With the passing of time, I realize that time is not infinite. I have often thought that if I wasted a day, it was no big deal. I now realize that it all counts. I need to value my time and make sure that I accomplish items of progress each day.
Sometimes I’ve found myself taking the easy way out instead of selecting the best avenue for me. For example, I accepted a marriage proposal when I was seventeen and wore an engagement ring my entire senior year. I had thought I would be college-bound but because this choice had too many unanswered questions, I went ahead and got married at the ripe old age of eighteen. This was definitely an education, but not the kind that would help me to move myself forward in life.
I think my fear of the unknown has pushed me into following the path of least resistance. It seems to me that I need to spend more time reflecting and deciding about my future.
There have been good times along the way and yet it seems that they were just placeholders for the activities that would have led me to accomplish meaningful goals.
It’s like keeping a bucket full of mud, not allowing any room to fill that bucket with positive things that life has to offer. I took my first bank job because it was easy and available. I would have liked to start college and get ideas about which direction I needed to go, but that didn’t happen.
In spite of these errors in judgment, I have experienced some successes. My career in banking, while not being fulfilling, supported me and kept me from being homeless. Along the way, I developed skills in compassion and understanding. I came to know how easy it is to not answer the door when opportunity is knocking.
I can only say that the lessons I have learned about relationships, career choices, abundance and looking out for myself have proven to have value. Right action at this point in my life is critical. While I have few regrets, I am looking to achieve more successes with the knowledge my lessons have taught me.
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