Permission to Avoid Fear

In the day it was felt that if you didn’t meet all of your dreams, goals, were in your job of your dreams, be successful (whatever that meant” where you wanted to be at the ripe old age of thirty, you were, I guess, “A Failure”. That was for a rather short period of time on my part as I just couldn’t accept that. My Dad changed jobs in his fifties and wished he had done it long before that. So, I decided screw that Idea, just keep forging on and as long as you are happy that is a success.

I was always told in groups, school and organizations, that something I must do was learn how to speak in public. Well, I fought this uncomfortable idea for years and years. When I finally reached the ripe old age of, perhaps 40, I said enough. I gave myself permission to not have to speak in public if I didn’t want to. I had wanted to try out for cheer-leading when in high school, but because I was afraid to be demonstrative in public, and after hours of practicing, i didn’t try out as I just knew I wouldn’t make it. I couldn’t speak much less chant or yell in public. Now I love to talk, talk and talk some more, but in small groups please.

I was always comparing myself to others, and that constantly held me back. Somewhere along the way I decided I was me and I would do what I could to make me the best I could be and would achieve my dreams. One of my dreams was to own a cottage. I knew at an early age that was impossible, and who was I to think I could do that. This was reaching out of my comfort zone. I posted that dream into my mind, dreamt of it, checked it out at every opportunity and, guess what, It became a reality. This was in a way my way of speaking out, coming out of my shell so to speak and be proactive. You see, this was seeing a dream come true that I could never have done when I was younger. I was afraid to speak up, afraid to do anything by myself, and just plain find out who I was and just do it.

Now at my ripe old age, I am ready for more challenges, but don’t ask me to speak in front of a crowd!!!! I am just on to bigger and better things for me and it won’t be public speaking!

#sidetrackedsisters #sidetrackedsandy #sanity #mindset #thoughts