Toxic Gossip
Gossip is the silent saboteur of workplace culture. Like a slow-growing cancer, it spreads quietly—creating paranoia, breeding mistrust, and damaging self-esteem in ways that can take years to undo.
When I worked in banking, I was responsible for new employee orientation. One of the most critical topics we covered? The toxic impact of gossip. I’d paint a picture they’d all recognize:
Someone walks into a room, and a group mid-conversation suddenly falls silent. Eyes avert. Smiles fade. Even without a word spoken, the message is loud and clear—you were the subject. That’s the sting of gossip. It’s subtle, but it cuts deep.
I was very clear: Gossip could be grounds for termination. It divides teams, poisons morale, and often leads to retaliation that hurts everyone involved.
Instead, I encouraged new employees to engage in solution-focused conversations. Talk that builds, not breaks. Questions like:
“How can we improve this process?”
“What can we do differently next time?”
These kinds of discussions invite everyone in, spark creativity, and foster growth without tearing someone else down.
Here’s the thing about gossip—it usually starts with one person’s opinion, and when others chime in without the full story, it turns into a game of emotional telephone. The truth gets twisted. Feelings get hurt. Trust gets shattered.
At our Sidetracked Sisters meetings, we write on a weekly theme for 15 minutes, then share aloud. When I read my original draft, the suggestion was to include a personal example. I tried—I really did. I thought and thought until my thinker wore out. But I couldn’t come up with a juicy gossip story.
Not because it never happened, but because I made a very conscious choice not to participate. I don’t want to be the person who spreads whispers in the shadows. And I sure don’t want to know what’s being said behind my back. If I need to correct something, please come tell me directly. Give me the dignity of knowing—and the opportunity to do better.
My son Matt shares this same mindset. When he was little, one of his favorite books was Gossip by Jan Pieńkowski. I pulled it off the shelf this week and read it again. It’s a clever tale about how a story can shift and twist until the truth is completely unrecognizable. I’d like to think it helped shape his values early on—and mine, too.
Have you ever been the target of gossip?
Or maybe you caught yourself in the act and had to course-correct?
Share your story or your thoughts in the comments. Let’s talk about how we can stop the whisper cycle and start speaking truth with courage and compassion.
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