoven Goat. You’ll have to wait.
This rule was simple, firm, and enforced with the gentle tenacity of a mama bear who also happens to be sleep-deprived and slightly over-caffeinated.
Did they fight it? Of course.
Do they still fight it? You bet.
Kadon, now off at college, regularly reminds me how “ridiculous” it was. Luka is a parent now, so he’s entering the “ohhhhh, now I get it” phase. And Aubrey (16) and Mendy (17), who currently live with us, try to test the rule nightly. I respond by waking them up at 10 p.m. to hand over their phones like some kind of bedtime bouncer.
Why I’ll Die on This Hill
Here’s the deal: I’ve taught too many sleep-deprived, zombie-eyed children to pretend I don’t know what happens when kids have unrestricted screen access. If there’s a screen in the room, it will win. Every time.
And while I trust my kids (sort of), I trust the internet about as far as I can throw it—and that sucker is heavy. As a Walmart night manager once wisely said, “Nothing good happens after midnight.” I’d argue nothing good happens after 9 p.m. with a teenager and a phone.
So yes, I will fight this fight. With stubbornness. With love. With the full awareness that someday my kids may say, “Remember how mom made us charge our phones in the kitchen like it was 1983?” (Not that we had anything resembling cell phones back when I was in High School, but I didn’t have a phone in my bedroom. Mom had to wake me up and I had to use the one on the wall in the upstairs hallway if someone called late at night.)
I can live with that. I’m not here to be their best friend. I’m here to be the reason they’re well-rested and slightly annoyed.
Final Thoughts from the Tech Tyrant
I may not win the “Chill Parent of the Year” award, but that’s okay. My house, my rules, my charger. This isn’t about control—it’s about boundaries, safety, and making sure their brains don’t turn to jelly while scrolling TikTok at 2 a.m.
Call me old-fashioned. Call me overprotective. Just don’t call me after 9 p.m.—because I’ll be asleep. And their phones? They’ll be in the kitchen. Right where they belong.
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