Summertime Wannabe

When I had a young family, I remember wanting to spend with them, especially in the summer.

On many occasions, Lisa heard me say as I was getting ready for work, “I wish I could stay home with you girls and enjoy this wonderful summer day.”

I have always worked from the time I was fourteen until retirement three years ago.

It was not always easy but I wanted to have it all.  I mostly wanted a family, stability, and freedom to be an adult and enjoy life. 

It was especially true that I wanted to be a stay-at-home with my two girls.  Summer was my favorite time and I can remember standing at the patio door overlooking the files and smelling the sweet-smelling clover that permeates from the fields that surrounded our home.  We had a beautiful view of the lake and one of only a few homes that were built in the North side of town.  To me, it was a dream come true.  I could imagine long leisurely mornings sitting on our screened patio with the girls, having almost nothing to do but enjoy the freedom that summer brings.  No school at that time meant very few deadlines, not to mention the absence and the hysteria of school day preparation.

I wanted to work after high school as I had worked hard to get good grades which enabled me to get a good job.  I got married and started my family before really getting into the workforce environment. I also wanted the stability and the money freedom that having a two-income family can have.  Let’s face it, I wanted it all.  

Staying home as I often saw it, was doing a lot of cooking, cleaning, and laundry.  For some reason when you work, you seem to squeeze these activities in without having them take over your life.  I often would hear my peers stress about finances and being unable to do the extra things with their families.  Then on the other hand I would go past a park on the way to and from work and would see families playing or enjoying a time with their family.  I wanted that too.

I feel I had the best of both worlds.  When needed while working I had a very cooperative, loving, and wonderful mom to take care of my two girls.  This helped me not feel so guilty for working as she was a great caregiver and the girls loved being with her.  Then when we had family time I didn’t have to stress so much for our family to participate in those things that were important for our enjoyment.

So, summer was really the time I would have wanted to stay home to fulfill my dream of being a stay at home mom.

Maybe in my do-over.

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