Hot Mess Survival Guide

We’ve all been a hot mess—running late, hair barely brushed, coffee spilling, and somehow still expected to function like a responsible adult. But here’s the secret: no one really has it all together. Some people are just better at faking it.

If your life feels like a constant state of barely holding it together, don’t worry—you’re not alone. Here are my go-to tricks for looking like a put-together human (even when I’m internally spiraling).

1. Master the “Effortless” Look

People who seem effortlessly polished aren’t necessarily more put together—they’ve just mastered the art of quick fixes. Here’s how to fake it:

• Dry shampoo is your best friend. Greasy hair? A couple of spritzes and a messy bun = instant upgrade. Pro tip: If you have dark hair, use a tinted dry shampoo to avoid looking like you just powdered your scalp.
• Video chat filters to the rescue. Puffy eyes? No makeup? No problem. Turn on a soft-focus filter or use virtual makeup features—instant glow-up with zero effort.
• Yoga pants are the ultimate work-from-home hack. If your top half looks professional on video calls, no one will ever know you’re wearing the stretchiest, comfiest pants you own.

2. Have Emergency Fixes for Every Disaster

Real talk—things go wrong constantly. The key to faking it is having a quick fix for every situation:

• Spilled coffee on yourself? Call it “intentional tie-dye,” cover it with a scarf, or just commit to wearing all black.
• Running late? Send a vague text like, “Be there soon—stuck in a meeting!” (Even if you just overslept.)
• Forgot an important task? Say, “I was just about to follow up on that!” and scramble behind the scenes to get it done.
• Overslept for work? Blame “technical difficulties” or a “scheduling mix-up.” Bonus points if you say, “Ugh, my alarm totally didn’t go off!”
• Late on a deadline? Say, “I just wanted to make sure it was perfect before sending it over.” Instant recovery.
• Didn’t do the reading? Say, “I’d love to hear everyone’s thoughts on this first!” It makes you seem engaged and buys you time.
• Forgot an event? Say, “I was just about to text you about that!” Then casually ask for details like you were totally on top of it.
• Accidentally ignored a text for days? Respond with, “Omg, I thought I replied! My bad!” No one questions this.

3. Develop a Signature “I Have My Life Together” Move

You don’t need to have everything under control—just enough to make it look convincing.

• Keep one thing consistently organized. Maybe your desk is a disaster, but if your planner is color-coded, people will assume you’re meticulous. (This is my favorite trick—my planner is beautiful, but my desk? A disaster.)
• Answer emails like a pro. Using phrases like “Circling back on this” or “Per my last email” instantly makes you sound professional.
• Use a notes app like a boss. Grocery lists, half-baked ideas, and reminders? No one needs to know. Just pretend you’re checking something important mid-conversation.
• Casually say, “Let me check my calendar.” Even if your calendar is empty, this makes it seem like your time is valuable.
• Keep your phone on “Do Not Disturb.” It screams “I’m focused” instead of “I’m avoiding notifications from three group chats and a bill reminder.”
• Use business-y jargon in casual conversations. Saying things like “Let’s circle back” or “I’ll touch base with you” makes you sound like you run a Fortune 500 company—even if you’re just coordinating brunch.
• Have a signature scent. A great perfume or cologne makes people assume you have your life together (even if your laundry pile suggests otherwise).
• Carry a notebook—even if it’s full of doodles. People will assume you’re deep in thought and organized.
• Drop podcast or book references. “Oh, I heard an expert talk about this on a podcast the other day.” No one needs to know it was a true crime podcast.

4. Accept That No One Actually Knows What They’re Doing

The biggest secret? Even the people who seem effortlessly put together are faking it, too. Everyone is just winging it to some degree. So relax, embrace the chaos, and own your hot mess energy with confidence.

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