Letting Go of the To-Do List
The holidays are supposed to be a time filled with joy, love and celebration. But for some people, it can be a very challenging and stressful time of the year. Somewhere between endless lsit of things to do: house cleaning, picking out the tree, decorate the house (inside and out), buy gifts, wrap gifts, bake cookies, and work full-time, we are supposed to find time to enjoy the holidays.
I always have grandiose ideas of being prepared for the holidays well in advance of Christmas, but I seem to be one of those people that is doing things up to the last minute. Can you imagine going to the store on Christmas Eve to buy last-minute presents? Well… been there, done that, and it’s not fun.
For someone who is a perfectionist, the hard part of the holidays is that I want everyone to be thrilled with the event. It’s a characteristic that is left over from childhood, but I want everyone to get all the things they want and I want everyone to be happy. This is a very lofty and sometimes – unrealistic goal.
One thing I’ve done to help with the stress of the holidays is to ask each kid, “What is one thing you must have to make this a successful holiday?” I sometimes use that question in relation to multiple parts of the holiday, such as “What is one item that must be part of the holiday meal for you to be happy?” and “What is the most important gift you want from your list?”
Some other things I’ve done over the years to help me cope with the challenges of the holidays are:
- Setting boundaries – I don’t need to do all the things during the holidays. If there is an event that doesn’t bring me joy – I don’t have to participate if I don’t want to.
- Letting go of perfectionism – I’m trying to embrace the fact that I can’t control everything and nothing is ever perfect. Instead, I try to focus on what truly brings me joy.
- Creating new traditions – This one is a bit harder as both my kids and myself are creatures of habit, but as the family evolves, we’ve begun to create new traditions that fit the new family dynamic. Alternating holiday venues has been one successful modification that still works.
As the holiday season approaches, it’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of expectations, obligations, and to-do lists. But through trial and error, I’ve learned that the key to enjoying the holidays isn’t in perfection, but in embracing what truly matters: spending time with loved ones, creating meaningful moments, and letting go of the pressure to make everything flawless. By setting boundaries, focusing on joy, and being open to change, I’ve found a more balanced and fulfilling way to celebrate. After all, the holidays are about making memories, not checking off an endless list.
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