Who is Sandy?

It is 2025, and I have been indoctrinated into the club of “Widowhood”.  Wow, what a culture shock.  I had a relationship with my husband, Arthur, for approximately seventy years, sixty-two of those being married.  This was my life up to now: married, mother of two, secretary-paralegal, housewife, lover, and friend.  Now it is just me and our two springer spaniels, Emma and Ivy.   This whole year has been a year of adjusting, holding on to memories, and just trying to be me.

It has been a stressful, soul-searching, and strange transition in my life.  Being retired for several years and supposedly having a lot more time, I still found it so sad and stressful while my husband was ill.  He retired on his eightieth birthday.  He then seemed to develop a severe case of dementia (Alzheimer’s), which he suffered through for approximately three years. He later suffered from a clogged artery, which caused him to pass.  I felt bad that he didn’t have a chance to truly enjoy his retirement, but truthfully, he seemed to have done what he wanted to do.  We had a lot of laughs and tears during this time.  He was never mean or didn’t lash out, always the gentleman, most of the time.  

In the meantime, I am suffering from shortness of breath.  Nothing is showing to cause this as I have gone through several tests.  I am on a high dose of prednisone, which has caused me to gain weight and have big, puffy cheeks.  It seems, after more testing, that this extra weight has to be corrected so as to improve my health.  

I have had help getting rid of a lot of wood, junk, and things that had accumulated, and now that Art won’t be needing them, it is time to get rid of a lot of stuff.  

I need to put down an actually wonderful thing that occurred while making arrangements while for Art after he passed.  First of all, my daughters, Michelle, especially, was my rock.  She was there for me when I had to help Art off the floor, out of the bathtub, and generally take care of him.  My other daughter, Lisa, did what she could, but she was working in a job that made her not available at all times.  Well, when Art passed, it was about 8:30 a.m. on December 30th, 2024.  Happy New Year, right?  All of a sudden, absolutely all of his grandchildren came to see grandpa.  We all sat or stood around his bed and talked, laughed, and cried.  Mostly cried.  The grandsons carried their grandpa out to the waiting vehicle.  We then congregated in the living room for the rest of the day, and all sat around and shared wonderful memories of their grandpa.  I was so moved to see how much he actually meant to these children.  Art could be tough on the boys, as I think he wanted them to be perfect.  He loved them all so much, as he shared with me on many occasions.   We had a wonderful celebration of life at the Masonic Temple for Art.  At that time, all the grandsons got up and talked briefly about grandpa.  I was so surprised and pleased that they would do this. That night, they all came to my house with pillows in hand and said they were going to have a sleepover at my house so I wouldn’t be alone.  Gads, I am so lucky.  What did I do to deserve such a fabulous family?  

I have six grandchildren, Bradley, Nathan, Jessica (Michelle’s children), Lucas, Kadon, and our Jalepeno Princess, Aubrey   *Lisa and Craig’s children).  I now have three great-grandchildren, Junior (Lucas), xxx, and Rose’a.  

Our family is not without drama and problems, but we are a strong bunch and manage to work out things.  

I had a revelation that I would be here for at least another ten years.  This freed me up to not worry about not being here, and able to enjoy my family, relationships, and my life.  

Not a minute, hour, or day goes by that I don’t miss Art.  Actually, I can’t imagine my life without him.  I must admit it feels good to have my own time, but then I remember the touches, the “I Love yous”, and the feeling of loss is overwhelming.  I keep getting asked if I have a boyfriend.  Really?  When you have had one of the good guys who would need to go that route.  Great memories will have to do for this old girl.

So, on to the first day of the rest of my life:

 Sidetracked Sisters

Sidetracked Sisters is a foursome of family members who love to get together, talk incessantly for hours, and have big ideas that go in all different directions, no two seem to be the same.  We are two sets of sisters and have always been close.  Two of these characters are my daughters and one is my sister.  It creates hours of fun, hysteria, lots of laughs, and, yes, sometimes tears.  We are very diverse in our personalities and styles. That creates lots of “interesting” discussions, chat sessions, and more often than not some hysteria.