image_pdf

Always Landing On My Feet

cat - spirit animalI think my spirit animal is the cat.

According to https://www.spiritanimal.info, the cat carries many meanings revolving around the balance between seemingly opposites, such as inner and outer, action and rest, and light and dark. It’s strongly symbolic of the connection with what usually hides in darkness or the unknown. The cat generally represents: Continue reading

Too Little, Too Late

bodyWhat is happening?  To my body that is!!  When I was a young teenager I was really skinny.  I even went to the doctor to find out why I wasn’t gaining weight.  He prescribed some pills.  They were probably sugar pills for all I know, but they didn’t work.  Continue reading

Cover That Hoo-ha

hoo-haI’m sitting on a sandy beach towel. It’s the summer of 1978 and I coyly look toward the camera. Although my pose looks comfortable, I am inwardly hesitant and unsure. I feel like my swimsuit is comfortable and fits me. The blue is slimming on my hips and the bold white and pink chevron draws the eyes up. My feminine asserts…my boobs were the focus. But even with this beautiful body in a gorgeous, flattering suit…I feel self-conscious. Continue reading

The Birth of My Princess

princessI had always said that I wanted 4 kids.  My hubby said, “No – 2 is fine”.  I offered a compromise and said “How about 3?” He again was adamant that 2 was fine.  But for some reason, my family didn’t feel complete. Continue reading

Little Red Swimsuit

My body used to think the only piece of clothing I owned was a swimsuit.  I worked at the YMCA as a lifeguard and swimming instructor.  My “uniform” was a red one-piece swimsuit covered by my red YMCA jacket. When I wasn’t wearing my work suit, I was wearing a bikini, or a two-piece suit and sailing or water skiing on Beaver Dam Lake. I always felt proud of the way I filled out my suit. Continue reading

A Lifetime of Weight Concerns

Growing up I was always thinking about my weight.  I was never happy with what I looked like.  As a young child, I was painfully aware that I was so thin.  The veins were so close to the surface of the skin that my chest appeared purple. Because of this, I would never wear anything with a V-neck or a low collar to hide this fact. Continue reading

It’s the Odd-Ball Things

odd-ballBoth mom and dad did so many amazing things for me over the years, but the ones that really stand out were the ones that dad did.  We used to tease mom that it was because I didn’t have any happy childhood memories of her, but in actuality, it was because the things that dad did were the odd-ball things. Continue reading

My Dad – My Rock

dadMy dad was my rock.  To say I always saw eye to eye with my dad, especially in my teenage days, was an overstatement!  We often would butt heads as I was a rather rebellious teenager and didn’t like his rules and restrictions, but I always found him to be the very foundation of my life.   Continue reading

My Birth of My Pumpkin

pumpkinI was pregnant again and my doctor had told me that my due date was December 13th, but that this was going to be a big baby.  I remember during one appointment, my doctor did an ultrasound and said, “You’re going to have a boy and he is NOT shy!”  Our little boy was in my belly, arms and legs somewhat outstretched and his privates were very obvious!   Continue reading

A Struggle for Dad’s Approval

dad's approvalI am a pig-tailed, 4-year-old girl, demurely leaning against my dad’s extended knee. He is half kneeling in some wild daisies beside tall sheltering pines. He is grinning with pride at the camera, my right hand is thoughtfully touching his chin. My adoring eyes are on his face as I take the first bite out of a perfect red apple. It is a 1969 photo of peace and approval. It is the goal I seem to be always reaching for. Continue reading