When did I stop looking forward to the future?
Our family went on yearly epic summer camping trips. My favorite place to visit was Jellystone Park up in Sturgeon Bay, WI. The days were filled with swimming, bike riding, eating onion sandwiches in the afternoon, and singing around the campfire in the evening.
I looked forward to getting married to my college sweetheart, Tom, when I was 21 and to my love, Craig, when I was 35. Both weddings were sweet and heartfelt. The best part of each was sharing the ceremony and celebration with my loved ones. The lengthy preparation and anticipation added to the specialness.
More recently I was excited about travel. I went to Ireland several years ago with Mom, Michelle, and our friend Melanie. A couple of years ago, I went to Norway with my mother-in-law Louellen, sister-in-law Michelle, and friend Michelle. Each adventure was a study in living in the moment, flexibility, and adventure.
That brings us to the present. I am currently in a difficult place. I have some financial goals and daily joys that come from my solid self-care routines, but there is a spark that is missing.
A recent coffee date with a longtime friend highlighted this feeling. We are both retired from educational careers. We have been friends for over 20 years. She talked about how her post-retirement career which takes up a few weeks a year is about all that she can handle. She loves spending time rocking babies in the hospital NICU and tormenting her grown children about when they are going to get married and have babies for her to hold.
I spent most of our time asking her questions about her family, her girls, her consulting. I didn’t want to discuss my local Wally World management position. As we caught up on life post-retirement, I found myself hesitating to share about my current role at work and my passion for blogging and podcasting.
Now, I love working on this blog and podcasting is my current passion. But they both seem like…fluff. I get such a feeling of accomplishment from them, but sometimes I wish more people were interested. My goal has always been to inspire others…and no one seems especially moved or excited by my words.
But amidst these doubts, I hold onto the belief that our actions, no matter how small, have the power to inspire and uplift others. Whether through a heartfelt conversation or a creative endeavor, we can make a difference in someone else’s life.
So, as I navigate this journey of self-discovery, I choose to embrace the challenges with courage and optimism. I’ll continue to pursue my passions, knowing that even if my words don’t always resonate with others, they still hold value to me.
Here’s to finding joy in the everyday moments and trusting that the best is yet to come.
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