Growth in Progress (Kind of)
I’m 15 years old and I’m begrudgingly awake for the day trying to get ready for school. “Mommmmmmm…. What should I wear today?” I could never make this decision easily. She enters my room while I’m dozing against the doorframe of my closet. “How about this?” as she pulls out a sweater. “Nah – I don’t want to wear that!” I sneer. “Ok – fine. What about this one?” as she picks out a different shirt. “Nah – not that one either.” I again reply. “If you don’t like my suggestions, why did you ask me?” she queries. “Well – now I know what I DON’T want to wear!” I bantered. Mom then left my room, shaking her head.
Sometimes I just like to argue with people (mostly family). No matter what they have to say, it’s wrong in my eyes. Even if they are right, I’ll still argue and tell them they are wrong. When I was younger, my family just attributed this to me being a psychological challenge to live with. As I’ve gotten older, I still do this, but at least I can now recognize when I’m feeling this way. I don’t have an answer as to why I feel this way, but recognizing you have a problem is the first step to fixing it, right?
Even tonight, when trying to decide on what to write, Lisa was giving me suggestion after suggestion, and to each one, I had a reason why this one wouldn’t work or why that one didn’t make sense. As we talked, it dawned on me that my feelings about this topic were the same as my feelings when picking out outfits in high school.
Something in my head tonight is making me feel argumentative and uncooperative. Maybe it’s my upcoming surgery, maybe I’m just tired, or maybe I’m still a psychological challenge. No matter what the reason, the growth I see in myself is the ability to see something I don’t like and work to change it.
Growth takes time, okay? Baby steps. Maybe by the time I’m 80, I’ll finally pick an outfit—or a blog topic—without turning it into a full-scale debate. Until then, I’ll just keep everyone on their toes. You’re welcome. 😎
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