Developing Relationships with Your Mother-in-Law

Mother-in-lawHere are six tips for having a good relationship with your mother-in-law.

Doris wasn’t just a mother-in-law, but a fabulous friend.  Personally, I feel she had quite a bit more to overlook in me in the beginning as I was selfish, opinionated, and just plain stupid. Example – I had my second child and was not up to par.  It was spring and, of course, flower planting time.  I being the perfectionist (and this is where stupid and selfish comes in) did the unthinkable…  To be nice she planted a peachy/pink bed of petunias in an area where I would usually put, I think, red.  Would you believe that when I felt up to it, I actually replaced her petunias with my preferred color?  When I think of that today I just cringe.  She never said a word, but I’ll bet she was not impressed with me.  

Tip 1 – Be thankful for the little things they do for you and be gracious

When my husband and I started going together we were of different religions.  I was with a girlfriend that was Lutheran, the same as my mother-in-law, and she said to me.  “Why doesn’t Art find a nice Lutheran girl to date?”  At the time I was appalled.  Today I think it is pretty funny as later in life I turned to Lutheran and she turned to the religion that I had been for her second husband.

Tip 2 – Don’t sweat the small stuff.  There is always tomorrow and things change

The two of us came from entirely different backgrounds.  She was a farm girl and I was a city brat.  Her taste was totally different than mine and we had a good time teasing about my exotic, or just plain different taste than hers.  One time after putting up a half-moon mirror in my family room I asked her what she thought and she replied, “I think it looks totally stupid.”  O.K. then!!!  I had grown up enough by this time to actually laugh it off and I still have that totally stupid mirror still hanging in my family room.

Tip 3 – Appreciate true honesty and don’t take it personally

She was always there when I needed her, or just a phone call away.  She actually got a warning ticket for speeding on Center Street to come and wash my kitchen floor.  I was getting ready for one of the girl’s weddings and she thought I could use some help.  The officer asked her where she was going in such a hurry, 50 in a 25-speed zone, and she said to wash my daughter-in-law’s floor. He gave her a warning, but I’ll bet there were a few laughs down at the station after that. I hope none of them knew me so as to judge me, expecting this poor older lady to wash my kitchen floor?.  

Tip 4 – Appreciate the things they do for you even if it is not necessary

When I planted my perennial garden I worked during the day and had to get my plants in after dark for some reason.  My mother and mother-in-law sat on logs in my backyard with flashlights to help me see what I was doing.  My backyard neighbor had to hang over the fence in the morning to see what the hell was going on. 

Tip 5 –  Appreciate the big things they do for you

I could go on and on.  She has since passed on and I miss her terribly.  I miss our late evening gab sessions on the phone.  Her stories that went on and on, and her being there for me was so enjoyable.  Sure, she made me a little crazy sometimes, but I learned to overlook her differences and she overlooked mine.  When she told me that I was more like a daughter to her than a daughter-in-law that was the ultimate compliment.  

Tip 6 –  Enjoy their differences and learn from them

They seem to have a book of knowledge that they love to share.  Remember that they also compete with your own mother on most occasions and also learn how not to tread on toes.

Who Is Sandy
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Halloween Is Not Just For Kids! – Enjoy Yourself!

halloweenWho thinks that Halloween is strictly for kids.  I have noticed that a lot of adults sure know how to enjoy themselves.  I have had a couple of fun memories that still make me laugh about Halloween!    

First of all, you have to know me to know that I have a really weird sense of humor.  I love to pull practical jokes.  I get totally hysterical when I get a funny result to the point, you know, where you have to bend down on one knee so as not to pee your pants!!!!  This, of course, does not make me the most popular person to anybody, including my family.  

Picture this – I was at Walmart with my daughter and her youngest son, Nathan.  He was 3 years old.  He was fascinated with all the scary masks and was totally engrossed to the point he didn’t hear me when I kept calling to him.  I put on the scariest mask I could find and kept calling him to look at me.  He didn’t pay attention.  So, I got down on my knees, got close to him, and said, “Nate!”  He finally looked at me and when he noticed me, he let out the most awful, blood-curdling, loud scream and proceeded to run away from me, racing down the aisle to get away from the monster I had become.  My daughter, with her baby girl, Jessica, in tow in another aisle, heard this and thought he got killed. 

Another time that I still find myself laughing hysterically is when my oldest daughter was two years old. She had on a red snowsuit, with a sign that said, “trick or treat”.  Plus she had on a silly witch mask  Being she was only two, she was really dazed and confused as to what was going on.  It was dark out and I took her to a neighbors house.  Put her up on their porch.  At this point, a group of other trick or treaters came and kind of pushed her aside.  When the lady opened the door Lisa was behind it and was pushed off the porch and fell onto one of the bushes.  Trust me, she wasn’t hurt, but when she looked back at me with this dumb, no expression, witch mask I totally lost it.  I, of course, was kneeling down on the road so as not, you guessed it, pee my pants, laughing hysterically.  The lady at the house thought I was totally nuts, to say the least.  As I write this, I still break down with hysterical laughter much to my daughter’s dismay.

As I said, Halloween is just as much for adults as kids.  Maybe with jello shots, putting bunny ears on your dog, put on a witch hat, own it, let yourself be a kid, and have fun.

Who Is Sandy
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No Bras Required – Ever!

bras source of strife

Age 18 – No Boobs!!

Bras have always been a source of strife in my life – being one of those people that really doesn’t require one completely.  (I’m the odd duck in my family in this regard)

 

Look at this picture!!  I’m 18 in this picture and you can see – I have NO BOOBS!!  Ha-ha!

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Who the Hell Invented Bras?? It Must’ve Been a Man!

bras

Bra drawer of a cute perky teen

Who the hell invented bras, and who the hell says we have to wear them????

Who likes bras? Well, I don’t know many people, women, who do. On two different occasions, maybe three, I have gone bra shopping with family and friends, spending many, many hours in dressing rooms, thinking that I have found the ONE. Then a couple of days later I returned all them much to the dismay of my helpers. As you will note in some other Sidetracked Sisters’ posts I am not very popular in this department.

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Shopping for Intimates (namely Bras) with my Sister?!?

braBra shopping is an event that comes along very rarely in my life.  Several years ago, I found a bra that fit well and I keep buying the same make and model over and over in different colors but mostly flesh color. I know, boring.

Frankly, my first choice, when I’m not out in public, is to go without. I find it much more comfortable.  I was delighted when I recently read a report that said going without was better because it built up your chest muscles.  All right! I’m happy to comply and all in.

One day, several years ago, my sister and I decided to go bra shopping for her. She never could find a bra that she liked. We spent three+ hours in the “intimates” department picking out pretty bras, utilitarian bras, lacy bras, and plain bras.  She would hang out in the fitting room and I would bring in different sizes, colors, and styles. She would try them on and we would both laugh hysterically. Very quickly the fitting room was filled with rejects. 

After many false starts, we settled on 3 bras that she felt were just right. The final picks were not too big, not too small, but just right. It was a bit of a goldilocks moment. We selected a few pairs of underwear to match and called it good. I was exhausted and she was quiet. 

About a week later, I asked Sandy how the new bras were working out. She got quiet again and wouldn’t make eye contact. She finally confessed.  The Monday after our intense shopping excursion, she had returned all the purchases we had made and continued to wear her old, worn-out bra.  I couldn’t believe my ears.  

I have always wanted to have a professional bra fitting, however, after my escapade with Sandy, I think it can wait. 

Who is Judy

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How Do I Love Thee – Let Me Count The Ways…

love about myselfWhat do I love about myself is the question of the day.  It’s a challenging question to answer because people tend to focus more on the negative aspects of themselves.  I’m choosing to try to be more positive, so I’m actually having a hard time picking just one thing.  That will most likely sound conceited to some.  Here are a few things that I’m proud of about myself.

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Friends – Both Old and New – I Love You All!

Best Friends

My BFFs

Are you the type of person that has lots of friends around you or just one or two good ones?  Throughout my life, I’ve had a few different people that I considered my good friends.  

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Stupid Jokes – I can never remember them anyway!

bitmoji-20191022081812Stupid Jokes – I can never remember them anyway!

O.K. there are a lot of jokes out there that are funny I must admit. I happen to have a significant other, a/k/a husband, who loves to tell jokes. How he remembers so many is beyond me. I hear a joke which I actually feel I should share and, of course, I can’t remember the stupid joke.

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Damn! I’m FUNNY!!

LaughingHard“Rectum?  Damn near killed him!”  –   “Liquor?  I hardly know her!”

These are my two favorite jokes – or rather punch lines to jokes.  I don’t know where I first heard either of these or what the actual jokes are, but I find both so funny.  I don’t care how often I say them – they always make me chuckle.  After years of hearing these over and over, my kids just roll their eyes and tell me I’m not very funny.

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Compliments vs. Insults

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I’ve had a tough time writing this post. I’ve erased and started over multiple times. I wrote it to the end once and when I read it back to myself. I wanted to gag, so it too was deleted.

The truth is, I don’t remember being complimented. It is much easier to remember the snarky remarks and yes, even the insults. Compliments? Not so much. Continue reading