I sat down at my desk and opened my daily calendar. Suddenly it hit me. Today is April 4, 2019, and I am turning 70 years old. Most of the people I know, who are my age, seem to have their act together. Several friends own lovely cabins up North. People I graduated from High School with have substantial pensions and retirement funds. Others have retired and are traveling and seeing the world. I always thought I would be enjoying these things too. Instead, I was still working at the bank and as much as I enjoyed helping others reach their goals, working at the bank was no longer one of mine.
70 years old. What was next? Was this the end or the beginning? I often have stayed “too long at the dance” because I felt I had to be responsible and dependable. As I thought over the past many months, I realized that the joy had gone out of my days. I was trying to be what everyone else wanted me to be and needed me to be.
I have often asked myself what I want to do for myself “when I grew up”? What I didn’t want to be doing was always easier to come up with.
The next chapter must begin now. Clarity comes to me in pieces. I love to write. Where could that take me? My voice-over work is joyful. Why did I stop? Where did my crisis of confidence come from?
Time to grow a thicker skin and ask, “Has anyone been successful doing the things I truly want to do?” If yes, then why not me?
….to be continued.
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