Lazy or Just Inadequate?

Am I lazy or just inadequate??  I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.  Both in my personal life and my work life.  In my work life, I’ve said for years that I want to get back to my computer programming/development skills.  I have all the tools I need to refresh this information in my head, so why don’t I accomplish this?  What is holding me back from accomplishing this goal?

What is holding me back?

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I Was Born a Pleaser

Somehow, in life, I was born a pleaser.

Ideal Life I was the youngest of three girls and I quickly learned how to act so that my sisters would be pleased with me.  The other side of this spinning coin is, I have often been devastated when someone close to me says mean things to or about me.  I can never understand why they would want to be hurtful. This results in me wanting to do something or try something, but being held back by the abuse I allow myself to suffer in the opinions of others.

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