When I was growing up, I always thought relationships had to be 50/50. Give and take needed to be equal or the relationship would not succeed.
In reality, what I discovered was that relationships almost always consist of an unequal number of contributions. If one person is having a great day, they might contribute 80%. If the other person was having a bad day or a troublesome day, their contribution might only be 20% or less. The goal was to have the total equal to 100%. Unfortunately, that didn’t always happen.
OMG – this year will mark my 50th birthday. Thinking about this has brought to mind some things that need to change and some goals I need to achieve. I’m currently single, overweight, and will soon have no kids at home. It’ll be just me and the animals. Do I want to spend the next part of my life in the same way that I’ve been living? Continue reading →
I sat down at my desk and opened my daily calendar. Suddenly it hit me. Today is April 4, 2019, and I am turning 70 years old. Most of the people I know, who are my age, seem to have their act together. Several friends own lovely cabins up North. People I graduated from High School with have substantial pensions and retirement funds. Others have retired and are traveling and seeing the world. I always thought I would be enjoying these things too. Instead, I was still working at the bank and as much as I enjoyed helping others reach their goals, working at the bank was no longer one of mine.
My aha moment came many weeks, months, after my retirement last year. I realized it after 56 years of working as a paralegal/legal secretary for the same firm my boss retired and the office closed. It is hard to break old habits, like cleaning at night and on weekends, never having any free time without feeling guilty, and being able to have some free time for myself. My aha moment came when one day many months later I realized, while I was on a road trip with a friend, that I didn’t have any real-time constraints other than my family needing me to come back for things such as cleaning, cooking, driving grandkids around, you know, the usual. We were driving along and I thought aha, I am on my own at this moment and don’t have to go to work. No one was expecting me to get out a will, do divorce papers, real estate documents, correspondence, and the list goes on. Continue reading →
Am I lazy or just inadequate?? I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Both in my personal life and my work life. In my work life, I’ve said for years that I want to get back to my computer programming/development skills. I have all the tools I need to refresh this information in my head, so why don’t I accomplish this? What is holding me back from accomplishing this goal?
I was the youngest of three girls and I quickly learned how to act so that my sisters would be pleased with me. The other side of this spinning coin is, I have often been devastated when someone close to me says mean things to or about me. I can never understand why they would want to be hurtful. This results in me wanting to do something or try something, but being held back by the abuse I allow myself to suffer in the opinions of others.
When someone asks me to do something, I take pride in doing what was asked and doing it well. Sometimes I do research, look up procedures and spend time planning out the best way to complete the task. I finish the project or the document or the job and go back to the person that made the request pleased that I have accomplished my goal only to hear…
I used to be so proud of myself. When others would tell about vegging in front of the tv or watching a movie marathon all weekend, I would feel the smug self-satisfaction of accomplishment. I prided myself on creating artsy stuff, crafts, and steadily remodeling my home.
I really don’t get pet peeves. I mean, why do you call it a pet peeve? Can’t you call it something simpler? Plus, there’s “pet” in pet peeves…is there something wrong with pets? Why don’t you just call it “annoying”. Because isn’t that what pet peeves are? But I guess, it’s just a way that people express themselves. But I’m just going to call it ANNOYING.
One of my pet peeves is when people say, “Hi, how are you?”, and really don’t care or want to hear about you anyway.
Pet Peeve #2: Husbands with toys. Why is it they complain about your “stuff” sitting around or hanging on walls, but feel there is nothing wrong with their things, such as trailers, sitting out in the driveway 24/7?